


The Cosmology of Aaron and Spencer

by LucretiaSeeks



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-14 21:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4581357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucretiaSeeks/pseuds/LucretiaSeeks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Consider an AU where Spencer does not meet Gideon after CalTech and never joins the BAU. His path leads him to indulge his love of math and science. He is doing post-doctoral research, teaching a graduate seminar, and teasing the secrets of the universe from its fundamental language, mathematics. He bears the scars of his early life, especially his mother’s illness and his father’s abandonment, and he fears for his future and rarely allows people close. He has largely come out of the other side of his darkness, retaining his passion for knowledge and love of life.</p><p>Further consider an AU where Aaron accepts Strauss' offer of early retirement from the BAU after Haley's murder. While he is struggling with PTSD, his overriding priority is being the best father he can be to Jack, while not repeating the sins of his own father, and becoming the man who can fulfill the promise he made to his late ex-wife. He takes the loss of his BAU family hard and looks for ways to stay connected to them and to Jack's Aunt Jessica.</p><p>Can these two damaged souls allow themselves to overcome the pain of their pasts, find healing, and build a future together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. aphelion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is at a coffee shop reflecting on teaching his graduate seminar, _Exploring our Mathematical Universe_ , and all the ways an objective life suits him, when he is encounters an intriguing stranger.

**a** **·phe·li·on** / əˈfēlēən/ _noun_

noun: **aphelion** ; plural noun: **aphelia**

_the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun_

The thin autumn sun was just disappearing behind the buildings of Harvard University's hallowed halls when Dr. Spencer Reid decided he should return his empty mug to the barista and begin his walk back to the condo he was subletting several blocks away. He was losing the light and wouldn't be able to read outdoors much longer anyhow. It was his habit to have coffee after his weekly afternoon seminar, no matter how tempted he was to lose himself in the library stacks or in one of the excellent rare and used bookstores the area boasted. He had read several studies that concluded that coffee shops provide the ideal environment in terms of ambient noise for reading and studying. However, Spencer was unconvinced that the researchers had controlled for the ready availability of caffeine and sugar-laden pastries. More research was likely needed.

Although he was only three weeks in, Spencer was content with the way the fall semester was progressing. He had settled into a generously-sized furnished studio located between the main campus and the Smithsonian observatory, which he absolutely loved having at his disposal. The studio's previous occupant was said to be on an extended archaeological dig in Peru. The students enrolled in his elective graduate seminar, ' _Exploring our Mathematical Universe_ ,' seemed bright and inquisitive. Better still, his graduate assistant, Maria ( _"...pronounced 'Mariah' like the singer because her mother named her for the famous female astronomer, Maria Mitchell, who was also from Nantucket," she informed Spencer upon their first meeting_ ), was adept at shielding him from most of the mundane elements of academia, granting him the freedom to plan engaging classes, advise selected students on their graduate theses, and pursue his own work on the next generation of mathematical models needed to unlock the secrets of the universe. His inner sardonic voice castigated, _“If you're not careful, you'll start believing you're the next Neil deGrasse Tyson.”_ He snorted at the mental image of himself with his own PBS special, some hybrid with Neil’s unbridled passion for cosmology dressed in Mr. Rogers’ sweaters and slippers. _No, thank you very much_! Fifteen graduate students were enough, oftentimes more than enough, and they were actually *interested* in the topic. _'Neil, I'll leave educating the masses up to you. A TED talk might not be out of the question, though...,'_ and given their most recent conversation, Spencer began mentally outlining his presentation.

As he placed his over-sized mug in the dish bin, adjusted his messenger bag across his body, and turned to leave, Spencer came face-to-face with perhaps the most compelling man he had ever seen. His eyes were captured by those of a dark-haired man roughly his own height, or just a bit shorter, who was making his way into the shop as Spencer was trying to leave. For an extended moment, Spencer’s eyes were lost in that piercing gaze, somewhat longer than was entirely comfortable. He had the impression of dark chocolate depths and an attractive face even though deeply etched lines suggested experiences of the sort that accelerate chronological years. The man carried himself with confidence, authority even – the type of man who would be noticed and a path cleared for him. His conservative suit, paired with an unadventurous tie, was tailored to fit. Spencer's cock stirred, and he inexplicably was frozen in place. The stranger's assessing look did not waver. If possible, the man's lips, already set in a firm line, tightened. Shaking his head and with a quiet laugh at himself, Spencer muttered, _'I must have said that out loud,'_ and more clearly, 'Excuse me, please,' as he shouldered past the stranger and out into the gloam.

Spencer's gangly legs set a quick pace, his hands stuffed inside the pockets of the caramel tweed jacket he'd chosen to wear today over a black turtleneck, futilely trying to wrap the material around his thin frame. Spencer wasn’t sure if the setting sun made the air temperature feel cooler or if he was having a visceral reaction to the stranger. He gave a passing thought to the need to find some cold-weather gear soon. From all accounts, his early years in Nevada and the later ones at CalTech will not have prepared him for New England winters. Spencer had noticed that the weather was a popular topic of conversation in the northeast and fleetingly considered the unreliability of forecasts in an age when petabytes or more of weather satellite data are available at any given time. ' _There are not enough people to analyze so much information accurately, and the existing analysis algorithms are inadequate,_ he posited _._ _We did almost as well with weather balloons._ Briefly he considered lending his expertise to NASA/NOAA, then discarded the idea, at least for now.

Spencer’s agile mind skipped back to the dark-haired stranger at the coffee shop. He fancied he could feel a phantom pressure in his right shoulder where they'd touched as he'd passed. Spencer was all-too-aware that most people thought he was a lost cause when it came to interpreting social cues. However, that was not exactly true. More accurately, Spencer was keenly observant; rather, he was usually disinclined to respond ‘appropriately’ to those social cues. Small talk bored him, and he had a low tolerance for gossip; he had been told more than once that his sense of humor was an acquired taste. In general, he consciously worked to avoid interacting with people when it was not necessary, taking advantage of the tendency of others to pass his odd behavior off as just another eccentricity associated with genius. What else could be expected of someone who reads 20,000 words per minute with perfect recall, after all?

It certainly did not take an IQ of 187 for him to realize early that his calculated approach served as an excellent defense mechanism to keep unwanted emotional entanglements at bay. His mother's struggle with, and eventual descent into, paranoid schizophrenia taught Spencer that people who were supposed to love you sometimes **_could not_**. His heart ached with love for her who had cherished him as best she could and for as long as she was able, while his stomach twisted from the ever-present guilt for the way he had - for all practical purposes - abandoned her. His father's desertion from their family when Spencer was only 10 taught him that people who were supposed to love you sometimes **_would not_**. Given his experiences with his parents, Spencer felt much more comfortable in the objective world of mathematics and science, even academia, though that was not without its issues. _“Ivory tower, indeed,”_ he mused.

While Spencer would argue that sociology and psychology were both valid sciences in the strictest sense - namely that one could pose hypotheses, design experiments, and interpret results - the social sciences did not interest him overmuch and their subjective nature made him uncomfortable. He was more at home with quantitative reasoning and would leave the qualitative studies to those more comfortable with emotional involvement.

As he let himself into his building with his electronic key, then entered the required security codes for the elevator to reach his floor and to open the door to his unit, Spencer's unbidden thoughts returned yet again to the older, attractive man who had captured his attention so completely for that fleeting moment. His budding erection had subsided with the cooling air and brisk walk, but his mind was still intrigued.

Spencer was well aware of the eye contact shared by two men to indicate mutual interest. He was a healthy and fully functional 25-year-old man, after all. (He also knew when to break said contact to deflect unwanted attention.) It was rare for Spencer to be interested in someone sexually based on sight alone. When he did allow himself social interaction, Spencer found he most usually responded to an attractive personality trait he observed in a person - intelligence, compassion, enthusiasm, humor. Gender was not an important factor, though historically he did tend to have more satisfying experiences with men.

No, even though he and the handsome stranger had shared a look longer than was strictly appropriate for two heterosexual males in a public place, Spencer did not identify any interest under the stranger's challenging, yet guarded, scrutiny. Rather, Spencer recognized suspicion, weariness, a certain wariness, and perhaps even judgment. _He thought you were talking to yourself!_ _You were talking to yourself!_ Still, Spencer's innate curiosity was piqued. He wondered what had happened to cause those deep lines in a face only a decade or so older than his own. And if the well-worn copy of Dante’s _Paradiso_ that he had been enjoying earlier (in its original early Italian) mocked him from his messenger bag, he willfully ignored it. Instead, he prepared himself a pot of tea, sweetened with honey, and settled in on the sofa for the evening to critique a journal article for a friend before it was published.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearests,
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing in this fandom and my second post of fiction to the web. Let's not mention snippets scattered haphazardly across my hard dive.
> 
> Like the ungrateful wretch of a lurker I have been, I hypocritically welcome all feedback and comments. The story is outlined and the first several chapters written. I will endeavor to respond thoughtfully to all feedback.
> 
> I’m sure I could use a beta if anyone with love for Aaron and Spence is moved to take on this job? I’m especially worried about continuity of character voice, plot development, and more generally, ‘Is this even something anyone wants to read?!’
> 
> Much love and gratitude,  
> cLS


	2. black hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron feels out-of-sorts after agreeing to lead a lecture series for law students. He wanders around feeling disconnected and pondering his life post-BAU-retirement. When he stops in his neighborhood coffee shop, he is enraptured by a stranger's captivating hazel eyes and feels anything but disconnected from him.

**black hole** noun  
  
noun: **black hole** ; plural noun: **black holes**  
  
_a region of space having a gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can escape_  
  
Aaron Hotchner stepped out of the venerated brick building topped with a white cupola that housed the administrative offices of Harvard Law School - including that of his mentor and friend, Harry Connelly, who was now serving as Associate Dean. He took a few deep breaths of the crisp autumn air in an effort to relax. In his hand, he held an envelope that contained a signed contract committing him to six lectures during the course of the fall semester. Like most lecture series, it was open to the public, but realistically only law students specifically interested in the prosecution of serial offenders were likely to attend. Wondering why he had not thought to bring his briefcase with him, Aaron slipped the envelope into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket. Harry had gone out of his way after Aaron had decided to return to the home of his _alma mater_ , assisting him with logistics, making suggestions for real estate, recommending school systems. He owed his friend a favor. And he needed something to do - he was too young to retire.

Now that he and Jack had been settled into Cambridge for almost a year, Aaron sometimes felt far removed from the life he had led in DC as “Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, Chief, Behavioral Analysis Unit”. Other times, like 3 a.m. this morning, when he awoke in a cold sweat, hearing the report from George Foyet’s bullet that had ripped through Haley's neck, as clearly as Aaron had first heard it over a mobile line, he was not nearly as removed as he’d hoped to be.

Aaron would have been a poor profiler to not recognize the signs of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), whether in himself or in others, and Aaron had been very good at his job. He made a conscientious effort to set aside the voice that said if he’d been a little bit better, Jack would still have his mother. Aaron took another deep breath. Understanding PTSD intellectually was vastly different from actually living with the condition yourself, from supporting your son as he struggled as well. Both he and Jack saw a specialist, together and separately. They had moved from thrice-weekly appointments to meeting two times a month unless a specific issue arose. And he and Jack were managing, together, most of the time.

Checking his watch, Aaron considered that Jack would not expect him home yet. When he’d walked over to finalize the details of the lecture series, his original plan had been to ask Harry to have a drink or an early dinner with him after the formal business was concluded. Their therapist had begun making subtle suggestions that Aaron develop a social life separate from Jack. By the end of the meeting with Harry, however, Aaron was feeling restless, adrift, and he was having trouble concentrating. He knew he would be poor company. Instead, he decided a solitary walk around campus, along the river, and back home would better serve him. Perhaps the exercise would even help him have a night of undisturbed sleep.

As he set out across the lawn, Aaron’s lips quirked a bit, picturing their neighbor, Ms. Josephine. On the rare day that Aaron could not pick up Jack after school, Ms. Josephine met Jack in his first grade classroom - Jack’s teacher had been one of her students some years ago, exactly how many years, no one mentioned. She and Jack would meander together through the tree-lined streets of their neighborhood, sometimes stopping at a playground, and usually bringing Jack to her own home for a snack and to play until Aaron returned. Jack was fascinated by her solid black cat, Sir Rupert, but Sir Rupert wisely had no interest in becoming a toy for a six-year-old boy. Ms. Josephine would regale Jack with stories of the escapades of her own children, now grown and scattered here and abroad, and her grandchildren, who visited her frequently but on a schedule that was as-yet indiscernible. Aaron contemplated sketching the genealogy to help him remember what grandchild belonged to which child and where in the world they lived. Josephine assured Aaron that her home had always been open to her neighbors and to the friends of her children. That welcome now extended to Jack and Aaron, and she would brook no argument. The gracious widow with a quick, incisive wit and impeccable manners had become a surprisingly good friend to the Hotchner men.

Aaron reflected on those incredibly difficult days following Haley’s murder when he was seeking a direction in the aftermath. His mother wanted him to bring Jack to Manassas where he could open a small private practice as his father had done. The very idea made him cringe. Haley’s parents were not well enough to care for an active child with any regularity, and in any event, they left Aaron with no doubt that they held him responsible for their daughter’s murder and did not trust him with Jack’s well-being either. Since he privately agreed with the former sentiment, if not necessarily the latter, he said nothing. Surprisingly, Haley’s sister, Jessica, had assured Aaron that if he did decide to return to his position at the BAU, she was willing to be on-call to care for Jack when Aaron needed to travel for work.

And his team - Aaron swallowed past the lump in his throat - subconsciously rubbing a hand down his chest where he bore his own physical scars from Foyet, remembering that his team had noticed his absence, his team had found him in the hospital. He was so proud of all they had done while he recovered. Aaron vaguely wondered why he had never managed to tell any of his teammates the full extent of Foyet’s depravity? He supposed the information was in a medical file somewhere. He felt sure that if Garcia or anyone else had known, they would have treated him differently, more gingerly, perhaps. In any case, the terror Foyet soon visited upon his family made his own experience pale in comparison. Every single member of his team supported him in the inquiry into Foyet’s death. And every single member of his team made sure he knew, each in their own unique way, that he had their unqualified support whatever decision he made about their future.

Given that he was a man who was accustomed to making split-second decisions under pressure upon which the lives of his team and innocent civilians relied, Aaron was surprised to have felt so completely paralyzed about choosing what was best for himself and his beloved son. Ambivalence was not a component of Aaron Hotchner’s profile.

Crossing the street to walk along the river for awhile, Aaron considered how easily he loses himself in the past, belatedly realizing just how far he had walked without being truly aware of his surroundings or of time passing. He especially hated to lose focus for even a moment at home, only to be brought back to the present by Jack, having to ask him something twice or tug his hand to get his attention.

Jessica’s offer had been sorely tempting, Aaron mused. Aaron was fiercely dedicated to his job and their mission. Beyond that, he understood that his sense of identity was deeply intertwined with his role in the FBI. It had become increasingly difficult to distinguish between Aaron and SSA Hotchner. Compartmentalization was a fine method when it worked. Unfortunately, any remaining walls Aaron had erected, which separated himself from his job, were obliterated by Foyet.

As her dying wish, Haley had entreated on Jack’s behalf, _“Promise me that you will tell him how we met. And how you used to make me laugh. He needs to know that you weren’t always so serious, Aaron. I want him to believe in love, because it is the most important thing... but you need to show him. Promise me!"_

God, he had never realized how strong she was, how truly brave, until the end.

The brutal truth Aaron faced was that SSA Hotchner would never be able to keep this promise to Haley - it was far more likely that SSA Hotchner would leave Jack an orphan. Aaron, on the other hand, just might be able to learn to be the father Haley wanted for Jack, the father Jack deserved, so Haley could rest in peace. Given that realization, accepting Erin Strauss’ offer of early retirement was the only decision possible.

Aaron surveyed the Charles River and the skyline of Boston rising on the other side. The green space and paths along the river were fairly busy with cyclists, runners, some couples strolling holding hands, scattered singles here and there, reading, walking, skating. Giving a sigh tinged with regret at how deeply disconnected he felt from everyone around him, Aaron carded his fingers through his neatly cropped black hair and turned to make the full circle toward home.

Considering the dark memories that had accompanied him this afternoon, he had certainly been correct that he would not have been a pleasant dinner companion for Harry. There was a coffee shop on the way home where he could buy some beans for himself and some tea or treats for Ms. Josephine, which invariably would be shared with Jack. The thought lightened his heart a bit.

As he entered the shop, Aaron was stopped short by a young man on his way out, muttering to himself as he adjusted his messenger bag over a tweed jacket. Aaron spared an uncharitable thought for the impotence of elected officials in meeting the needs of the area’s homeless population, many of whom suffer from mental illness.

He quickly reassessed the young man when sparkling hazel eyes unlike any he had ever seen captured his own.

He was dressed well enough, though he was clearly more interested in comfort than fashion - perhaps a graduate student?

His obvious intelligence and good humor were attractive, of course, and to Aaron's surprise, his dick began to take notice. Aaron's appreciation of his tousled light brown hair and full, sensuous lips were nearly enough to distract him from the young man's fascinating, highly changeable eyes, which tantalizingly offered to reveal more if only Aaron would look longer. There was a seasoned maturity Aaron had never seen coexist with such …? Not innocence. (He'd now decided to firmly place him in his mid-twenties in spite of his boyish appearance.) Guilelessness? Artlessness? Aaron was mildly annoyed at being reduced to describing something that felt tangible in terms of what it was not. In only this suspended moment, looking more deeply, Aaron thought he saw so many of the emotions he had been managing today reflected back to him - sorrow, love, loneliness, friendship, disconnection, yearning. Aaron knew he should look away, but he could not bring himself to break this odd tenuous connection. 

Aaron had not felt such pure, unadulterated desire for another person since long before he and Haley had moved into separate bedrooms. Obviously, he’d brought himself off in the past two years - but it was a perfunctory act performed quickly to relieve stress, a straightforward way to satisfy a basic biological need, having no more import than drinking a glass of water when you’re thirsty. Aaron had not realized exactly how much he missed having an intimate partner.

He hoped his mask was firmly in place. From long experience, his expression should be schooled to betray nothing of his inner turmoil. Given how the afternoon had left him feeling so raw, he was not entirely sure that his defenses were up to the task.

He tightened his lips at the realization that he was standing in a public coffee shop. In his tailored business suit. Fully, even painfully, aroused. Wearing boxers. Without a briefcase.

Before Aaron could gather his thoughts sufficiently to speak, not that he had any idea what he would have said, he was treated to a self-deprecating laugh and a polite, ‘Excuse me, please,’ as the man brushed past him and went on his way.

Aaron was left to ponder what might have happened had he given in to the uncharacteristic urge to follow.


	3. collimation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's excited about drawing dinosaurs, reading an African folktale, and meeting Ms. Josephine's grandchildren at a party this weekend. Aaron is excited to hear from Garcia and to make homemade blueberry tarts for the party with Jack.

**collimation** noun

_the accurate adjustment of the line of sight of a telescope_

“Daddy!” Jack yells and rushes full speed down the steps of the elementary school, launching himself into his father’s arms.

Aaron swings him around and up, bracing his son on his hip and dismissing the ever-present urge to remind him not to run on the stairs. It is an exercise in futility. Aaron realizes that it wasn’t so long ago that a smile from Jack was a rare occurrence. Another part of him is already anticipating the day when an older Jack will be more reserved in greeting his father. He decides to relish his little boy’s enthusiasm and store memories for a future day during this golden window of opportunity.

“How was school today, buddy?” Aaron asks, giving Jack’s teacher a wave and a nod as they turn to leave.

“I can walk.” Jack squirms until Aaron sets him on his feet but not completely letting go until Jack’s hand is firmly in his.

Jack chatters happily about art class where Ms. Liz helped him draw a dinosaur with colored pencils and reminded him to always sign his work because real artists do that. “We read a story together with Ms. Liz about a little boy and his grandfather in Africa who saved their whole village with a youcalay and magic and after that we listened to the story like a song.” Aaron appreciated that the school encouraged children to use teachers’ first names. His own elementary years had been so much more intimidating.

“You-ke-lay-lee?” Aaron hazarded a guess.

“Do you believe in magic, Daddy?”

“Where is Africa?”

Aaron went with the easier question first, explaining that Africa is another continent like North America, the continent where they live. He promised to show Jack the continents on a map when they were home.

As for the first question, Aaron thought of the enchanting young man he had encountered a couple of evenings ago. Of more relevance, he was fairly sure Jack still believed in Santa Claus. “I definitely believe in magic, buddy.”

And if the young man had begun making guest appearances in Aaron’s solo relief sessions, making them intensely more pleasurable, there was no harm in it.

“I can’t wait to go to Ms. Josephine’s tomorrow, Daddy! Are you excited? We’re going to have a salon with crutays ... and canpays ... “

“ _Crudités_ and _canapés_ ,” Aaron supplied, enunciating carefully.

Jack turned a questioning gaze up at his father. Any member of his team would have instantly recognized the look as pure Aaron.

Aaron clarified with a smile, “Appetizers or snacks.”

“We’re still bringing ‘berry tarts, aren’t we?”

Ah, yes. Ms. Josephine’s ‘salon’. The woman had dropped off four quart-sized baskets of freshly picked blueberries, saying a friend had just returned from berry-picking in Maine, and proceeded to instruct him and Jack to be there absolutely no later than six. “Blueberry tarts would be delightful!”

When Aaron had squirmed, commenting that it sounded like an adult party and that he should stay home with Jack, she had waved off his excuse with the news that two of her grandchildren were visiting from Bruges, and besides, how were children supposed to learn how to behave at adult parties if they only attended children’s parties? He had no ready reply, and before he could thank her for the berries, she was out the door.

“Melissa and Marc will be there … I wonder if Sir Rupert likes them …,” Jack continued happily, while Aaron worried about where to find blueberry tarts.

  
  
_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

  
  
Aaron was awake early the next morning, sipping his black coffee thoughtfully, and relishing the quiet of the morning. They had passed a peaceful night, no nightmares, and Jack was still soundly sleeping. Aaron was no closer to finding blueberry tarts than he had been the previous afternoon. They either screamed ‘Bakery!’ or required an order placed weeks in advance.

He was happily distracted from his dilemma when he heard the tapping that indicated an incoming video call. Making his way into the family room, which he now affectionately thought of as his ‘command center,’ he marveled at his BAU family. Penelope and Kevin had descended upon Cambridge within the first week of their move, and when they left two days later, his family room boasted a full videoconferencing center, including two high-resolution flat screen monitors and omni-directional cameras and microphones. A video gaming system had been integrated with his entertainment center, and several games they thought Jack would enjoy had appeared in his DVD collection.

Aaron <thought he> knew how to operate most of it - he was fairly competent with the DVD player and Internet streaming. Jack had filled in some of Aaron’s deficiencies with his own knowledge of the game console and controllers. The entire system was almost completely wireless, so Aaron figured as long as he made sure that the electricity and cable bills were paid, all would be fine. The salient point for Hotch, though, was that his team wanted to be in touch with him and Jack. They were still family.

Aaron pressed the sequence of keys needed to answer the call, sharing both audio and video with Garcia and smiling at her bright red and black outfit and clunky accessories. She reminded him of a ladybug today. “Good morning, Garcia!”

“ _Bonjour, mon capitaine_! How are my hot-Hotchner men this fine Saturday morning? What am I saying, you defy all laws of thermodynamics with your hotness?! Am I calling too early?”

Aaron chuckled. He hoped she never changed. “We are fine, Garcia, and not at all - I’m already having coffee. It’s always good to hear from you. Your French is especially appropriate today.”

“ _Pourquoi, Monsieur?_ ” Aaron had stopped asking her to drop the ‘sir’ months ago. He had to choose his battles, after all. “Did someone change the setting on your weather app from Fahrenheit to Celsius?”

“No,” he shook his head in mock exasperation. “Jack and I are attending a salon tonight.”

“Will you go in period dress? I don’t think you could pass as Napoleon, sir, but Jack would be so adorable as _mon petit prince_! Let’s think of something for you …”

Aaron gently interrupted her before he was treated to a comparison of himself with a list of French royalty and military heroes.  
  
“It’s worse, Penelope. It’s potluck, and Jack and I are bringing the blueberry tarts, the *homemade* blueberry tarts.” Aaron emphasized the problematic word and explained the presence of freshly picked blueberries.

“Pish … this does not even register on the scale of problems. It ranks a 12 out of 10 on the ‘You And Jack Will Have a Blast’ scale!” After a few keystrokes on Garcia's side, he felt his mobile vibrate announcing the arrival of the incoming recipe link.  
  
“The most important part is that you buy the pastry cups from the frozen food section of the grocery store - I like the Greek phyllo ones myself, but they are delicate - take care the edges don’t burn, sir.” she advised. “Who has time to actually make pie crust from scratch, I ask?”  
 

 

Morgan popped his head into the camera field of view and gave a wave. “Hey there, Hotch. How goes it?”

“Morgan!" Aaron greeted him with genuine pleasure. "Things are going well! Garcia’s just helping me plan a fun day with Jack. How are you?”

“Same as usual really - we win, but we never seem to win well. You know how it is.”

Aaron nodded, “I do.” He noted that Morgan had bypassed his personal question by giving an answer about the job.

“Say, do you think I could call you in a few days to bounce some ideas around?” the new Chief asked.

“Of course you can. Is it important? We can talk anytime you need.”

“Not a chance, man. I hear you have baking to do!” Morgan scoffed. “Get to it, and I’ll call early next week.” And he was gone.

 

Garcia continued as if there had been no interruption, “Remember to let Jack use the sifter to add powdered sugar to the tops - that’s the most fun!”  
  
Garcia had been right. He and Jack had enjoyed their shopping and cooking project together. (They now owned a sifter.) He didn’t yet know what he should do with the other 3 quarts of blueberries, beyond adding some to their morning cereal. As it was, they had 64 *homemade* blueberry tarts, lightly baked to perfection, and if the powdered sugar was not sprinkled ‘just-so’ evenly on each tart, so be it.

He used the camera on his phone to take a couple of pictures of Jack proudly displaying the tarts, then forwarded the best one to their ‘list’, another techie gift for the family courtesy of Garcia. The ‘list’ included the personal emails of his team along with that for Jack’s Aunt Jessica. He had been given clear orders to take photos frequently and to forward them immediately. He was to assume that everyone wanted to see them, all of them, all of the time. It had felt odd to him at first, intrusive, but he and Jack both enjoyed seeing responses from their family at their adventures. Within a few weeks, photos from the rest of the list began to appear in his own email. Now it was part of their routine, another way of keeping close. He liked that the communication was open in both directions.  
  
Aaron realized that neither he nor Jack had suffered any anxious moments all day. He hoped that boded well for the evening. He didn’t want Ms. Josephine to be disappointed, but at least they were only next door if they needed to leave.  
  
Just before six both were freshly scrubbed and dressed casually in light sweaters and khakis (him) and jeans (Jack). Aaron resolved to forget the interesting places they’d both found powdered sugar during their showers, but not before a few images of questing tongues licking powdered sugar from lips swollen from hard, demanding kisses added themselves to his mental repertoire.

He surreptitiously adjusted himself in his briefs, and the two of them left for Ms. Josephine’s.

  
  
_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

  
  
Aaron and Jack were the first to arrive at Ms. Josephine’s stately Georgian home. She had exclaimed over the first two trays of tarts - “Just beautiful, perfect!”

Jack beamed. With austere formality, and everyone suppressing grins, Ms. Josephine presented Aaron and Jack to Melissa and Marc and vice-versa. The twins appeared to only be a year or so older than Jack and spoke fluent English. Within a few minutes, and after a nod from Aaron to lend Jack a bit of confidence, the trio were clamoring upstairs so the twins could show Jack their room for their vacation and the toys they had brought with them from home.

  
Aaron had only just handed Ms. Josephine the last of the four trays of tarts when her doorbell chimed musically.

“Aaron, be a dear and get the door for me, please,” Ms. Josephine instructed and disappeared with the tray through the foyer and into the kitchen at the back of the house.

Aaron opened the door to none other than the beautiful young man he’d last seen three endlessly long days ago at the coffee shop. The man seemed momentarily nonplussed.

However, Aaron was in a better place today than he had been at their initial encounter. He extended an open hand and met the young man’s gorgeous eyes with what he hoped was a clear and appreciative gaze of his own. For good measure he added a small smile.  
  
“Welcome and please come in. I’m Aaron Hotchner. Ms. Josephine is in the kitchen.”

Aaron had the impression that the young man was rapidly considering and rejecting the options presented. Hesitating for only a second, he took a deliberate half-step toward Aaron and clasped his outstretched palm with his own warm hand, squeezing gently yet firmly. The exact pressure and grip conveyed volumes between the two men.

“Spencer Reid. It’s very nice to have found you.”


	4. dark matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer circle one another at Ms. Josephine's party. Spencer does magic tricks and brings coffee. Ms. Josephine persuades Aaron to let Jack spend the night. Spencer persuades Aaron to take a walk. Aaron and Spencer enjoy Aaron's porch glider and one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sincere gratitude begins here for [EloquentDossier](/users/EloquentDossier/pseuds/EloquentDossier) who has graciously befriended both me and my story. Any mistakes are mine because I am prone to keep tweaking after she has blessed it.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> cLS

**dark matter** noun

_a hypothesized form of matter particle that does not reflect or emit electromagnetic radiation, the existence of which is inferred from gravitational effects on visible matter, such as stars and galaxies_

Aaron stepped back to allow Spencer entry, wondering at the young man’s odd greeting. “ _It_ _’s very nice to have found you”?_ Had Spencer been looking for him? The thought was undeniably arousing. Before Aaron could ask, Ms. Josephine swept in.

“How lovely you’re here, Spencer! Let me make introductions.” She gleefully turned to Aaron, who mentally rolled his eyes at the ‘formal’ persona she’d adopted earlier with the children. “Aaron, may I present Dr. Spencer Reid. He and my late husband were very good friends when they were at CalTech.”

Aaron tried to reconcile Spencer’s youth with his title and a close friendship with someone who would have likely been a grandparent when they’d met. Aaron thought Spencer so handsome. He had chosen to wear navy dress slacks that hugged his slender hips paired with a lightweight v-neck sweater made of some material that looked soft and warm and inviting. Cashmere? The sweater draped loosely over his lanky frame, and Aaron noticed that its intricate navy and tan pattern were actually chess pieces! A shank of his caramel hair fell across his forehead, and Aaron’s hand itched to touch, to move it out of his way.

Ms. Josephine continued, “And Spencer, I’m so happy for you to meet Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, FBI, Retired. He and his son Jack are my neighbors. They moved here from DC last year, and I am delighted to have them next door.”

Spencer considered that Aaron’s age was inconsistent with retirement. Perhaps he had been injured in the line of duty? Spencer wondered if he had imagined that Aaron returned his interest. He was usually better than this at reading people. To Spencer, this Aaron seemed to be less solemn than Spencer’s first impression of the man at the coffee shop. Spencer had been unable to prevent the intriguing stranger from wreaking havoc on his concentration this week. While he had secretly hoped he might encounter the interesting man again, he truly had not thought he had made any impression upon him whatsoever, except perhaps a poor one. If Aaron were gay, was he closeted? Spencer speculated. He could have been forced out of the FBI in disgrace. From all indications, the FBI was a bastion of homophobia. And a _son_? Spencer restrained himself, just barely, from looking around to try to see the child.

The two men shook hands again, this time an automatic response to the social situation, both realizing that Ms. Josephine was looking between the two of them, clearly perplexed.  
  
Aaron fervently hoped that he had not completely lost the thread of the conversation. “Please, just call me Aaron,” he offered.

Spencer just wished he knew for certain that he had not said any of that aloud. “Spencer is fine.”

There was no opportunity for further conversation just then, and Spencer was reminded of the many reasons he tried to avoid cocktail parties.

Ms. Josephine relieved Spencer of his bag, thanking him for bringing coffee. “This will be delicious with Aaron and Jack’s blueberry tarts! I could use your help in the kitchen. You know where to wash up.

“Aaron, please go check on the children. It’s much too quiet!”

Aaron nodded, “Of course.”

As he made his way up the stairs, Aaron heard Ms. Josephine chiding, “Really, Spencer, sugar too? Did you think I wouldn’t have enough on hand?” _  
_

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

The two men had very few chances to actually speak with one another throughout the evening. There was a steady flow of guests, coming and going, and Aaron wondered why he and Jack had been given a definite time of arrival. Ms. Josephine circulated like the veteran hostess she was, moving from group to group, making sure everyone tried the various delicacies set out on most horizontal surfaces and that no one was left out of conversations. Aaron’s drink was kept full, although he’d managed a switch from beer to water after the first round. He noticed that Spencer seemed to have a Perrier now, though he’d started out with hard cider. Interestingly, he realized that no matter where he was in the room, he was aware of Spencer’s location. He grimaced that it was a bit like his ingrained habits - knowing where the exits are, positioning himself along a wall or corner, keeping at least one exit in his line of sight. His focus had been very good for most of the evening. They’d met one another’s gaze several times, not lingering in any real sense, but yet there was perhaps a promise there, something for later.

Once by the living room fireplace, Aaron asked Spencer, “How is it that you knew David?” referring to Ms. Josephine’s late husband.

Spencer smiled widely at the good memory, hazel eyes alight with merriment. “He was a visiting professor at CalTech when I was there working on a doctorate. David was absolutely convinced that I was a runaway living in the library because he caught me sleeping in a carrel two nights in a row. I must have looked so young to him.” He shrugged with a _‘What can you do?’_ gesture. “I wasn’t old enough to have a California license. Even after I showed him my student ID, he didn’t believe me. I had to find two different librarians to convince him that I was, in fact, a student and that it was perfectly fine for me to spend my evenings there as I needed.”

Spencer cut himself off before he added that he’d been so disappointed that he was not able to study quantum mechanics with David, the only course he was teaching, which he had taken three years before. No one wanted to hear the history of his course-load from a decade ago. Or how much he missed his friend and their chess matches.

Aaron realized that ‘a doctorate’ implied that the young man held more than one, and deduced that he must be brilliant, a prodigy even. Yet Spencer seemed so comfortable in his own skin. Surely he hadn’t had an easy path during those early years. Aaron well knew how cruel children, or more correctly, people, could be.  
  
Another time, over baked Camembert with a black raspberry horseradish sauce placed invitingly on the dining room table, Spencer asked Aaron why he chose to retire in Cambridge.

Aaron replied that he’d lived there years before when he was a law student. He felt obliged to add, “I’ve been away from the Bureau for almost a year. I’m feeling a little restless, and I think Jack is beginning to feel smothered. I’ll be lecturing part-time this semester, then decide where I may go from there.”  
  
Spencer wasn’t able to follow-up and ask about the subject of his lectures ( _or_ _“Why did you retire? Where is Jack’s mother? Are you really attracted to me? Why are intruding on my thoughts?”)_ None of those questions was appropriate for someone he had just met at a cocktail party. He sensed that there may never be a good time to ask Aaron such intrusive questions. He seemed like a private man.

They were suddenly surrounded by children. Melissa and Marc knew Spencer, who assured them that they’d been much too small to really remember him, although Aaron could see Spencer was only teasing them about how much they’d grown in the past year.

Aaron laid a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Spencer, this is my son Jack. Jack, say hello to Dr. Reid.”

Jack considered Spencer warily for a moment. “Do you give people shots?” There was no small amount of disdain. Then, “You’re really tall.”

Spencer crouched and held out his hand. “No shots - I’m not that sort of doctor. And now we’re the same height.” Jack seemed placated and shook his hand. “Just call me Spencer, Jack. Are you having fun tonight?”

Jack grinned, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah, we are having the best time! Marc and Melissa have a room with bunk beds and a futon and shelves of toys and books and games.”

He tugged on his father’s sweater to make sure he was listening. “Melissa has the story about the ukulele and the magician too, but it’s in French!”

Aaron began to explain the story to Spencer, but was surprised when Spencer smiled and graced him with a wink. “That’s a great story - one of my favorites. I love the village in Africa where all kinds of people live together.”

“Daddy showed me on a map where Africa is, but we couldn’t find the village,” Jack seemed momentarily dejected. “Do you know there are seven continents? We are in North America right now!” as if he expected he might wake up somewhere else tomorrow.  
  
Spencer laughed. “I do know about the continents, and the coffee I brought tonight came from a friend in Africa. What’s your very favorite part of the story?”  
  
That was an easy one for Jack. “The magic! Daddy says magic is real. The grandfather and grandson save their village with magic.”

He looked to his father, and Aaron agreed, hoping the twins wouldn’t disabuse his son of the idea.

After a beat, Jack added in a more serious tone, “Dad saves people all the time when he works cases, but I don’t think he uses magic.”

Aaron was a bit troubled that Jack spoke about his father’s FBI work in the present tense, but given that the boy, who had been much too quiet over the past year, was chatting easily with people who were new to him, he decided not to dwell on it.

His concern about preserving Jack’s illusions proved unfounded when Spencer shared with Jack in a stage whisper, “Please don’t tell anyone else, but I’m a magician too.”

Marc and Melissa cheered, clearly familiar with Spencer’s antics. And Spencer proceeded to entertain the kids by making coins and flowers disappear then reappear behind ears and in pockets. A deck of cards appeared from somewhere, and soon many of the guests were participating in the impromptu magic show. Aaron was impressed with Spencer’s sleight-of-hand, and when he congratulated him on being such an excellent magician, he was rewarded with a beautiful smile that felt as if it were for him alone, as well as a crimson carnation. Aaron was sure his cheeks were a matching shade, and he tried not to feel too pleased. 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

The children had gone upstairs earlier to watch a movie, and by ten, only Spencer and Aaron remained. Ms. Josephine once again sent Spencer into the kitchen, this time with instructions to find room in the refrigerator for the leftover carrots and celery, proclaiming, “One must always have carrots and celery, yet no one ever seems to eat them!”

Aaron was torn between going to get Jack and trying to have a few more minutes with Spencer. Being a father won, and he went to see why it was so quiet upstairs.

The door to the children’s room was open, but all of the lights were out except for a small desk lamp. By the lamplight he could see that Marc was in the bottom bunk, and Melissa and Jack were both sprawled across the queen-sized futon. Everyone was sound asleep. Upon closer inspection, he saw that Jack was wearing a T-shirt and that his clothes had been carefully folded and laid atop his shoes.

Ms. Josephine spoke quietly from behind him. “Let him sleep. He’ll be fine until tomorrow.”

Aaron started shaking his head before she’d even finished. “I can’t, Josey. He might wake up. Sometimes, he has bad dreams.”

“And if he does, I’ll be here, and I will bring him to you. They’re all exhausted. You won’t be more than fifty feet away.”

Aaron hesitated, torn. Jack had only ever stayed with Jessica. And just a few times. Months ago.

“Come on, Aaron.” Ms. Josephine quietly, but firmly, urged him out of the room, and softly pulled the bedroom door closed behind her. “You need some time for yourself.”

She disappeared into her own room, leaving Aaron standing in the upstairs hallway, wondering how she seemed to know so much and what he should do now. 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer  
_

Spencer appeared to be waiting for him at the kitchenette when Aaron made his way downstairs and toward the only light left on. Spencer rose and indicated the back door. “Will you walk with me?”

Aaron wordlessly followed the younger man out into the pleasant night, finding his right hand captured with Spencer’s left. Spencer intertwined their fingers.

Josephine’s back garden was beautiful in the daytime, resplendent with roses - lush bushes and climbing vines on white trellises. Stone paths meandered through hostas, sedum, and lilies. He recalled a bench under a Japanese maple beside a pond with koi. In the early spring, she’d given Jack and him a tour, though snow still covered areas here and there. Taking a deep breath, Aaron recognized rosemary and perhaps lavender. He wondered how night-blooming jasmine smelled; it sounded as if it would be romantic. And with that thought, Aaron realized his focus had drifted.  
  
Perhaps Spencer realized it as well. He indicated their hands, squeezing lightly, bringing Aaron’s attention back to the moment. “Is this alright?” he asked quietly.

Aaron nodded. He wondered when the self-assurance he had felt earlier in the evening had deserted him. Probably somewhere between the upstairs hallway and here. Aaron decided that he liked holding hands with Spencer. It should have felt odd and unfamiliar. His large hand had dwarfed Haley’s. Spencer’s hand was essentially the same size as his own, perhaps a bit slimmer and fingers a bit longer. He wasn’t being held, nor was he holding. Their interwoven fingers demonstrated a level of equality he appreciated. He wondered if that had been Spencer’s intention.  
  
Spencer’s right hand came up to lightly touch Aaron’s jaw, and he tilted his head to the side, expectantly. Aaron decided that something more than a nod must be required of him. “Yes. I like it very much, Spencer.” His voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. To be sure Spencer understood, he returned his earlier squeeze.

Spencer was still waiting patiently.

What did Spencer expect? Aaron reviewed. Spencer had asked “ _Is this alright?_ _”_ and Aaron interpreted it to mean holding hands. Aaron thought again how beautiful he was, how strange and wonderful it was that their paths had crossed, that he was capable of feeling such desire, that there was the possibility his feelings were returned by this fascinating man. He also felt completely out of his element. Perhaps Spencer was asking a larger question? Aaron searched Spencer’s eyes, seeking the right answer.  
  
“Spencer, I promise I will let you know if I’m not comfortable with something,” Aaron tried, wondering if he was getting ahead of himself or going adrift altogether, desperately hoping he wasn’t.

Evidently not because Spencer caressed his cheek again then brushed his lips across Aaron’s, the faintest of touches, and whispered, “Thank you, Aaron. I will do the same.”  
  
On the other side of the garden gate, Aaron indicated his small white cottage across the lawn, and the men settled on a wicker glider with deep cushions protected by a screened-in porch that extended along the length of the house.

Spencer pointed at the light in the upstairs window across the lawn, dim but visible through the screen. “We’ll be able to tell if there’s a problem with the children.” Aaron marveled that this young man was so attuned to him that he understood Aaron would need reassurance about Jack’s well-being.  
  
“Have you ever … ?” “I have never … ”

Their rueful chuckles at speaking over one another eased some of the tension that had been steadily building.  
  
Aaron was the first to break the silence. “I have never been with a man. I need you … I need you to teach me what to do,” he ventured. Aaron was clear that he wanted Spencer for a lover. He wanted to be the sole focus of Spencer’s attention, to see himself reflected in Spencer’s brilliant eyes. And he needed to understand why, after so long of feeling so little, Spencer was able to resurrect desire within him, why only a look from Spencer days ago had caused him to ache for the man almost every moment since.

Spencer surprised him. He had a feeling that he should become accustomed to Spencer surprising him. “I could do that,” Spencer began.  
  
_Could?!_ Aaron tensed, but before he could pull away and lick wounds not yet actually inflicted, Spencer nudged his shoulder playfully and smiled at him with a great deal of affection, now holding both of Aaron’s hands in his own.  
  
“But, Aaron? Have you considered that the most likely reason you’ve never been with a man is because you’re actually straight?”  
  
Aaron hadn’t expected someone who seemed as open as Spencer to have labeled him already. He wondered if Spencer found him lacking some quality he desired in a lover. He thought he had been so open about his attraction to Spencer. He certainly didn’t think he could have hidden it. And he was positive that Spencer wanted him at some level as well. Aaron had been too good a profiler to misread him so completely. He considered his response carefully, decided how much he should share.  
  
Aaron cleared his throat. “A week ago, I would have agreed with you, Spencer. I’ve only been with one person, Jack’s mother. And until I met you, I’d never considered being with a man anything more than an academic exercise.” Aaron gathered some additional courage. “You have played a major role in every fantasy I’ve had since I first laid eyes on you.”  
  
Spencer was pleased to learn that Aaron had been thinking of him too, but he still needed more information. “Academic?”  
  
Aaron accepted that Spencer would choose to question him about one of the two topics he was least interested in discussing further. At least tonight.  
  
“My work as an agent required an in-depth understanding of human sexuality.”  
  
“Behavioral analysis,” Spencer nodded as if the conclusion was obvious.

How did this man’s mind work? He really wanted the opportunity to find out. Aaron decided to continue.

“You’re the first _person_ I have felt any desire for in several years, male or female.”

“Jack’s mother?”

The second topic. Aaron took a deep breath, turned their hands so now he was holding Spencer’s, and met his gaze.  
  
“Haley, Jack’s mother, died last year.” Aaron knew that Spencer would not miss all that was left unsaid in that sentence, but he desperately hoped that Spencer would not press for details tonight. He continued, “Before her death, we had been divorced for some time, and we were separated longer than that.”  
  
Spencer nodded again soberly. Aaron sensed that the young man was compiling data, assessing countless variables until he reached a conclusion, rearranging pieces of a puzzle until he was satisfied that every piece fit. Aaron thought of Spencer’s lovely sparkling eyes, now in shadows but still gleaming, open and considering. Yes, Aaron saw passion for him there, but it was held in check. Controlled.  
  
For a moment, Aaron thought of Morgan, young, attractive, with smooth lines and many casual conquests. He thought of Rossi, sophisticated, attractive in middle age, and even after three failed marriages, definitely not celibate. Why was it so hard for Spencer to understand? And then Aaron knew.  
  
He had thought Spencer complex when he’d first seen him, when he’d wanted him so quickly based only on a meeting of eyes that seemed to convey the entire sense of the man. He thought of all he’d learned this evening speaking with him, observing him. A man like Spencer would be playful and loving, but he would never play at loving. He would not treat someone important to him cavalierly. At some level, this must mean that Aaron had already become important to Spencer. If they started this, Aaron knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that while it would never be uncomplicated, he - he and Jack - would be important to Spencer. The thought should have terrified him. But it didn’t. Aaron relaxed, understanding that Spencer only needed one last factor to complete his calculations.

“Spencer.”

The man’s name felt like a prayer on Aaron’s lips. He caressed the cheek that pressed into his palm, then turned into his hand, felt Spencer’s lips brush against his fingers.  
  
“I trust you, Spencer. Please trust me.”  
  
That seemed to be the missing piece. Aaron smiled softly.

Spencer pulled Aaron to him for a kiss, and one of Aaron’s last perfectly coherent thoughts was ‘How did I ever go without this for so long?’

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

  
This time Spencer tasted Aaron without reserve, kissing, then licking Aaron’s lips, urging Aaron to open for him. Feeling that shy smile under his mouth drove Spencer’s desire directly from a low simmer to a blaze. When Spencer would have pulled back some, Aaron followed, making demands of his own.

While Spencer listened carefully to everything Aaron told him and considered everything Aaron left unsaid, he reined in a powerful urge to simply take what Aaron was so freely offering. Spencer wanted Aaron fiercely, but he feared there was not much room here for him to be careless. Even without being certain of every detail, Spencer knew that Aaron was a man who had been hurt, likely many times over. He was deeply scarred, and Spencer doubted their union would ever be without shadows of Aaron’s past. Nevertheless, Spencer wanted the man who had the strength to find a way to live with so much pain, to be a loving father and sacrifice an important career to make a home for his son. He wanted the proud man who bravely and directly confessed that he had never been with a man before, who was willing to ask for help in facing desire that surely felt foreign to him. Spencer wanted to be Aaron’s lover. He wanted them to learn together anew all the pleasures they could bring to one another, perhaps providing refuge and solace while gaining the same for himself. He was fairly confident that Aaron was not simply seeking to experiment. Spencer now felt he could allow himself to take all Aaron offered and to try to give back in full measure without causing either of them any additional pain.

Spencer was delighted with Aaron’s responsiveness; his deep groans assured Spencer that Aaron was completely present with him in this. He would not have guessed Aaron to be a man who would easily lower his inhibitions. Spencer was determined to ensure that Aaron had no cause to regret letting him in.

Spencer shifted, stretching out on the glider and resting his head on the plump pillows. He wrapped his arms around Aaron and pulled him down on top of him, their hips aligned and legs entangled. Mouths fused again as they learned the taste of each another. Spencer loved how close they were in size, even though he was so much thinner. He hugged him. “You feel so good on top of me, Aaron,” Spencer murmured, gathering him even more tightly.

Aaron lifted his head and squeezed Spencer’s shoulders. “I like it here.” His cock was rock hard against Spencer’s thigh, and he tilted his hips, pressing himself against Spencer, testing. “You taste good.” Aaron resumed exploring Spencer’s luscious mouth.

It did not take Aaron long to find a deliberate rhythm, easily getting lost in mindless need, seeking completion. Spencer found it near irresistible not to simply follow him into oblivion.  
  
Spencer whispered, “You are so hot,” and took some deep breaths, “but let’s slow down some and take our time.” Before pure instinct took over completely, Spencer wanted to regain some semblance of control. Otherwise, this would be finished before it had really begun. He wanted to extend Aaron’s pleasure as long as he possibly could; this was about more than getting off. “I want to make it last for us.”  
  
Spencer clutched Aaron’s ass and pulled his pelvis firmly against his own, holding him tightly, squeezing, caressing, lightly teasing the furrow between cheeks, keeping his hand on top of Aaron’s clothing, but intentionally first disrupting, then slowing Aaron’s movement.

When Aaron seemed to calm, Spencer held him still for a long moment before resuming their deliciously pleasurable kisses. He whispered sense and nonsense. “Easy, Aaron. We have plenty of time. No hurry.”  
  
Spencer nibbled a path from Aaron’s mouth, lips darkened and swollen from their kisses, to press gentle kisses along Aaron’s strong jaw.

Aaron moved his own mouth lower, and began an exploration of Spencer’s neck, nuzzling, licking, tasting.

Spencer responded in kind. “Good. Oh, Aaron, that feels so good.” He lifted his shoulders and turned a bit, and Aaron wrapped his arms all the way around him.

“You feel amazing, Aaron. So much passion. I love holding you close like this, being so close to you.”

Spencer shared more whispers and words of love near Aaron’s ear, seeking to gentle and reassure both himself and Aaron. He was rapidly getting lost again, overwhelmed with intensity. “Love this. You feel incredible.” He traced the hand he’d been holding firmly against Aaron’s ass back up under his sweater, making long sweeps up and down his back, interspersed with light caresses, making lazy circles at the base of Aaron’s spine.

Aaron tilted his hips again, arching his back, trying to press the small of his back against Spencer’s hand. “Your hands feel so good on me. There’s so much to feel.”

“Yes, just feel. Feel us. We are unbelievable together.” Spencer slipped his hand into the waistband of Aaron’s slacks so he could reach the exact area where Spencer knew so much of the tension was concentrated. “You feel fantastic. I want you so much. Don’t ever doubt that, Aaron. I can’t believe you really want me. Let me take care of you tonight.”  
  
“I definitely want you. You feel perfect to me, know just how to touch me.”  
  
Leaving his left hand to continue the gentle, almost hypnotic massage, Spencer used his right hand to pull Aaron more tightly against him, pressing their cocks together. “My dick is so hard right now, Aaron. Feeling your hard cock against mine makes me want to explode. I love the thought of watching you come apart in my arms. I can’t wait to see you come.”

“I want that too, to see you, come with me.”

Spencer considered unzipping their pants, undressing them entirely. He wanted to hold Aaron’s cock in his hand. He wanted to run his hands all over Aaron’s chest, and then do it all over again with his mouth. But they were so close already. Most of all, he did not want Aaron to feel completely overwhelmed. Maybe Aaron had the right idea. Friction would work, Spencer decided. The fabric of their underwear and pants might chafe if they went on too long, but seams pressing in strategic places could also feel very good if they were careful.  
  
Spencer spread his legs open a little so Aaron’s thighs would be cradled more comfortably between them. Pressed so tightly together, Spencer thought it was almost like a dance. He smiled at the man in his arms, who was holding him just as tightly. He was going to make sure Aaron loved to dance with him.

He tilted his hips up to feel for Aaron’s cock with his own. When he heard a moan of pleasure, he increased the pressure. Aaron shuddered. Spencer pulled away, then repeated the motion. “So good.” Yes, they could come together this way, he was sure.

Aaron responded beautifully, following Spencer’s lead, sliding his cock along Spencer’s. When Spencer heard a whimper that sounded a little like frustration or disappointment, he tilted his hips a bit differently to adjust the angle and pushed again. And Aaron responded in kind.  
  
Aaron whispered, “We are good together. Perfect. I’m so close.” He wished their clothes would simply disappear. The very idea of rubbing their hot, leaking cocks together naked almost made him spill.

Spencer’s hands were now focused exclusively on gripping Aaron’s ass, grinding their cocks against one another. Aaron groaned and returned thrust for thrust.

Cocks slipping and sliding, even with clothes binding and frustrating, Spencer doubted he could last much longer.

With a last lick at the vee of Spencer’s neck revealed by his wonderfully soft sweater, Aaron returned his attention to Spencer’s mouth. “I love how you taste. I don’t think I can hold it.”  
  
“Yes, I’m ready too. Let me have you for a little while.”  
  
Spencer felt Aaron’s shoulders start to shake, and he wrapped his arms around him, fingers reaching blindly, finding Aaron’s, holding on.

“Let go for me, Aaron. I’ve got you.” He mustered one more desperate press of his own throbbing cock up against Aaron’s erection.

He heard Aaron moan his name - _Spencer_ \- and he went over the edge.

When Spencer next was aware of his surroundings, he could feel Aaron’s cock throbbing against his own. They were both breathing hard. Spencer thought he could feel some of their damp warmth seeping through the four layers of clothes between their cocks, and he smiled. Hugging Aaron more tightly against his chest, he heard a satisfied hum originating in the vicinity of Aaron’s throat. He murmured, “Thank you.” Yes, Spencer thought, that had worked extremely well.


	5. equinox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Spencer share secrets at night and coffee at daybreak. Spencer learns Aaron wants him to believe that he knows nothing about dinosaurs; Aaron learns how Spencer likes his coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, [EloquentDossier](/users/EloquentDossier/pseuds/EloquentDossier), for blessing my work. As always, all mistakes are mine alone.
> 
> I'm having a lot of fun writing (and re-watching selected CM episodes)! I'm grateful for folks who are reading!
> 
> cLS

**equinox** noun

_either of the two times during a year when the sun crosses the celestial equator and when the length of day and night are approximately equal_

Aaron shifted to move off of Spencer. “I’m heavy.” But Spencer just held him more closely.

“You are fine right where you are,” Spencer whispered. “Stay. Please.”

Aaron wasn’t going to argue. He liked the way Spencer felt underneath him.

Some time later Aaron tried to move again. This time Spencer didn’t protest. The cold mess in his underwear was becoming uncomfortable.

“Let’s clean up,” Aaron suggested. He led Spencer into his home to find clean towels and show him to the washroom.

 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

 

The men wordlessly returned to the glider, neither inclined to bring their time to an end. These small hours felt precious and they weren’t ready for morning to intrude. Aaron reclined with Spencer’s back pressed against his chest, head resting on shoulder. Their left hands were intertwined, and one of Spencer’s long legs was on the porch, absently rocking them. His other was wrapped in Aaron’s. Their thoughts traveled parallel paths. Neither man could remember a time feeling this relaxed.

Spencer eventually broke the silence. “How are you?” he quietly asked. If Aaron didn’t feel like answering, he could pass the question off as unheard, but Spencer actually needed to know. He didn’t sense any awkwardness. But academic knowledge notwithstanding, he hoped Aaron wasn’t quietly reconsidering the practical idea of having sex with another man.

“I’m fine, Spencer. This is nice.” Aaron immediately realized how anemic the words ‘fine’ and ‘nice’ sounded either applied to his feelings or to what had passed between them. Before he could apologize and find better words, however, Spencer agreed.

“Yes, it’s nice to just _be_ here with you like this. I spend so much of my time _doing_. I don’t find quiet easily,” he mused. “Finding it with someone else without feeling any pressure is extraordinarily rare.” Spencer turned his head back toward Aaron, and they touched their lips together softly. Spencer decided Aaron was not having second thoughts yet. Outstanding.

Aaron gently brushed a kiss to Spencer’s temple. Birds were beginning to stir. Aaron wondered idly why birds wake at 3 or 4 in the morning instead of waiting until actual dawn. He remembered roosters in Virginia being especially annoying by starting their days well ahead of their alleged wake-up time. Spencer probably knows, Aaron thought fondly, but he decided the question could wait. “It’s like watching Jack sleep,” he said instead. “For those perfect moments, all is right in my world.”  
  
“He is a terrific kid,” Spencer said. “You’re a good father.”  
  
“He’s his mother - he’s so brave.”  
  
“He’s his father too. Brave, intelligent, passionate.”  
  
Aaron squeezed Spencer’s hand to acknowledge he’d been heard. It didn’t feel like a good time to broach the lack of confidence he felt in his parenting skills, how inadequate he felt so often with his son.

He felt a full-body shiver move through Spencer. “Cold?”  
  
“Not at all. I’m remembering.” Spencer kissed him again. “You really fantasized about me?” Spencer was incredulous.

Aaron flushed deeply as he remembered some of his more erotic imaginings. He tried to hold Spencer more closely. “Definitely. Morning, bedtime, shower time.”

Spencer grinned. He hadn’t thought himself the sort of man who would inspire fantasies. The knowledge that this brave, handsome man desired him was intoxicating. He knew they’d only skirted around an edge of the satisfaction they could find together. He felt bold. “I would love to watch you.”  
  
Aaron was quiet.

Spencer thought he’d gone too far, but before he could retreat, Aaron met him. “That’s a part of it, right, Spencer? I want to watch you. I want to watch you watching me. There are so many aspects to desire.” Aaron thought carefully about his next words, annoyed with himself for needing validation. “You said you were happy to have found me.” More tentatively, he asked, “Were you thinking of me too?”

Aaron was so courageous. Spencer decided to do his level best to match Aaron’s honesty. “Of course I was, Aaron. You captivated me for so many reasons. You intruded in my thoughts all week at inopportune times.” More seriously, “Your face haunted me.” He continued, “I’m sure my attraction to you was beyond obvious, but I didn’t realize you felt anything for me. After tonight, I’m not sure I understand that.”

Aaron suddenly understood that this beautiful, brilliant man had insecurities of his own, although he went to great lengths for them to go unnoticed. He wanted to reassure him. “I’d had a difficult day, but seeing you was certainly the best part.” Aaron remembered that afternoon and how disconnected he had been feeling. “It was disconcerting to have such a strong response to you, so quickly. We’d never seen one another before. That was a new experience for me,” Aaron struggled to explain, “and one I wasn’t sure I could trust. When I looked into your eyes, I felt naked, exposed, but I still wanted you more than air.”  
  
Spencer refrained from flipping himself over and devouring the man, barely. He settled for pulling their enjoined hands closer, running his thumb gently over Aaron’s hand. There was so much passion humming beneath the austerity he tried to project. Instead, Spencer turned his attention to the knowledge that Aaron had wanted him after all, and he carefully considered his response. Spencer knew it was much too soon to make demands, not that he ever would, but he could not help himself from making an observation. “I expect that you are accustomed to only allowing people to see what you choose for them to see.”  
  
Aaron waited. Spencer was astute, and he didn’t think the man was finished.

“It makes me very happy that you trusted me enough to let me in, Aaron.”  
  
Then, “I want you again.”  
  
This was Spencer - direct, guileless. It sounded like a general statement of fact, rather than an immediate invitation. Either way, Aaron’s cock responded. _Theoretically_ , he knew the many ways they could be together that would give them both pleasure. He had thoroughly enjoyed what they had done so far. He was completely sated, yet he yearned for more, for whatever was next. He wasn’t sure the contradiction was logical. He placed another kiss on Spencer’s temple. “Yes.” Yes, he wanted Spencer again. Yes, he wanted Spencer to have him again. Yes to all of it.

  
_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

 

The sky was lightening.  
  
Spencer looked at Josephine’s upstairs window. “All is still quiet over there.” He knew that with the exception of the time when they were completely lost in one another, Aaron had kept an eye on the light in the window. He had too.  
  
“Would you like some coffee?” Aaron offered. He teasingly added, “It won’t be nearly as good as the coffee we had with dessert.”  
  
Aaron remembered earlier in the evening when Spencer’s special coffee had been served, along with Aaron and Jack’s blueberry tarts.

Spencer had finessed his description of the coffee he had brought, which had been a gift from a friend of his who was serving in the Peace Corps in Malawi. Aaron had noticed Spencer’s careful phrasing so that it was completely unclear whether his friend had sent ‘freshly roasted beans’ or ‘fresh beans that were then roasted’. Aaron had then enjoyed Spencer’s subsequent discourse on his friend’s work: building irrigation trenches, improving sanitation facilities, and making safe drinking water available.

For his part, Spencer had seemed pleased that Aaron understood his joke. “I’m sure you know there are stiff civil, and even criminal, penalties for bringing certain agricultural products into the country.” Spencer had then launched into an in-depth description of the infestations of fungi that result in rusts that threaten coffee harvests.

Aaron had laid his hand on the man’s arm and whispered, “I’m _retired_ , Spencer. And anyway, customs and border security are handled by an entirely different agency.”  
  
Jack had watched the interchange with some interest, but he had soon been distracted by Ms. Josephine, who added just a splash of the coffee to his milk. Jack had been excited to have African coffee.  
  
Now Aaron considered Spencer the magician. His aptitude at sleight-of-hand appeared to translate into an ability to command attention or deflect it, according to his whim. Spencer was truly an expert at misdirection. He appeared to choose his words with deliberate care so that he communicated exactly what he wished to say. Aaron thought about his own declaration earlier giving Spencer his trust. He could think of no better example of ‘the exception that proves the rule’. He thought he was coming to understand at least some facets of the bewitching man.

 

 _Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_  


 

The men moved into the house, into the kitchen. Spencer found mugs while Aaron started the pot. Spencer immediately noticed the refrigerator art. “Jack is quite an artist,” he observed. “This is a very good brontosaurus, and it’s wonderful that he signed his work.” He peered intently at ‘Jack B. Hotchner’ written in careful cursive script. “Later he will be able to see the progression in his work, not only in the art itself but also in his signature.”  
  
Aaron looked at Spencer intently, then grimaced at himself. For Spencer, the term ‘signature’ had no nefarious connotations. Before retiring, Aaron had some idea of the separation between himself, his team, and civilians. It was a truth throughout law enforcement - the thin blue line that people mention - but he felt the chasm acutely now. He had willingly, willfully, removed himself from that world, but it would always be a part of him, always create a distance between himself and everyone else.  
  
“Are you aware that some schools no longer teach penmanship? They’ve replaced it with keyboarding,” Spencer sounded scandalized.

Aaron briefly wondered what Spencer and Garcia would think of one another. Aaron decided he didn’t want distance between himself and Spencer. “Come here,” he invited.

Spencer readily came to him, returning Aaron’s embrace. They stood for a moment, hands resting comfortably on one another’s waists. Aaron leaned in to kiss him, and Spencer responded immediately, returning the kiss, deepening it. Aaron wondered if Spencer felt his discomfort. He hoped not. He already dreaded many of the things Spencer would come to know about him if, no, _as_ their relationship grew. He did not want to sully Spencer’s optimism with the ugly realities of his former life. Even as the thought fully formed, he knew that it was somewhat inevitable. At the very least, he would need to explain Haley’s death.  
  
Spencer pulled back a bit and considered Aaron questioningly.

“I wasn’t entirely sure that it was a brontosaurus, but I didn’t want to insult Jack by asking.” Aaron decided to try some misdirection of his own. “I thought maybe a pteranodon. If his dinosaur fascination continues, I’ll need to become an expert.”  
  
Spencer knew there was something more at play here than Aaron’s knowledge of prehistoric life. And _pteranodon_? Aaron would definitely do better than that if he truly wished to evade. Spencer remembered the hard, unapproachable man he thought he’d seen at the coffee shop and decided to let it pass. For now. He cupped Aaron’s head and pulled him back into himself, resuming seductive, intoxicating kisses, then moved his mouth to one of the places he remembered pain that he wanted to ease, between Aaron’s brows. He lingered there for long moments before moving back to Aaron’s lips. Aaron opened for him, and Spencer’s heart lurched. After only a day, less, these kisses were rapidly becoming necessary to him.  
  
Spencer forced himself to step back, taking a few deep breaths. Aaron may hold tightly to his secrets, but he was a generous man with himself - or at least he was with Spencer. He was close to pushing for more, and Aaron seemed receptive. He wanted this man mindless again, under him, over him, around him. Naked. But it was too soon. And it was getting late.

Aaron smiled a bit, thinking that he understood. Desire flared so effortlessly between them. He dismissed his earlier misgivings and decided to focus on preparing their coffees.

“Sugar?”  
  
“Yes, please.”  
  
“Granular or powdered?”  
  
The glint of humor in Aaron’s eye intrigued Spencer. Remembering the berry tarts, he opted for powdered.

Opening the canister, Aaron dipped a finger into the sugar and held it up in mute offering to Spencer. It was mesmerizing to watch Spencer’s eyes darken with lust. Spencer licked the sugar from his finger without ceremony.  
  
Aaron dipped his finger again, moist now, and painted Spencer’s mouth with the sugar. He moved in to kiss him, using his tongue to lap at Spencer’s lips and taste his lovely face until all traces of the sugar were gone.  
  
Spencer was obliged to taste Aaron’s lips the same way. He kissed Aaron’s closed eyelids, one then the other. Spencer felt privileged that Aaron was sharing a playful side of himself.  
  
Spencer next took Aaron’s hand and dipped his finger into the sugar himself. He brought the digit to his mouth and licked and suckled in a completely obvious mimicry of what he wanted to do to Aaron eventually, on his knees in front of this man. Spencer laved the finger with his tongue, pulling strongly, hollowing his cheeks. He swallowed around it. Spencer wondered how Aaron’s cock would taste. What combination of flavors would he find when he was finally able to explore Aaron’s body thoroughly? Would Aaron’s cock feel heavy on his tongue? Would it fit well or would he struggle to take him all? Would Aaron’s come be thick and creamy? What flavors would Spencer taste as he rolled it in his mouth, testing it on the different areas of his tongue the way he’d been taught to appreciate a wine? Would Aaron’s release be too much for him to swallow? Would Aaron allow them to kiss afterward? Would he enjoy the taste of himself in Spencer’s mouth?  
  
Aaron’s cock throbbed. He thought he might come in his pants again if Spencer persisted in sucking his finger like it was a dick. Aaron decided he envied that finger. And he appreciated how much Spencer seemed to be truly enjoying himself, lost in his ministrations. While he had enjoyed oral sex occasionally, he had never felt completely comfortable about it. He worried it was something Haley had done only because she thought he liked it. He didn’t think the act itself did anything for her; it was only foreplay. If the lovely noises Spencer was making were any indication, he loved what he was doing. Aaron’s cock ached at the idea of reciprocating. He wanted to be able to satisfy Spencer, but he was sure he would have to ask the man for instructions. There was so much Aaron needed to learn. Looking into Spencer’s eyes, his finger still captured in that pliant mouth, he saw an infinite well of patience and affection that was a match for his desire. Aaron did know that he was exhilarated at the very idea of pleasuring this man.  
  
Spencer had the presence of mind to stop before he did actually drop to his knees in front of Aaron. If the fire in those dark eyes was any indication, he would welcome it. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I didn’t mean to get so carried away.” He reluctantly released Aaron’s finger with one last brush of his lips and hoped to redirect their attention. “You mentioned coffee?”  
  
Aaron realized he should get ready for Jack to come home, or go get him, or something. The coffee he’d made had long grown cold, so Aaron dumped it and started a fresh pot. “May I give you a ride home?”

“No, it’s not far,” Spencer declined. “I could use the walk.”  
  
Aaron poured the coffee into a thermos and marveled as Spencer dissolved a good amount of the powdered sugar in it.  
  
Aaron had a brilliant idea and pulled a quart of blueberries out of the refrigerator. “Here, take these home with you.”  
  
Spencer looked at the carton completely puzzled.  
  
“You can put them in cereal or something,” Aaron suggested.

Spencer took the blueberries. “Sure, cereal. I have that.” Aaron probably didn’t have Trix or Cocoa Pebbles in mind, Spencer thought. No matter, graduate students are always hungry.  
  
“Thank you, Spencer,” Aaron said as he walked him to the front door.  
  
“Anytime.” Spencer’s eyes were clear and alert even after being awake all night. “ _Any time_ ,” he repeated.  
  
Aaron closed the front door behind him and, moving upstairs, watched from his bedroom window until Spencer reached the end of the street and turned the corner, out of sight. Shaking off his lassitude, Aaron undressed and got into the shower, musing that they’d not even taken off their clothes.

 

 _Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_  


 

When Aaron went to retrieve Jack from Ms. Josephine’s, he found them all gathered around the kitchenette studying a calendar and busily making plans. Jack had enjoyed his evening with the twins. They’d become fast friends, and he was excited to spend more time with them during their stay. Aaron had to be a wet blanket, reminding Jack that while Marc and Melissa were on vacation, he still had to go to school. Somehow he found himself agreeing to take the children on some of their outings himself, including playing soccer with all of them in the park, weather permitting.

Ms. Josephine commented, “We should invite Spencer to go with us to the science museum. He’s the very best guide to have there. He’s the very best guide to have along anywhere, really, but he especially loves to visit the planetarium and observatory.”

Aaron was mentally kicking himself. He could not believe that he had let the man leave without making any firm plans to see him again. Spencer didn’t suggest any plans himself, Aaron mentally debated. But he had said, “ _Anytime_.” Was Aaron supposed to call him? They hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers. He was unsure about the etiquette here. Aaron was certain Ms. Josephine knew how to get in touch with Spencer, but Aaron refused to ask her. He hadn’t misinterpreted her speculative glances when he arrived, and she wasn’t being subtle about her meddling now.

 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

 

Spencer was grading papers to return to his students next week. He’d given them a research assignment to describe the mathematical and observational methods used by ancient astronomers - Babylonians, Chinese, Greeks, Romans - to develop the cosmological models for their respective civilizations. He firmly believed that an appreciation of the work of the first astronomers was required before delving into modern theories. The students grumbled, but he thought they were secretly pleased that his class was more than derivations and proofs.

He had some observatory time scheduled for that evening. He’d love to show Aaron … and then he remembered. He had not even asked for the man’s number. For a genius, he could certainly be an idiot. In his own defense, he hadn’t been using many higher brain functions this morning. What if Aaron didn’t want to see him again? He hadn’t suggested making plans. _Neither did you_ , Spencer argued with himself reasonably. He seriously doubted Aaron would be comfortable making the next move. Josephine probably had his contact information, but he didn’t want to ask her unless it was absolutely necessary. He doubted Aaron would want his neighbor to know his personal business, and for all he loved her, Josephine tended to pry. He could always just drop by, he decided. After all, he did need to return the man’s thermos.


	6. flare star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek visits, and Spencer attends Aaron's first lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much gratitude to [EloquentDossier](/users/EloquentDossier/pseuds/EloquentDossier) for blessing my work. As always, all mistakes are mine alone because I'm unable to leave well enough alone.
> 
> cLS

**flare star** noun

  
_a faint red star that appears to change in brightness due to explosions on its surface_

 

After leaving Jack at school, Aaron went for his habitual morning run and then showered. Spencer hadn’t been far from his mind since their night and morning together. Aaron slicked his hand with soap and wrapped it around his burgeoning cock. Since Spencer’s performance with the powdered sugar, Aaron had been unable to suppress his desire to give Spencer a blowjob. Now that he had started down this path of exploring a relationship with another man, he wanted to experience it fully. Aaron thought about taking the head of Spencer’s cock in his mouth, licking and sucking all around it, Spencer holding Aaron’s head still while he fucked his mouth to orgasm. With only a few strokes, Aaron ejaculated against the shower wall. He laughed at himself, certain that his fantasy was likely much too advanced for his limited skills. If he wasn’t able to see the man again soon, though, Aaron thought he might take advantage of his friendship with Garcia and ask her to track Spencer down for him.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron thoroughly enjoyed taking the children to the park after Jack’s school day ended. He bypassed the small playground nearest the school and shepherded his motley soccer team - Marc, Melissa, and Jack - to a larger park in the neighborhood where he knew groups of students frequently played. Aaron thought the kids would enjoy watching some more experienced players in addition to kicking the ball around themselves.

 Aaron practiced passing, trapping, and dribbling with his three charges and was impressed with their ball-handling skills. Melissa told him that she and her brother played with friends at home all the time. It wasn’t long before a group of young people took an interest in the children and invited them - Aaron included - to join their game. Initially Aaron had reservations about the smaller children being injured by the more aggressive older players. However, a friendly young man who introduced himself as Rodney assured Aaron that his co-ed team only played for fun and exercise. Some of them were parents themselves. Rodney carried a dry-erase clipboard on which Aaron could see player positions and arrows to demonstrate formations and plays, along with a whistle to get his players’ attention. He walked with a limp that Aaron assumed prevented him from playing himself, but he seemed to relish his role as coach.

 A couple of players adjusted the distance between the temporary orange goal markers to accommodate the additional players, and the match was on.

Hours later, or maybe only 45 minutes, Aaron was exhausted and left the pitch to get some water. The kids were still having a great time with the older young men and women. Aaron noticed that any time a ball went out of bounds, they let one of the children take the throw-in, demonstrating the correct technique. After one ‘foul’ had been called, Jack made an impressive corner kick that his side turned into a goal.

Aaron learned that Rodney was from Harlem and held a Ph.D. from MIT. Rodney indicated a tall, thin man sporting dreadlocks playing right wing on Jack’s side. The two of them co-founded a startup company that specialized in online marketing and now employed several of their buddies from college. Aaron remembered this as being one of the reasons he liked the Boston-Cambridge area so well. It was an easygoing college town kept vibrant by a young and innovative population with a diversity of people and interests. He decided to ignore the voice that threatened to override his positive thoughts about the likelihood of transient populations being vulnerable to those he had hunted.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron was reviewing his notes for the first lecture he was scheduled to give when he was interrupted by the doorbell. Opening the door, Aaron was surprised to see Derek Morgan on the other side.

“It’s good to see you, man,” Derek greeted him. Their brief handshake turned into a firm back-slapping hug.

“Same to you, Morgan. This is much better than a phone call.” Aaron welcomed him.

 “You have some neighborhood watch program here, Hotch,” Morgan commented. “Don’t look now, but the lady next door planting bulbs? She is watching our every move.”

Aaron gave Josephine a wave and invited Derek in. He should really ask her if she needed any help with her yard. He had plenty of time on his hands and enjoyed working outdoors.

“Josephine is a good neighbor,” he told Morgan. “She looks after us, especially Jack.”

“Well don’t be surprised if you are subjected to an interrogation later,” Morgan rejoined.

Aaron made them coffees, and after a nod of approval from Morgan, he added a splash of cream to Morgan’s mug. They took seats at opposite ends of the sectional in the den. He and Morgan last saw one another when the Hotchner men visited DC during the summer. Beyond that, the two had shared many late night phone conversations. Morgan had seamlessly transitioned into Aaron’s role, and by all accounts, he was an excellent leader, just as Aaron knew he would be. On the occasions Morgan sought guidance, it was usually related to navigating the politics of the job or asking Hotch for a second opinion about personnel issues.

Morgan was blunt. “Hotch, I need to know when you’re coming back.”

Aaron was dumbfounded.

Morgan continued, ”After you left, Hotch, I was happy to fill in. Of course I was. You lived the nightmare that keeps all of us awake at night - our family being targeted. But I thought it was temporary. I thought you would take some time to heal and come back. I didn’t intend for this to be permanent - I just wanted to keep the team together for you.”

Hotch had truly thought that his team accepted his decision to retire - he had no indication otherwise.

“I appreciate that, Morgan. From everything I hear, the team is as strong and as effective as ever.” Aaron took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to discuss what had been a wrenching decision for him. “I don’t have any plans to return. You have to understand that raising Jack is my priority. The team is yours now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“But Hotch, how can you stand it?” Morgan protested. “You are the best at what you do. You know that no place is truly safe. We need you in this fight. How can you stay sidelined?”

Aaron quirked his brow at Morgan’s arguments. He’d had them all before with himself. He tried to be honest with Morgan without betraying how conflicted he had been about his decision to retire. “It isn’t easy, Morgan.” Aaron thought about the copies of cold case files he kept locked in a drawer of the file cabinet in his office. He had been unable to leave them behind. After he’d locked the drawer, however, he kept it locked. The files were there for some day in the future when Jack was safe and happy, leading his own life, and Aaron was at loose ends.

“You and I both know there are no guarantees in the world. Anyone can become caught in the violence. UnSubs frequently choose their victims at random or some criteria that only makes sense in the context of their psychosis. But that said, Morgan, after Foyet, I had to step back. My responsibilities are to keep Jack as safe as possible and to be a father to him.”

“And you’re happy?” Morgan was disbelieving.

Aaron thought about the question. He wasn’t entirely sure what _happy_ meant. His father had seen to it that his childhood had not been happy. He thought he and Haley had been happy in the early years before his job came between them. In his mind’s eye, Aaron saw Jack laughing, playing soccer in the park. _As long as Jack is happy, I’m close._ Aloud he responded, “No, not entirely, Morgan. It has been a tough year. But Jack and I have more good days now than bad ones.” He thought of magic and Spencer. “Jack is resilient, and there’s the potential for being happy.”

Morgan was an excellent profiler too. “Potential! A new woman in your life, then?” Morgan teased.

Hotch could imagine introducing Spencer to his team one day, but at the moment, it felt too new to mention. He wanted to keep Spencer all to himself for awhile. “There is someone,” Aaron intentionally avoided using a gender-specific pronoun, “but it’s very new.” He smiled. “You’ll be the second to know if anything comes of it.”

Morgan grinned, understanding that Hotch meant Garcia would be the first to ferret out any information when she caught the scent.

“Do you not want to lead the team anymore, Morgan?” Aaron asked his friend. “I know you’ve had offers from New York and Chicago. You could be closer to your family.”

“No, I love it, man - that’s why I have trouble understanding you giving it up. I’m getting better at the political game,” Morgan commented, “but I doubt I’ll ever like that part of the work.”

They chatted cordially for awhile longer, catching up on their mutual friends. Aaron urged Morgan to stay for lunch and visit with Jack after school, but Morgan demurred. He needed to get back to DC because the team was leaving early in the morning for a case. Aaron couldn’t decide whether he was relieved or disappointed when Morgan didn’t share any details of their next case with him.

After seeing Morgan out, Aaron returned his attention to preparing his lecture.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron was completely surprised by the number of people in attendance for his first lecture. The large hall was near capacity. He thought that his arcane topic, _‘Best Practices in Inter-jurisdictional Cooperation Between Prosecutors and Investigators,’_ would only interest selected law students. In addition to students, Aaron recognized law school faculty and familiar faces from the legal community. He also identified many law enforcement officers with whom he had worked. Harry must have sent invitations to people all over greater Boston.

Before he began, Aaron’s eyes were drawn to Spencer seated in the middle row on the far right of the auditorium. _Dozens of people are here, and I can pick him out of a crowd._ He refused to allow himself to be distracted, however. He had no idea why the astrophysicist-mathematician-magician had decided to attend, but he hoped very much that the young man would stay afterward.

Ninety minutes later, Aaron was relieved to finally open the floor for questions. He’d noticed that Spencer had listened attentively the entire time. The audience was very well-informed, and he fielded inquiries about differences in evidence collection and forensic procedures between jurisdictions, managing conflicts in expert testimony, and civil rights issues related to using profiling to solve serial crimes. The only question that gave Aaron pause was directly related to George Foyet. A woman asked Aaron to speculate about reasons for the Boston Reaper’s dormant period between his murders in Boston and the later ones in the DC area. Aaron did not know if the woman had access to the investigation or if she was on a fishing expedition. _No matter,_ he thought. Aaron replied firmly, “I will not make any specific comments related to FBI BAU investigations.” And he was finished.

Quite a few people gathered around at the front of the auditorium either to introduce themselves to him or to greet him to renew their acquaintance. A few had additional questions about the night’s topic or about upcoming lectures. The woman with questions about the Reaper had disappeared, thankfully. Aaron had lost sight of Spencer in the crowd, and it seemed an eternity before he found him again. Spencer had lingered and approached Aaron as he was packing his laptop and briefcase, preparing to leave.

“Thank you for coming, Spencer. It’s great to see you.” Aaron was absurdly pleased but at a loss as to how he should behave. Realizing it would be entirely inappropriate for a public greeting between professionals, he suppressed the urge to hug his - lover. _Were they lovers?_

Spencer didn’t appear to feel any oddness in their interaction. “I’m so glad I came, Aaron. What a fascinating topic! I have some ideas about modeling crime patterns based on geography that I’d love to discuss with you sometime,” Spencer enthused. “It’s similar to creating a map of the universe, only on a smaller scale, of course. _And_ we would have actual data to use to verify our model instead of theoretical projections.”

The men made their way out of the building and onto the path that led to Aaron’s home, shoulders brushing companionably as they walked.

Spencer warmed to his subject, “In fact, did you realize that models of natural processes, usually biological - but we can extend those to astrophysical - can be used to map the risk of epidemics or to predict the effects of climate change on the spread of invasive species? Consider the fungi that we discussed in relation to imported coffees as an invasive species ... ” Spencer trailed off, realizing that Aaron was studying him intently. _He should work on his tendency to ramble and monopolize conversations with minutiae,_ Spencer chastised himself. _How do I wrap this up concisely?_

“My point,” he concluded, “is that mathematical models used across scientific disciplines - epidemiology, criminology, and cosmology - to name only three, are not as disparate as some might think at first glance.”

Aaron readily agreed that he’d very much like to hear more about Spencer’s ideas for using mathematical models to validate geographical profiling. He did not think he had ever met another person who could make connections so rapidly between such varied areas of study. And more importantly, Aaron had no doubts that the connections Spencer made were meaningful and would certainly yield useful information if pursued. Aaron thought, _He would unquestionably be an asset to the BAU_ , before he angrily cut himself off. _Spencer is more than an ‘asset’ - an expendable pawn to be used at the whim of a government agency._ Aaron was surprised at how vehemently he rejected the idea. He marveled that some alphabet organization - FBI, CIA, NSA - did not already have their claws into Spencer.

Apropos of nothing, Spencer added cheerfully, “I was hoping to find you tonight so I could return your thermos,” patting his messenger bag as if assuring himself the thermos was still there. “I stopped by earlier today, but Ms. Josephine said you had company. I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Derek Morgan, a friend from DC, dropped by today,” Aaron explained. “It wouldn’t have been an intrusion.” Aaron realized that he meant it. Eventually, he wanted Spencer to meet his extended family.

Along the way, Spencer showed Aaron the side street that led to his condo. Aaron seized the opportunity. “Would you like to come to my place for a drink, Spencer? Jack is spending the night with Josephine and the twins because I didn’t know how late I would be.”

“I’d like that very much,” Spencer replied. “We need to toast the success of your lecture tonight.”

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron pulled two beers out of the refrigerator and turned to find Spencer on him, pressing him against the appliance, cupping his head with both of his elegant hands. Spencer kissed him with full, sensuous lips, softly at first, then adjusting his angle slightly, more deeply, urging Aaron to open to him with his tongue. Aaron welcomed Spencer into his mouth, and the two were soon lost to everything around them except the feel of soft, willing lips, tongue sliding against tongue, and the taste of one another.

Spencer eventually broke the kiss and stepped back, taking the beers that were surprisingly still safely clutched in Aaron’s hand. He grinned mischievously. “That’s much better. I’ve wanted to do that since before your first slide.”

Aaron didn’t trust his voice and looked for a bottle opener.

Meanwhile, Spencer found Aaron’s phone on the counter where he’d placed it when they arrived. Wordlessly handing it to Aaron to unlock it for him, Spencer entered his contact information. He then used Aaron’s phone to call his own and stored the number. He smiled again. “Problem solved.”

Aaron handed Spencer his beer, thinking that perhaps the other man had felt as bereft he had, not having an easy way to reach one another. “Good,” he acknowledged, clinking his bottle against Spencer’s.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer was suitably impressed with the ‘command center’ and made himself comfortable on the sectional while Aaron found a music station they could agree on - classic jazz. Neither enjoyed new jazz. Spencer protested that much modern jazz was dissonant and left chord progressions unresolved resulting in the entire experience being uncomfortable for the listener. Aaron agreed completely.

Sipping their beers, the men caught one another up on their activities since they’d last been together. Aaron was pleasantly surprised at how conversation with Spencer ebbed and flowed naturally. It was nice to feel no pressure to fill silences with inane chatter. Aaron recalled his morning shower and decided to venture into unfamiliar territory given that Spencer didn’t seem inclined to take any initiative beyond that earlier kiss in the kitchen.

“I was wondering,” Aaron began. _How should he phrase this?_ He debated between accurate terminology and the colloquial, finally deciding that he was more comfortable with the correct language, at least until Spencer addled his brain with sex. Aaron remembered telling his brother once many years ago that until he could discuss sex like an adult, he had no business having any. Taking his own advice, Aaron said, “Spencer, will you please teach me how to perform fellatio.”

He now had Spencer’s undivided attention. “Aaron?”

 _Good grief,_ Aaron thought. _I'm sure he knows the term._ Aaron’s cock was already throbbing. _Perhaps he needed to be more direct?_ Aaron leaned in close to Spencer, cupped his jaw, and brushed his lips with his own, tasting the beer, but underneath, Spencer’s own unmistakable flavor. He tried again, “I want to give you a blowjob, Spencer. Will you please show me how?” 

Spencer’s mind raced to catch up. While he’d been debating if Aaron would be interested in sharing more of their seductive kisses, Aaron had sprinted past him. He breathed, “I would absolutely love that, Aaron, if you’re sure.”

Aaron was sure. He took Spencer’s hand and moved it to his now nearly painful erection. “I’m sure,” he added for good measure. Aaron slid down and onto the floor, knelt, and looked up at Spencer in supplication.

Spencer stood, unfastened his belt and pants, and pushed it all, underwear included, down to his ankles in one fluid motion. Aaron was mesmerized - Spencer was simply beautiful. His long uncut cock jutted from slender hips that led to lean, muscular legs. He was fully aroused, surrounded by tawny curls covering his pubis. Nicely shaped testicles hung loosely in his scrotum, covered with a light coat of silken hair.

Spencer seated himself again on the sofa, leaning forward to kiss Aaron’s mouth. “Just explore first with your hands. Take your time; there’s no rush.”

Tentatively Aaron stroked his open palm alongside Spencer’s cock, feeling how his skin felt as smooth as silk. After several more strokes with his open palm, Aaron closed his hand lightly around Spencer and stroked him. He was fascinated by the loose skin moving under his hand, alternately gathering to protect the glans, then stretching to expose it to Aaron. Aaron tightened his grip slightly so he could feel the steel beneath the velvet softness and gave Spencer’s cock a few experimental strokes. Spencer groaned, so Aaron did it again.

Spencer covered Aaron’s hand with his own and captured Aaron’s piercing gaze, darkened with lust. “You are so sexy, Aaron. Just thinking about you touching me, being in your mouth, makes me want to explode. I’m already really close, so we’re going to need to slow down if we want to make this last.”

Aaron was flushed with arousal. It was heady to know that Spencer was just as inflamed as he was. The blend of the familiar with the foreign was intoxicating to Aaron. He was well-acquainted with his own dick, but holding Spencer’s weight in his hand, jacking Spencer’s cock, felt completely foreign to him. It also seemed like the most natural thing in the world, an idea which Aaron treasured and planned to think carefully about later. Knowing that he was going to make love to Spencer’s cock with his mouth very soon excited him beyond reason. His own cock was leaking in his pants.

Aaron leaned forward to capture the wetness that was accumulating at the blunt head of Spencer’s dick with his tongue. Aaron was again assaulted by the flavors - salty, tangy, bitter, sweet - similar to his own, yet foreign because this was uniquely Spencer. Aaron wanted more. He turned his dark eyes up to Spencer to get a sense of how he was doing, what Spencer wanted next.

Spencer seemed to realize Aaron was waiting for him. He murmured, “So good, Aaron. Lick me.”

Aaron could tell that Spencer wasn’t entirely present. His gorgeous hazel eyes were fixed on Aaron, riveted, but his pupils were dilated. He seemed to already be lost in their passion.

Aaron considered Spencer’s weeping cock and decided that perhaps he didn’t need a step-by-step tutorial anyway. _I know what I enjoy_ , Aaron thought, philosophically. _I’ll go with that until Spencer gives me different instructions._

Gripping the base of Spencer’s cock in his hand, Aaron flattened his tongue and licked a long stripe from root to tip. Spencer thrust his hips into Aaron’s hand, and he whimpered. Aaron decided he must be on the right track. He continued licking until he’d covered all of Spencer’s cock with long, wet swipes of his tongue all the way around several times, and Spencer’s cock glistened with Aaron’s saliva. _What next?_ Aaron wondered. _His only clear idea was that he wanted more._

Focusing on the head of Spencer’s cock, Aaron alternated between licking and sucking on his glans, making light sweeps with his wet tongue, tracing circles around the head. Spencer seemed to especially like it when Aaron pulled gently on his foreskin if the small noises coming from his throat were any indication, and Aaron concentrated his attention there for a time. More liquid seeped from Spencer’s cock, and Aaron thought of a child nursing as he rhythmically suckled. _Beautiful._

Aaron took great care to cover his teeth with his lips, flattened his tongue again, then attempted to take Spencer’s cock deep into his mouth. His throat rejected his first attempt, but Spencer groaned. Aaron didn’t think it sounded like pain, exactly, but he decided he had been too ambitious. He adjusted his hand to enclose several inches from the base of Spencer’s cock, then tried again to move his mouth on the remaining exposed inches. It was still too much for Aaron, but Spencer moaned again. This time Aaron was certain it was pleasure.

Both of Spencer’s hands were now tightly gripping the edge of the sofa. It didn’t appear as if he’d taken his eyes away from Aaron. “Am I doing OK, Spencer?” Aaron whispered, and Spencer nodded. Reassured, Aaron resumed working the head of Spencer’s dick, laving it with his tongue, and sucking the glans in and out of his mouth. His cock was throbbing and harder still, which Aaron hadn’t thought possible. He longed to touch himself even though he knew he would probably come immediately. Aaron was sure he didn't have the coordination to jack himself off while continuing to give Spencer the attention he deserved. There was no choice - pleasuring Spencer was his priority at the moment. Aaron was astonished at his visceral need for this. He was surely getting as much pleasure from this, if not more than, Spencer.

Aaron was naturally taking a little more of Spencer’s length into his mouth now. Opening wider, he pressed the top of the glans against the roof of his mouth and swiped his tongue back and forth along the bottom. Spencer slipped a little deeper into Aaron’s mouth. One of Spencer’s hands moved to Aaron’s shoulder, gripping him tightly. The other caressed Aaron - lightly stroking his cheek, his jaw, under his chin, finally more firmly along his throat next to his Adam’s apple. Aaron involuntarily swallowed, and another inch of Spencer’s cock followed.

Spencer heard himself making incoherent noises and knew that he was near delirium. Of course he didn’t want to hurt Aaron or cause him to gag, but he also wanted to ensure Aaron loved this. It was important that he want to do this again. Spencer kept pressing his hips deeper into the sofa, trying to prevent himself from thrusting into Aaron’s mouth. If he could just take a breath, he could check. Finally, he managed to gasp, “Aaron … pants … zipper.”

Aaron decided Spencer must want him to take his own cock out, but he was reluctant to pause. He could tell Spencer was close. He retreated slightly, keeping the head of Spencer’s cock in his mouth and awkwardly used his left hand to unzip his pants. He quickly freed himself from his boxers and felt cool air against his heated flesh.

“Hard?” Spencer reached down to feel Aaron’s cock, reduced to monosyllables.

“So hard, Spencer. I love sucking your cock. Let me, please.”

Aaron repositioned himself so that his mouth was directly over Spencer’s cock. Aaron took Spencer back into his mouth, this time intentionally taking him a little more deeply every time, using his tongue to caress and tease. He reminded himself to breathe through his nose, which favored him with the tantalizing aroma of Spencer's musk. _One day,_ Aaron thought, _I'll be able to bury my nose here and inhale all that is Spencer._ For now, though Aaron wanted to try tasting - he wanted Spencer's come in his mouth. Aaron used the hand that was gripping the base of Spencer’s cock to stroke it firmly. He knew he had it right when Spencer exhaled and gently began moving his hips in the same rhythm. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt more powerful. Spencer still pulled back as much as he was able when Aaron went down to keep himself from thrusting too far. All too soon, he gripped Aaron’s shoulders with both hands in an attempt to move him off of his cock. Aaron did not budge, and Spencer’s cock jerked, then pulsed in his mouth leaving his come on Aaron’s tongue.

Aaron allowed Spencer to pull him up to him, and Spencer devoured Aaron’s mouth with his own, licking inside and taking some of his own come mixed with Aaron’s flavor to taste. Aaron swallowed the rest. Spencer reached down for Aaron just in time to feel him surge into his hand. Spencer held him tightly and rode it out with him.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

After the two men had washed, Aaron brought them bottles of water, and they lay entwined on the sectional sofa, spent, enjoying one another.

“Aaron, you are amazing. I loved that.”

Aaron was pleased with himself. “I loved it as well,” he said, still surprised how arousing it had been for him. “I wasn’t sure that you were with me.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t for some of the time,” Spencer admitted. “You looked so hot. I couldn’t help myself. I had to resort to reciting the periodic table to keep from embarrassing myself.”

“You mean, ‘Hydrogen, helium…?’” Aaron was skeptical. He’d heard about using baseball stats when he was a teenager, but of course, Spencer would be unusual. 

“Not only the elements,” Spencer explained, “but atomic numbers, atomic weights, electron orbital configurations, and all isotopes, both naturally-occurring and man-made.” He kissed Aaron again. “Don’t you dare underestimate how sexy you are.”

“You have the periodic table committed to memory in its entirety?” Aaron smiled, unbelieving.

“Eidetic memory, perfect recall,” Spencer clarified. “I still haven’t decided if it’s a blessing or a curse, but it’s a part of me - I’ve made my peace with it.

 _Perfect recall. That explains so much,_ Aaron thought. _Blessing or curse, indeed._

“It’s my turn,” Spencer whispered. “I want your come in my mouth this time, Aaron. We are amazing together. Imagine if we ever make it to a bed,” he teased.

Aaron didn’t mean to hesitate. _Jack is next door, sleeping, and completely fine,_ he reasoned. But Aaron was worried about Spencer staying overnight, and he knew if they went upstairs, Spencer would stay. He wanted Spencer to stay. _What if I have a nightmare?_ Aaron thought. He didn’t want Spencer to have to deal with any of the terrors that sometimes visited his sleep.

“I’m sorry, Aaron,” Spencer backpedaled. “I absolutely didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I can go home, and we can get together again later. My number is in your phone now … ” Spencer looked around, wondering where his pants had gone.

Aaron made up his mind quickly. “Wait, Spencer. Stop.” He turned the man to face him, looking intently into those beautiful hazel eyes that appeared somewhat confused and perhaps a little hurt. “It’s not that I don’t want you here, Spencer. I do. I want you here all night.”

Looking deeply into Aaron’s eyes, Spencer saw that Aaron was telling the truth. But there was something else too - Aaron was worried, deeply troubled.

Aaron now saw that Spencer’s eyes conveyed nothing but trust and desire and affection. “Please do stay, but I don’t want you to be surprised if I have a nightmare,” Aaron admitted. “I don’t want to disturb your sleep. They don’t happen very often anymore, but you deserve fair warning.”

Spencer wanted to ask what the nightmares were about. Aaron had not been unaffected earlier this evening by the question he fielded about the serial killer the press had named the Boston Reaper. _Maybe it will help alleviate Aaron’s uncertainties if I offer something in kind about myself,_ Spencer thought. “Aaron, my mother is in a sanitarium in Nevada. I had her committed when I was 18 years old.”

Aaron wanted to know more about Spencer’s mother. _He’d been eighteen? How long had she been ill?_ To Aaron, this seemed like a diversion or a _non sequitur_. He didn’t understand the relevance to their current discussion.

Spencer hugged him. “We can discuss the details another time, Aaron. Actually, it would mean a lot to me if I could share some of it with you, some of my own demons. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about her anymore. I only mention it tonight because I want you to know that you’re not the only one who has nightmares.”

Aaron kissed Spencer tenderly, lips, forehead. “Thank you for trusting me, Spencer.”

Aaron gathered their clothes and led Spencer upstairs to his bedroom.

Spencer asked, “Do you mind if we leave a light on?”

“Of course not,” Aaron replied, flipping the switch on a small lamp on the bureau.

 Much later the two men slept, arms and legs intertwined, so that anyone seeing them would be hard pressed to tell where one man began and the other ended.


	7. galactic nuclei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with much talking - Aaron and Spencer talk about their pasts. Aaron talks to Jack about Spencer. Jessica visits. Aaron and Spencer make dinner and talk more. Aaron and Jessica talk as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am being bold and unwise and updating _sans _beta-approval...I've taken too long (moving, new job), and I don't want anyone to think I've abandoned my story. That means my verb tenses are probably scattered all over the place, never mind countless other problems. If you see anything egregious or have suggestions, leave a comment please, and I'll make it right. Thank you all for reading! ~cLS__

**galactic nuclei** noun

_tight concentrations of stars and gasses found at the innermost regions of a galaxy, theorized by astronomers to surround massive black holes_

Aaron felt Spencer stir beside him. His internal clock told him it was around five a.m., and his bladder demanded relief. He’d not yet lost the practice of keeping a rigid schedule in his ‘retirement’. “Awake?” he asked quietly.

Spencer sleepily murmured, “Aaron,” and snuggled closer, tucking his head beneath Aaron’s shoulder. By all rights, Aaron’s arm should be asleep, and he should be thoroughly uncomfortable. Not at all - he was loath to move. Aaron loved to hear his name on Spencer’s lips. He’d never particularly liked his name - some _pro forma_ nod to a Judeo-Christian heritage that his parents had practiced publicly but had turned into a travesty behind closed doors. Spencer voiced his name as if it were a blessing.

Spencer was entirely too comfortable to move, and Aaron didn’t seem to be in a big hurry. His heart was warm from memories of the previous night. Aaron’s initiative had been a pleasant surprise. _He truly didn’t need instruction - just a willing partner,_ Spencer mused. For a man who had only lived a straight life, he did not seem at all uncomfortable with this new facet of his sexuality. Aaron had focused on pleasing Spencer to the exclusion of everything else. Perhaps the man’s single-mindedness left no room for inhibitions or doubts. Spencer was enthralled from the moment Aaron had dropped to his knees in front of him. He certainly had loved being the center of Aaron’s attention. He rolled his eyes at himself. _Did I actually tell Aaron that I had to recite the periodic table to keep from coming? I am such a geek._ Still, Aaron had let him stay, and this was the nicest possible way to face a morning.

The reciprocity that Spencer intended to offer when they had gone to bed didn’t happen. After they went upstairs, Aaron showed him where the clean towels and toiletries were in the large master bath and handed Spencer a new toothbrush. Then Aaron went about what was evidently his nightly routine, and Spencer followed his lead. By the time Spencer finished in the shower, Aaron was dressed in fresh boxers and a clean white t-shirt. They brushed and flossed, and Aaron offered Spencer his choice of night clothes - Spencer slipped into light flannel sleep pants and an FBI t-shirt, thinking for a moment what his mother would think of sporting the logo. They crawled into bed and wrapped themselves in one another as if they’d been doing it for years. Spencer marveled that they could spend what seemed like endless hours making out like teenagers, desire simmering, becoming urgent, then waning into something sweet and light, the cycle then beginning all over again.

Aaron had seemed content, and Spencer saw no logical reason to press for more. He thought they were well-matched in the sense that they were both patient men. Besides, brushing your teeth together was much more intimate than some sex Spencer could barely remember. It was all so normal, and in his experience, which had been anything but normal, that made it incredibly arousing. Spencer wondered how long he’d been woolgathering, finally remembering Aaron’s question: _Was he awake?_ “I’m getting there.” He turned so he could rub his stubbly cheek against Aaron’s own coarse, dark shadow, doing his best to imitate a cat. “I don’t usually need much sleep, but I’m just so comfortable here that moving seems like an incredibly stupid move.”

Aaron’s eyes smiled at him, and he said, “Well you’re not stupid.” Then he kissed him leisurely before it crossed his mind to wonder about his morning breath. _Should he have brushed his teeth first thing?_ Aaron considered that he would have with Haley, but the rules with men, or at least with Spencer, seemed to be different. The past night had been profound for Aaron. He was still coming to terms with how much he’d needed Spencer, how he had truly loved using his mouth to bring him to orgasm - and how natural it had seemed. No awkward moments, no second thoughts. He’d just felt an overwhelming need to give to the man, and he found his own pleasure in giving. It was completely outside his experience.

Aaron hated that he kept comparing Haley to Spencer, but in his defense, he really didn’t have any other frame of reference. Of course he’d enjoyed making love to Haley. That said, he had never been absolutely certain that he had pleased her. He had often felt as if he somehow fell short. She had said all of the right things, naturally, but he’d always harbored doubts. It was always possible that he was projecting her feelings about his work into their bedroom. He had the sense that she was not comfortable discussing their sex life, however, so he had not pressed the matter. And before long, they were sleeping in separate beds in any case.

Aaron decided that Kinsey had likely been right, and if someone needed a label for him, then he was bisexual. He’d been secretly relieved that Spencer had not insisted on taking his turn like he’d mentioned downstairs. Aaron was sure they would get there eventually, sooner rather than later if the pace they’d set was any indication. However, he was self-conscious about his scars. He hoped they didn’t turn Spencer off completely. While Aaron was in excellent physical shape, he was all-too-aware that Spencer was more than ten years his junior. And the explanation that the scars would require would kill any mood.

“How did you sleep, Aaron?” Spencer broke into his thoughts.

Aaron hand moved to Spencer’s hip of its own volition. “Mmm..Really well. I like waking up with you.” He leaned closer and kissed him again, using a hand to caress his beautiful face. “How about you?”

“The same,” Spencer replied. “It’s easy to be with you.”

Aaron hugged him. “Do you have anywhere you need to be this morning?” he asked.

Spencer’s eyes cleared as he reviewed his day. “No, I’m free until this afternoon - it’s my seminar day. We can meet at the coffee house if you want. That’s where I usually go after seminars.”

Aaron mused, “That means I first saw you a week ago today.” _How life can change in an instant,_ Aaron thought. He reminded himself that the changes can cut either way. “It’s still early. I need the bathroom, but then I’ll go make us coffee and bring it up. Help yourself to anything you need,” he offered. “Jack will be ready for school by 8 or so - I like to walk with him.” Spencer readily agreed and rolled over into the warm space Aaron vacated.

When Aaron returned with mugs of coffee, Spencer was back in bed. Aaron could tell he’d moved because the sheets and pillows were neatened, and Aaron’s ‘side’ was turned down for him. The previous night, Spencer had claimed a side, automatically leaving Aaron the side nearest the door. Aaron never ceased to be amazed by Spencer’s intuitive nature.

Aaron wondered if some people were meant to be part of a couple. He remembered a conversation he’d had with Rossi not long after Haley had taken Jack and left. He and Rossi had been sharing a hotel room in some city, on some case, each in his own double bed. Aaron thought it was interesting that he could recite cities, crimes, offenders, and their psychopathology at will. However, many of his personal memories seemed to have all blended into an endless stream of long flights and anonymous hotel rooms. Aaron had taken the bed nearest the door and kept to one side, the files he was studying arranged on the other. Rossi, however, was in the middle of his bed, settling down to sleep for a few hours before the team met back at the local station. Aaron had asked, “How long does it take until you’re used to sleeping alone and can enjoy having the whole bed to yourself?” Perhaps the man who’d dealt with divorce three times would have some wisdom to impart.

Rossi had replied with his usual tongue-in-cheek, “Isn’t having the whole bed to yourself more usual than not?” But then he advised Aaron to toss the extra pillows and move to the middle. “It will take a few weeks, but eventually it will become a habit.”

Aaron gave the change a try, but he didn’t feel comfortable. After a few nights of poor sleep, feeling as if he had too much room, he’d reverted to sleeping on his normal side. Dave never mentioned it again. He could imagine Spencer and Rossi meeting - he was sure the two men would get along famously. Spencer, given his active and inquisitive mind, would bombard Rossi with questions, ideas, and theories. In turn, Rossi would be able to hold forth, assuming his expert persona and sharing stories that effectively illustrated his points with good humor.

Spencer regarded the coffee warily because he didn’t see Aaron holding any sugar.

“Just try it,” Aaron tried to sound long-suffering, but he couldn’t stop his warm grin. “I’ll bring you more if I didn’t get it right.”

Spencer rearranged himself so that he was resting against the headboard. He took a cautious sip, and smiled when the hot, sweet liquid was sublime. “Perfect.” He patted the empty spot beside him, and Aaron carefully joined him on the bed without spilling his mug. He was in the mood to talk. After only a week, Spencer was becoming an important part of Aaron’s life, and he wanted Spencer to be in Jack’s life. He was probably getting ahead of himself, but he had to be cautious about who he allowed in. He trusted his instincts, but he still had questions.

“Spencer, is your mother your only family?” Aaron began.

“Well, she’s the only family that matters,” Spencer hesitated. “I write to her every day. Sometimes I bring her gifts or send her packages. Books are always good choices - she was a professor of literature.” He smiled slightly. “They say she still holds classes regularly in the sanitarium.”

“And your father?” Aaron asked. _Damn_ , he thought. _This isn’t an interrogation. Surely I can manage to be conversational._

Spencer was quiet for a moment, then he answered softly, as if he were re-living a memory from long ago. “My father left us when I was ten. I haven’t had any contact with him since.” He tried to shrug nonchalantly. “I have no idea where he is or even if he’s still alive.”

Aaron heard the underlying pain. It was easy to picture Spencer, a lanky ten-year-old boy, intelligent enough to fully understand exactly the ways his life was changing, yet powerless to do anything about it. Aaron took Spencer’s nearly empty mug and placed it with his own on the bedside table. He took the man in his arms and held him tightly. “He was an idiot and didn’t know what he was giving up. You’re precious.” Aaron brushed Spencer’s hair away from his face. He thought about the resources at his disposal. “If you ever do decide you want to find him, I could …,” but Spencer cut him off shortly.

“No.”

 _So the subject of Spencer’s father was closed,_ Aaron thought, _at least for now_. “You must get your intelligence from your mother.”

“Probably,” Spencer agreed. “She certainly encouraged me. Even when she was too sick to leave her room, I would come to her, and she would read to me.” He hesitated a moment. He didn’t feel ready for full disclosure yet. He didn’t want Aaron to see him as potentially damaged or a freak or a coward. _Besides, Aaron must certainly be aware that schizophrenia can have a genetic component,_ he reasoned. The overwhelming guilt he felt at not visiting his mother was even more damning. Spencer wryly commented, “If you ever want to hear 15th-century love poems, I’m your man.”

“Yes, you are,” Aaron responded, kissing him deeply, feeling possessive, protective. Spencer turned toward him, opening himself to offer more. Aaron groaned and took Spencer into his arms, kissing his way along Spencer’s jaw, nibbling at his earlobe before moving lower to his neck. Spencer naturally lifted his chin to make room for him. Aaron could feel the steady beat of Spencer’s pulse under his lips. Aaron pulled Spencer closer to him, turning him in his arms so that Spencer’s back pressed against his chest. Aaron wrapped an arm around the younger man and held Spencer’s tawny hair aside to place more kisses at the nape of his neck. Aaron felt ignorant. He considered himself well-read, but to the best of his knowledge, Chaucer felt too early, while Byron was definitely too late for the period. _Who was writing in the 15th century besides religious fanatics?_ he wondered. He didn’t want to ask. He could do some research - or ask Garcia.

“Aaron, will you tell me more about your nightmares?” Spencer’s mild question interrupted Aaron’s reverie.

A few long moments passed during which Spencer thought that Aaron might not answer, that he’d overstepped the albeit fuzzy lines of their relationship. Everything was so new, but what he and Aaron shared was incredibly good - and rare - in his experience. He wanted to be with this man. He had no definite plans for the upcoming year yet, but when he considered his future, Aaron and Jack were there, somehow.

“Do they have something to do with your reasons for retiring early?” Spencer persisted quietly.

Aaron held him more tightly. _Fair is fair_ , he thought. _And he’d certainly asked his share of personal questions this morning._ He simply didn’t know where to begin - perhaps with Haley. “Haley and I separated when Jack was about three. I agreed to an uncontested divorce with the only condition that I was allowed to see Jack whenever I was able. The FBI - the BAU especially - is hard on marriages and families. My team traveled extensively, often with very little notice. She resented the time the job took away from our family - rightfully so.”

“I expect you saw atrocities that were difficult to leave at work,” Spencer commented. He didn’t have much direct experience with families, Josephine and David being exemplars for his ‘normal’, but he wanted to encourage Aaron to continue talking. He could tell that Aaron was a loyal man. It would devastate him if were unable to meet his commitments.

“That was certainly some of it,” Aaron agreed. “Haley didn’t want to hear about that part of my life. She had married a prosecutor with regular hours. Before she left, I was considering a transfer within the FBI to white collar crimes. That job would have had more regular hours and given me more time at home with her and Jack.”

“That didn’t work out?” Spencer was certain any department would have been thrilled to have Aaron.

“It might have, but several things happened at once,” Aaron wanted to be clear but concise. The politics of that time weren’t particularly relevant, but Spencer deserved to know everything about him and Haley considering the direction he hoped their relationship was going. “Before my transfer was processed, I was called in for one last case. Haley gave me an ultimatum. I probably could have stayed home with her and Jack, but my team was shorthanded in the field - women were being murdered in Milwaukee. Aside from that, I was finally sure that she was having an affair. By that point, I don’t think I believed our marriage was salvageable anyway, so I went to Milwaukee. She and Jack were gone when I returned.”

Spencer turned over and kissed Aaron, “God, Aaron. I am so sorry.” He had been right that Aaron’s sense of duty and over-developed responsibility were at the root of this. “It must have been terrible to be torn between your work and your family. You had to have loved your work - you made a difference.” Spencer winced that he’d used the past tense. He imagined Aaron was no longer sure of his role in the world, post-retirement. He went on anyway, “And learning about the infidelity. How did you handle the pain, the anger?” Spencer not once entertained the idea that Aaron might have strayed as well. The man had an unwavering sense of right and wrong. It simply didn’t compute for him.

Aaron loved looking at Spencer, especially into his eyes. He appreciated seeing warmth and understanding there, but no judgment. “It was terrible,” he agreed, “but I could see her side of it.” Aaron thought of the hangups when he answered their home phone, the calls to her mobile that went unanswered if he were within hearing distance, the calls she left the room to take. “I think it was her way of retaliating. To Haley, I chose the BAU over our marriage countless times - in that sense, I betrayed her first. Anger seemed futile. I was too tired to be actively angry. I think I channeled it into my work. Aside from occasional visits with Jack, work was all I had left.”

“ _Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned_ ,” Spencer quoted.

Aaron chuckled and rocked Spencer in his arms, “How did the Buddha end up in my bed?!”

Spencer loved that this man understood him more often than not. _How unusual was that?_ David had, but theirs was a different sort of relationship altogether.

“It feels nice to be understood,” Aaron echoed Spencer’s thoughts.

“So then Haley died after your divorce, right?” Spencer continued.

Aaron grew quiet; he had allowed himself to forget the original question. His nightmares were not about his separation, Haley’s infidelity, or his divorce. Spencer patiently waited, but Aaron knew he wouldn’t push - and that gentle acceptance settled the matter for Aaron. He forced the words past the lump in his throat. “A serial killer targeted my family - he murdered Haley.” He softly added, “Jack was there. The nightmares are almost always about that time.”

There was so much he wasn’t saying, so Aaron struggled to explain. “Spencer, I’m not trying to be evasive. Eventually, you’ll have to know the whole story. But I don’t _want_ you to know this because it’s evil, pure evil. I don’t like the idea of that touching you.” Aaron gave a long sigh, asking, “Can we table this for now? It has been a lot for one morning.”

At the words ‘serial killer’, Spencer immediately recalled the woman whose question about the Boston Reaper had caused Aaron discomfort. Spencer was likely the only one attuned enough to notice; Aaron was a pro. He decided that he would let it go for now. It had been a long time since Spencer had considered questions of good and evil. As a scientist first, he usually described himself as an atheist, which did not leave any room for forces that could not be measured. He would need to think about it again to try to understand what Aaron intended. For now, Spencer kissed Aaron thoroughly, wanting desperately to communicate all of the affection and respect he felt for this strong man, how much support he wanted to be for him. _What has has he seen? What has he been through?_ “Aaron, you take as much time as you need. Please remember, though, that I’m stronger than I look. You don’t have to protect me.”

 _That’s what I do_ , Aaron protested silently. Rather than speaking, he just held Spencer close for a few more minutes, burying his face in his, breathing him in.

“It’s almost time for me to get Jack for school,” Aaron said eventually, realizing how long they’d been talking. The somber mood from their disclosures had passed for the time being. “And that reminds me that there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

Spencer was curious, “Anything.” _Anything for you,_ his mind appended automatically.

“Do you mind if I speak with Jack about you, about you and me, I mean?” Aaron asked. “I want the two of you to get to know one another. I’d like it if all three of us could spend some time together. We’re all going to the museum on Saturday anyway. If that’s something you’d want, that is … ”

Spencer cut him off with a kiss. “Yes,” he told him firmly. Holding Aaron’s head and looking into his eyes, he saw this beautiful, brave man, and he would do anything to remove all traces of uncertainty from his visage. As far as Spencer was concerned, this was an easy question. “Definitely.”

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

After Jack’s school day was over, Aaron decided that he would treat Jack and himself to some ice cream. It was a beautiful day for early fall in New England. The sun was warm in a brilliant blue sky, but there was a hint of chill in the breeze. Some of the leaves were beginning to show the first signs of color. Aaron knew that within the month, there would be a riot of reds, oranges, and yellows splashed across their city. It would likely be even better in the mountains because there had been plenty of rainfall during the summer. Maybe they could take a day or two to drive through New Hampshire or up the Maine coast.

“Is Belgium too far to visit, Daddy?” Jack was unhappy that his new friends would be returning to Bruges in a few days.

Aaron considered the question seriously. There was no reason he and Jack couldn’t travel some when they did not have school commitments. “No, buddy, it isn’t _too_ far, but it is a very long way.”

“Is it much further than Virginia?” Jack asked. “Aunt Jessica is coming to visit from Virginia next week.”

“Yes, it’s a lot further than your Aunt Jessica, Jack.” Aaron made a rough estimate. “Belgium is about ten times the distance that DC is. You have to take an airplane across the Atlantic Ocean.” Jack knew that his aunt liked the train ride from DC to Boston instead of flying. Aaron thought that it was very good that Jack seemed to be able to keep track of their calendars; Jessica’s visit had slipped his mind entirely. She was a wonderful aunt to Jack, and he wanted Jack to have that connection with his mother. He was certain that Jack would appreciate it even more when he was older.

Jack was concentrating intently on his cup of strawberry ice cream with sprinkles. Aaron didn’t like to see him unhappy. Hoping to cheer his son, he said, “We’re still going to the science museum with Marc and Melissa this weekend, so we can look forward to that before they leave.

Jack nodded, but he was still glum. “Yeah, I love the science museum, but Marc and Melissa leave the very next night. I don’t understand why they leave late at night - they say they will lose six hours going home - how do you lose time, Daddy?”

It was as good an opening as Aaron thought he would ever get, and he did want to see what his son thought about Spencer, specifically the idea of spending more time with Spencer. “I think it has something to do with time zones, buddy, but I probably can’t explain it very well. Maybe you could ask Spencer the next time we see him?”

“Spencer’s coming with us to the museum!” Jack remembered and was thrilled by the idea.

“He’s looking forward to it. He wants to give us his own tour of the observatory and planetarium.” Aaron leaned in to whisper, “Just between you and me, I don’t think Spencer trusts the museum staff to provide us with accurate and up-to-date information.”

Jack giggled. “Spencer is really smart, Daddy, but he’s fun too. I hope that one day he’ll teach me some magic tricks.”

“I’m glad you like Spencer, Jack. There was actually something I wanted to discuss with you.”

Aaron took another bite of his mint chocolate chip cone, obviously stalling.

“About Spencer?” Jack probed, impatient, his mind still on his friends leaving.

Aaron winced and felt himself blushing; he was raising an expert interrogator of his own. Surely he could find words that a six-year-old would understand. He settled on saying “Spencer and I like each other, Jack, and I want to know how you feel about him spending some time with us. How do you feel about getting to know him yourself?”

“Like boyfriends, you mean? Do you want to get married? Will I have two daddies?”

“Whoa, buddy. Slow down for a minute.” _How had Aaron lost control of the conversation so quickly?_ He double-checked that his son was still only six while he attempted to regroup. “Yes, Jack, Spencer and I do like one another like boyfriends, but we’ve only known him a week. It’s much too soon to think about anything besides getting to know him better. How …?”

“He has to like me too,” Jack informed his father wisely. “Stacie in my class has two daddies, and they seem nice, Jack continued. “She’s adopted and very pretty - and smart too. Some older kids were saying mean things about her and her daddies,” he frowned, “but Ms. Liz explained that families include all the people who love you, not just the people who had you as a baby.”

Aaron felt new appreciation for Ms. Liz. “That’s exactly right, Jack.” And speaking of families, he had an idea. “You know, I am sure that Garcia could help us add Marc and Melissa to our contact list so you can make video calls and email one another. That way the three of you could stay in touch in between visits.”

“That’s a great idea, Daddy! You think of everything!” And he was around the table, hugging Aaron, planting a sticky strawberry kiss on his cheek. “Garcia’s our family too!”

Aaron just held on. _God, he loved this child._

After Jack pulled away, Aaron checked his watch. Spencer’s seminar would be over soon. “Let’s walk, Jack. We may be able to catch Spencer at the coffee shop and ask him to explain time zones to us.”

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

“Aunt Jessica!” Jack broke away from Aaron, sprinting across the platform toward his aunt who was disembarking from her train at the station. _He’s either at full speed, or he’s asleep,_ Aaron mused.

Jessica crouched and hugged Jack until the boy squirmed. “You keep growing, Jack! You have to stop that.”

“I can’t help it because Daddy never lets me stay up late. He says that we grow when we sleep. Do you think that’s true?” Jack sounded skeptical.

Commandeering her rolling bag, Aaron kissed her cheek. “Welcome, Aunt Jessica. We’re very glad you could visit us.”

They loaded themselves and her bag into a taxi. Although he still kept a car in the garage at home - a black SUV, naturally - Aaron avoided driving unless he was actually leaving the city. Parking and traffic were headaches he didn’t need. They could walk or take a subway, bus, or taxi almost anywhere they needed to go. Aaron decided that he didn’t miss having a jet at his disposal, and he’d spent entirely too much time in black SUVs.

Jessica visited with Jack and Aaron every few months, often enough that she was comfortable staying in the guest suite upstairs, and they were close to having a routine. “Do you have any special plans for your visit, Jessica?” Aaron asked.

“Nothing important, Aaron, except spending time with you and Jack, of course,” she replied. “There are always a few friends I can call if you two have other plans. And I love visiting the art museums.” Jessica smiled warmly, and Aaron heart lurched at the resemblance to Haley. Both sisters shared the trait that their genuine smiles were reflected in their eyes. Beyond their physical characteristics, they had many mannerisms in common as well. “There’s always shopping, if all else fails,” she added mischievously.

“I won’t be the man who comes between you and Newbury Street,” Aaron gave a mock shudder, mentioning the well-known shopping district of upscale and trendy boutiques, galleries, and restaurants. “Now that Jack is in school, you’ll have your mornings free. I have a lecture to prepare for next week, but that shouldn’t take an inordinate amount of time,” Aaron mentioned.

“Are you enjoying lecturing?” Jessica asked.

“I suppose I am.” Aaron thought about his first one - it had been well-received. “I want to stay sharp, and with Jack in school, I was in danger of spending too much time at home alone.” Aaron remembered, “Ah, right. I should give you fair warning that Ms. Josephine expects to have dinner with us one evening while you’re here. She’s excited to meet you.” The older woman had always had some commitment or another during Jessica’s previous visits.

“This is your crazy neighbor lady?” Jessica teased.

“No!” Aaron exclaimed with a quick glance at Jack, fervently hoping the child wouldn’t repeat their conversation verbatim to Ms. Josephine. But he smiled because sometimes that was exactly how he thought of her. “She’s our gracious and beloved, yet somewhat eccentric, neighbor,” he rephrased.

Aaron recalled how the woman had cornered him during the science museum excursion. Evidently Jack had spoken very highly of his Aunt Jessica, and Aaron ‘was to have a dinner party to introduce them during her visit’. As was frequently the case with Josephine, Aaron did not have a ready excuse handy and found himself agreeing with the woman. She steamrolled ahead, making suggestions for vegetables that were currently in season. Aaron was sorely tempted to simply order Chinese for all of them, if only to see the look on her face. He must have appeared in some distress, because Spencer, well-used to Josephine’s antics, had laughed at Aaron’s discomfiture and softly told him that he would be happy to help. _Perhaps they would manage this without calling upon Garcia for guidance,_ Aaron thought.

“I’ll look forward to it,” Jessica said, then turned her attention to her nephew. “Jack, are you playing soccer this fall?” The rest of the taxi ride was occupied with Jack’s narration of his adventures with Ms. Josephine’s grandchildren and playing soccer in the park with the older kids.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

The following Saturday, Jessica and Jack planned to spend the day at the aquarium. Given enough energy, they would make a side trip to Faneuil Hall, where invariably a variety of street performers would be pleasing the crowds. As soon as Jack and Jessica left for the day, Ms. Josephine appeared with herbs freshly cut from her garden. Aaron took the proffered rosemary and what he thought might be thyme _,_ and for a change, left her at a loss when he asked her to come around six for dinner. Aaron and Spencer had already decided that evening would be the best time - he and Spencer could prepare the meal together without having anyone else underfoot.

For the two men, the past week had been excruciating. They had not managed to find any time to spend alone together. When Jack was in school, Aaron either visited with Jessica or, if she went out, worked on upcoming lectures. Spencer was frequently asleep for at least part of that time. In the evenings, Aaron joined in some of the games with his son and sister-in-law - he liked the board games best, which seemed more interactive. Eventually, however, he was forced to cheer for Jessica as Jack decimated her in Marvel™ Super Heroes. On another occasion, Jessica pulled out some photo albums and shared some remembrances of Haley with Jack. Aaron wanted to be close in case he was needed, but he made sure he did not intrude. What he did hear led him to believe that Jessica was relating stories from their childhood, most of them unfamiliar to Aaron.

Jessica’s visit notwithstanding, Spencer had work of his own. Except for his seminar and office hours, his schedule was much more irregular than Aaron’s. Aaron knew that Spencer tried to spend time in the observatory on clear nights. Sometimes the weather cooperated, but oftentimes it did not. On those evenings, Spencer still worked into the wee hours on calculations and conferred with friends and colleagues both about his own work and about theirs. Some were working in Hawai’i - those calls were frequently in the wee hours of the morning on the east coast. When Aaron had expressed concern that Spencer wasn’t able to work enough, Spencer assured Aaron that the clear winter skies would leave him plenty of time for his observations. He mentioned something about them spending the night on a beach in December to watch the Geminid meteor shower.

When Spencer wasn’t lost in the stars, he and Aaron had managed a couple of steamy late night phone calls. Aaron laughed at himself. Those phone calls reminded him of his adolescence, although he supposed they had progressed from landlines to mobiles. They shared animated conversations interspersed with poignant silences. He felt the thrill low in his belly of having the object of his affection on the other end of the call, in addition to a well-remembered reluctance to end the call. When they did finally say their good-nights, Aaron spent the time before sleep claimed him reviewing everything that was said, hoping to find nuances to help him better understand Spencer. As enjoyable as it was, Aaron was essentially frustrated, and he had the sense that Spencer felt the same way.

Aside from those late night calls, their preferred communication was text messages. Throughout the week, they had discussed and debated the menu for their dinner, ultimately deciding on some traditional, seasonal New England fare. They traded links to some recipes of favorites, discarding any that appeared overly difficult or required too much preparation in advance. Spencer agreed to shop for wine and fresh produce and to be at Aaron’s by eleven on Saturday as long as Aaron handled the butcher and cheese shop.

Aaron was storing the last of his grocery items that needed refrigeration when he heard Spencer at the door. Opening the door, he took the reusable canvas bags from Spencer and set them aside. Then, holding Spencer’s face in his hands, Aaron looked his fill, wanting to commit everything about that beautiful face to his memory - clear hazel eyes, more green than blue today, aristocratic cheekbones, hair highlighted with every shade of brown. It was a little too long to be fashionable and unruly locks fell across his face begging Aaron to comb them aside. He brushed a kiss across Spencer’s lips, barely touching, then again, harder. Next he used his tongue to ask that Spencer admit him so he could feast on that sensuous mouth.

Spencer’s hunger matched Aaron’s. While Aaron fumbled to close and lock the door behind him, Spencer quickly turned them, trading places, and urgently pressed him against the door. Spencer’s mouth devoured Aaron’s as if he might never have another meal. Aaron caressed Spencer’s arms, which were planted against the door on either side of him, effectively pinning him in place. Aaron wondered vaguely how long his knees would hold out against the onslaught, but ultimately he decided that the floor wouldn’t actually be a bad place. Spencer must have read Aaron’s mind because he pressed the length of his long body along Aaron’s, and Aaron let the door take some of his weight while he focused on Spencer. Aaron wrapped his arms around the man, trying to get closer still.

Spencer pulled back some. He caressed Aaron’s face, stroking the back of his hand against Aaron’s flushed cheek, then his temple. Tracing Aaron’s now kiss-swollen lips with a finger. “I missed you,” he simply said. Aaron felt emboldened. He pressed his cock, hard and ready like the adolescent he had just been remembering, against Spencer’s own erection.

Spencer responded, groaning, pressing himself against Aaron to demonstrate that he was similarly affected. “Aaron, you’re killing me here,” he pleaded. “No way can we do this now.” Spencer laughed at Aaron’s look of profound disappointment. He certainly felt the same. “Think. Kitchen. Dinner in six hours. Jack. Jack’s aunt. And we should probably actually talk somewhere in there too.” Spencer kissed Aaron again. “Maybe we can find some time for ourselves after everyone else is in bed,” Spencer suggested. “I’m dying to tell you about what I discovered …”

Spencer rescued the easily forgotten grocery bags, and Aaron trailed after him into the kitchen, where the man proceeded to orchestrate a dinner for five as easily as he produced coins from behind children’s ears.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron saw that Spencer had brought several bottles of a nice Sauvignon blanc, and Spencer nodded his approval when Aaron put them into the refrigerator to chill.

Spencer then made a detour to the media room for music. He found Glenn Miller’s _Carnegie Hall Concert_ and soon the strains of classic big band provided background for their cooking project. He told Aaron that he should handle chopping and peeling.

They worked companionably side-by-side for much of the afternoon. Aaron found that he and Spencer were alike in that they both liked to clean as they cooked so that the kitchen wasn’t a complete wreck at the end of a meal. Their bodies found reasons to touch one another. Aaron’s fingers made their way to the curve at the small of Spencer’s back when he reached above him into the cabinet to get a mixing bowl. Spencer’s hand brushed the back of Aaron’s when Aaron passed the cutting board to him that held the freshly chopped herbs. Spencer soundly kissed Aaron for his efforts, and Aaron wondered if Spencer thought of their project as an exercise in positive reinforcement, as if he needed additional motivation to spend time with the man.

When the rosemary-thyme-lemon chicken and acorn squash were in the oven baking, and the baked beans made with fresh molasses were on the stove top simmering in a large pot, Spencer turned to Aaron and asked, “How do you think we should handle this?"

Aaron was puzzled.

“Have you mentioned me to Jessica?” Spencer asked.

Aaron sighed. “No, no I haven’t. She knows your name, of course, because Jack chatters about you constantly.” Spencer smiled at that even though he hadn’t seen the boy since the planetarium and observatory outing. He adored his active mind and non-stop questions.

“I’m Josephine’s friend, more like her surrogate grandson, really. I’m fairly certain she’s had us paired since she first met you - she was only biding her time - and she certainly isn’t subtle about playing the role of Yenta now.” Spencer continued, “Couple that with the conversation you had with Jack last week, Aaron, and it’s just a matter of time before it comes out.”

 _Interesting choice of words, Spencer,_ he thought to himself, and he tried again. “I mean to say that if Jessica hears about us from you, she may be more likely to accept us than if the news is sprung upon her unsuspectingly over dinner. From what you’ve said, I imagine she’ll be shocked. Not only are you seeing someone for the first time since her sister’s death, but that someone is male.” He went on, “It’s highly likely that she’s only ever thought of you as heterosexual. She may very well have concerns about how this could affect Jack.”

As usual, Spencer was perceptive. Aaron felt torn and somewhat resentful.

Spencer pulled him into a close embrace, lightly kissing him on the forehead. “What are you thinking?”

“I think you’re right as usual,” Aaron sighed. “If you will keep Jack entertained for a bit, I will speak with Jessica when they return. He’ll need to change and clean up for dinner, anyway.” At Spencer’s nod, Aaron asked, “Are you angry with me that I don’t want to share you yet, Spencer? I am not ashamed - I _refuse_ to be,” he emphasized, “but our relationship feels too new to me, too precious. We should be able to savor these early days, to have some privacy, not spend them managing other people’s expectations.”

Spencer hugged him again, this time kissing him full on the lips, lingering, trying to put all of his feelings for the man into one kiss. “You make perfect sense, Aaron, and I feel exactly the same way. These are halcyon days for us.” Then Spencer tethered Aaron to their reality. “But we don’t really have the luxury of only considering ourselves.” Spencer shrugged philosophically, turning away from Aaron to rummage in the refrigerator for the salad greens. “I’ve known from almost the very beginning that you and Jack are a package deal - I would _not_ have it any other way.” Spencer wanted that point made perfectly clear. “But that means we have obligations beyond ourselves to the rest of Jack’s family.”

Spencer again demonstrated to Aaron his insight and maturity. Aaron wondered at its origin. It wasn’t only his a result of his intellect. Aaron knew many intelligent people, albeit nowhere near Spencer’s level, who tended to be obtuse about anything beyond their primary focus. Rather, Aaron thought that Spencer had needed to grow up too quickly and had been forced to assume too much responsibility too early - all without a father in the home. Aaron hadn’t been looking for this; he hadn’t been looking for anything, yet somehow he’d found someone who understood him and still wanted to be with him.

Spencer could see that Aaron was still concerned. “Give Jessica some credit,” he encouraged. “You both have the same priority - Jack. That’s a bond that is likely strong enough to withstand something as trivial as an alternative lifestyle.” Spencer grinned and indicated the apples - “Peel! We still need a dessert.”

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

The men heard Jessica and Jack coming in just as their apple strudel of a sort was ready. They could warm the stewed apples covered with a crunchy granola topping while they had salad and dinner. Spencer gave Aaron’s hand a reassuring squeeze and lightly brushed his lips across Aaron’s cheek. _He’s lending me his strength and making sure I know I have his support,_ Aaron thought. It was a novel experience for Aaron. He was certainly accustomed to being the one upon whom others depended.

“Daddy! Spencer!” Jack greeted them both enthusiastically. Aaron scooped him up and onto his hip, giving him a hug before he could launch into a play-by-play of his day’s adventures. He was already almost too big for this.

“Jessica, I’d like you to meet Spencer Reid. He’s a good friend of Ms. Josephine, and if tonight’s dinner is edible, we owe it to him.” Jessica held out her hand to Spencer.

“Spencer, please meet Jessica Brooks, Jack’s aunt. I’m sure you’ve heard all about her from this one.” He ruffled Jack’s hair.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jessica,” Spencer said, accepting her hand.

“Likewise,” Jessica responded.

Aaron put Jack down and held his shoulders lightly so he wouldn’t dash away somewhere. “Jack, Spencer is going to help you get ready for dinner. Ms. Josephine should be over around six - put on some fresh clothes too.”

“I can … ,” Jessica began, but Aaron interrupted her. Seeing that Spencer had Jack well in hand, Aaron said, “If you don’t mind, Jess, let’s have a drink before dinner. Then I promise to let you get cleaned up as well.”

Jessica was quiet as Aaron uncorked the first bottle and poured a glass of Sauvignon blanc for her and a Glenmorangie for himself. He then escorted her into his study, pushing the door closed behind them.

“OK, Aaron, now you have me worried. What’s going on? Are you alright? Is something wrong with Jack?” Jessica demanded.

Aaron decided that Jack’s tendency toward serial questions without waiting for responses must come from the Brooks’ family. He tried a reassuring smile, but even to himself it felt strained. “Nothing is wrong, Jessica. In fact, I hope you’ll think it’s good news. I just wanted us to have an opportunity to speak privately.” He indicated the seating area with deeply-cushioned reading chairs, “Please, let’s sit.”

Aaron took a sip of his drink while he gathered his thoughts. He could still feel the ghost of Spencer’s hand on his own where he had squeezed. _Yes, he’s worth this,_ Aaron reminded himself. _We are worth this._

Aaron began, feeling as if he were presenting a case to a particularly difficult judge. He began by saying, “Jessica, this is important to me, and I’m worried about how you will react. Will you promise to let me tell you all I have to say? Then I promise I will do my best to answer any questions you have.”

Jessica nodded and took a sip of her wine as if to fortify herself.

“Jack and I have done a lot of healing while we have been here. He is a happy child now who can remember Haley and how much she loved him without always associating it with the trauma of her death. I credit you with much of that, Jessica. You do a great job of remembering Haley with him, much better than I could do, given how our relationship was at the end.”

Jessica said, “I try. I want him to remember his mother.”

“First and foremost, I always want you to be a part of Jack’s life, of our lives, because you’re the only person who can do that for him. We love you, and I hope that being close to Jack helps to keep Haley alive in your heart as well,” Aaron reiterated.

When Jessica was quiet, Aaron went on. “I’m healing too, Jessica, and you deserve to know that I’ve met someone special.”

Jessica attempted a smile. “That’s good, Aaron. I think Haley would have wanted you to find someone to make you happy.”

Aaron held up a palm to forestall any more comments. “Spencer Reid makes me incredibly happy, Jessica,” Aaron decided it was best to be direct. “Although we’ve only known one another a few weeks, Jack knows that we’re dating. We thought it would be better if you heard the news from me first before Jack or Josephine mentioned us.”

Jessica was stunned; Aaron’s use of the plural pronouns ‘we’ and ‘us’ did not escape her. _Spencer Reid? A man? A much younger man? Aaron was in love with a man?_ Jessica didn’t consider herself homophobic, even so, she didn’t think she actually knew any gay people except in passing. And Aaron had been _married_ to her sister. He had _fathered_ a son with her sister!

Aaron could read Jessica’s thoughts as they moved across her face as easily as if she’d spoken them aloud. He decided to address them in turn.

“I realize that you’re probably surprised that I’m involved with another man,” he began. “It took me by surprise too, I promise. Spencer may be younger than I am chronologically, but he is wise beyond his years. And he’s brilliant - he has three doctorates.” Aaron was very proud of all Spencer had accomplished in his short but difficult life.

Jessica couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “But Aaron, you’re not gay. You’re the most heterosexual man I think I know.”

“No, you’re partially correct. I don’t believe I am gay. I am probably bisexual if you need a label. You may or may not know that Haley was the only woman - the only person - I was ever involved with before Spencer. I loved her from a young age, and I didn’t spend any of my youth considering any other options.”

Aaron wondered if Jessica heard the underlying implication, even though he hadn’t intended it. He had always thought Haley must have discussed her affair with her sister. She had certainly discussed their marriage, and Jessica was her most usual confidante.

“As for whether or not I ‘appear’ heterosexual - you should know better than that,” he lightly chided. “You’re falling victim to stereotypes. You cannot tell someone’s sexual orientation by looking. Surely you know that.”

Jessica nodded. “I do. And you and Spencer are in love?”

“It’s too soon to say, Jessica. I do know that he’s the first man for whom I’ve ever felt this kind of attraction. I know that we have deep feelings for one another. I trust him, and I think it could grow into love. We both want to pursue it.”

“But what about Jack?” she protested. “Surely as young as Spencer is, he doesn’t want to have responsibility for a child Jack’s age.” She seemed to be searching for reasons to oppose their relationship now.

“Nothing changes with Jack.” Aaron was firm on this point. “He and Spencer like one another, and they are getting to know one another too. Spencer is well aware that Jack and I are a team.”

Jessica was quiet again. Aaron thought she was coming around to acceptance, but he could not be completely sure that she wasn’t marshaling more arguments in opposition to him and Spencer.

Finally, she said, “As long as he makes you happy, Aaron, and as long as Jack is well-loved, I’ll support you.”

Aaron’s relief was palpable but short-lived.

“Goodness knows you’ll need it when your mother and my parents hear about this.”


	8. Hubble's law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jessica has dinner with the Hotchner men, Josephine, and Spencer and where Spencer researches Foyet and confronts Aaron...

  **Hubble** **’s law**

_the law of physics that states that the farther a galaxy is from us, the faster it is moving away from us_

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Dinner was an interesting affair, and not nearly as awkward as it might have been. Aaron decided that Spencer had been right to force the issue of a conversation between him and Jessica about his new relationship. Both Aaron and Spencer were aware of Jessica’s scrutiny - certainly she cast what Aaron decided she meant to be surreptitious glances between them - but she was not especially subtle. Even so, Jessica didn’t seem to expect them to play tonsil hockey between bites of apple strudel. Aaron decided that the woman was likely trying to picture them together, to determine exactly what Aaron saw in Spencer and vice-versa. Aaron hoped she wasn’t comparing Spencer to her sister.

Jack was exuberant that some of his favorite people were in the same place, and Ms. Josephine was irrepressible. At one point, she asked, “Please do tell us what you’re working on, Spencer, dear. You’re up at all hours at the observatory, but you never have anything new to report.” Before Spencer could reply, she continued, “And do speak in layman’s terms. You know how all of that techno-mumbo-jumbo confuses me.”

Spencer grinned and caught Aaron’s eye. Ms. Josephine had been married to a world-renown physicist, and he was sure that she could follow the conversation, wherever he chose to take it, if not work out some of the mathematics on her own. Instead he said, “I do have exciting news from work, Josie - I discovered a new star!” He took a sip of his water, suddenly self-conscious as he realized everyone had gone quiet, all eyes on him.

Jack’s eyes were wide, and he whispered, “A _new_ star?”

Aaron was interested as well. This must be the news Spencer had mentioned a few times but upon which he had never elaborated.

“I’ve been trying to find time to tell you, but something always distracts us,” Spencer explained. Apparently he had been making calculations related to predicting the existence of pulsars near black holes. One of his calculations about the frequency of the pulsar did not match what had been previously observed. When he consulted with radio astronomers both in Cambridge and in Hawai’i, they confirmed the existence of a unique radio signature that seemed to indicate that the pulsar was actually part of a binary star system. “So when I account for this new star,” Spencer concluded, “my calculations are much closer to what I theorized.” He grinned at Jack, hoping to capture his imagination. “The only job left to do is to name the star.”

“You get to name it?” Jack was impressed.

“Well, Jack, I hoped you would help me with that. You have a terrific imagination."

Jack seemed pleased by the compliment. Spencer went on, "Of course, there’s a scientific way that stars are named - a catalog designation, really - because there are so many objects in space we need to keep an eye on. But when an astronomers discovers something new, they can also give it an informal name if they want.” Spencer was fully aware that this practice was controversial in the scientific community, but he didn't especially care if any of his more stuffy colleagues thought him romantic, and he intended to refer to the common name in the article about his findings. Hesitantly he asked, “If you don't have another idea, we could give it your family name. What do you guys think about Hotchner?”

“You would name it after us?” Aaron asked.

Spencer gave Aaron a shy smile. “I did first predict it the week after we met and only recently confirmed its existence. I think it’s appropriate.”

Jack had grown still. “What do you think, Jack?” Spencer prompted.

“I know it’s your star, but I’d rather you named it after Mom instead of me,” Jack said quietly. “Grandma told me that when people die, their souls become new stars in the sky.” Suddenly he sounded much older than his six years. “I didn’t believe her, not really, but it would be nice if were true.”

Spencer nodded his understanding and turned to Jessica. “Your last name is Brooks, right?”

Jessica was clearly at a loss about whatever her mother had said to Jack, but she confirmed, “Yes.”

“Shall we call it the Brooks-Hotchner star?” Spencer proposed. “Will that work, Jack?”

Jack beamed his agreement.

“What a lovely idea, Spencer,” Ms. Josephine added.

Spencer looked to Aaron. He was the only one left to comment.

Aaron cleared his throat. “It’s a fine tribute to your mother, Jack. I don’t know what to say, Spencer. Thank you.”

Spencer looked at Aaron. _You don’t need to thank me for wanting to make you and your son happy_ , he thought. He raised his wine glass, “Here’s to the newly discovered Brooks-Hotchner star!” and everyone toasted, even Jack with his glass filled with apple cider.

Ms. Josephine turned the conversation to the upcoming month. She wanted to make plans to go north with everyone else in the city to see the leaves in full color. Apparently there were antique stores to visit and places where you could get your own maple syrup directly from taps in the trees.

Jack thought antiques were boring, but the maple syrup sounded fun. “The same kind you put on pancakes?” he asked.

“One and the same, Jack,” Ms. Josephine told him. “They also use the fresh syrup to make candy.”

The thought of candy reminded Spencer of Halloween, and he asked Jack if he had decided on a costume.

Aaron learned that Halloween was Spencer’s favorite holiday, which was interesting because Aaron had never cared for it himself. He decided that there must be a psychological factor in play related to one’s comfort level with the wearing of masks and having enough self-assurance to adopt a new persona for a night.

Soon Spencer and Jack had their heads together planning costumes and plotting tricks to go with treats. Ms. Josephine interjected a comment about gelatin, the relevance of which Aaron missed entirely.

Aaron caught Jessica’s eye, and when he quirked a brow at her, she smiled and nodded. He sighed with some relief. Jessica, now clearly having a better understanding of what Aaron saw in Spencer, was solidly in their corner.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Much later, after Jessica had tucked Jack into bed with a story, and Spencer had walked Ms. Josephine home, Aaron and Spencer were alone in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. In truth, after storing the leftovers, there wasn’t much left to do except load a few dishes into the dishwasher and hand wash the wine glasses. Spencer was drying the last one, when Aaron turned to him, took the glass, and set it aside. Aaron pulled Spencer to him and kissed him soundly. “I’ve been wanting to do this for hours. Thank you,” he whispered against Spencer’s mouth, then "thank you, thank you, thank you," each punctuated with gentle kisses.

Spencer’s arms automatically came around Aaron to hold him in place, but he pulled back, a little puzzled.

Aaron clarified, “Jack - naming the new star - you’re so good with him." Aaron wanted to find the right words. Finally he settled on, "You’re good _for_ both of us.”

Spencer pulled Aaron more tightly to him and kissed him with unbridled passion. He wanted to inhale Aaron’s essence until the man was a part of him. His tongue licked against Aaron’s soft lips, begging for entrance to allow him to taste, and Aaron opened for him. Spencer tried to express all that he could not say aloud in his kiss, desperately swallowing words that threatened to escape before their time.

Aaron was breathless when he broke their kiss for a moment. “Stay tonight, Spencer?” he asked, tilting his head so he could drop kisses and licks along Spencer’s sensitive jawline.

“Of course I’ll stay. I can probably leave before … ”

“No,” Aaron was clear on this point, and deep brown eyes full of resolve met hazel ones, dilated with passion. “You’re not sneaking away early before everyone’s awake. I want you here in the morning with us.”

If possible, Spencer’s kisses became even more enthusiastic and were the only confirmation Aaron needed.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Several days later, Spencer closed the lid of his laptop and began to pace. His studio was not really large enough to contain the energy coursing through him. In less than two hours, Spencer now knew everything that was in the public domain about George Foyet, aka The Reaper, and to say it was upsetting was the epitome of understatement.

First, Spencer had downloaded a digital version of Roy Colson’s book about the Reaper. At the end of the book, the journalist speculated that Foyet was either dead or imprisoned for an unrelated crime, which clearly proved to be a false assumption. Then Spencer had turned to the Internet for news and blog entries.

Most of the news stories were from wire services and duplicated official press releases - Spencer bemoaned the fate of investigative journalism in the so-called Information Age - but he read every word. Beginning in 1995, after several brutal stabbing murders in Boston, the press received a letter from someone calling himself The Reaper, who took credit for the murders. _Interesting that he named himself,_ Spencer thought. Over the span of three years, he claimed twenty lives. Bloggers vilified the Boston police for their failure to protect the city’s citizens, and community groups called for results to no avail. The BAU, led by Aaron, had finally been asked to assist the Boston authorities by a Detective Tom Shaunessy. There were several articles over the course of six weeks in which Aaron or Shaunessy was quoted or named. The murders appeared to have stopped, but no arrest was made. Several times each year thereafter, The Reaper was mentioned, usually in connection to remembering his Boston victims on the anniversaries of their deaths. Almost every entry appeared to close by noting that there was ‘no new information’ in the case.

Several published master’s theses and Ph.D. dissertations referenced Foyet, usually written by criminology or psychology candidates. While the complicated psychopathology of the narcissistic sociopath with no clear victimology was interesting, it did not add to the information Spencer wanted.

Fast-forwarding to well over a decade later, numerous articles ran in the Boston papers suggesting that The Reaper had a copycat. The BAU once again traveled to Boston. The copycat theory was quickly debunked in favor of Foyet being alive and active again.

The article that announced Foyet’s arrest suggested that a dormancy period for over a decade was highly unlikely given Foyet’s psychological profile and speculated about unknown victims. A ‘notable psychiatrist and criminologist’ was consulted, but the source wasn’t named. The next day Foyet made headlines with his daring escape from custody, but the accompanying text was filled with more questions and suppositions than facts. A joint statement released by the Boston PD and the BAU said that they would devote all of their resources to recapturing Foyet. _It was surely a serious embarrassment for them_ , Spencer reasoned.

Months later, news reports appeared in the Boston, Washington, DC, and Arlington, Virginia papers related to Foyet’s demise. The Bureau had evidently managed the press to some extent, but Spencer was certain that the “ _woman whose name is being withheld pending notification of next-of-kin_ _”_ was Haley Hotchner. He was just as certain that Aaron had surely been involved in Foyet’s death at the scene. Several articles had quoted Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi ( _Dave, Aaron calls him_ , Spencer thought.) as saying, _“George Foyet died at the scene as a result of injuries sustained during his apprehension. A statement will be forthcoming following a formal review, per FBI procedure.”_

Spencer was worried, and he needed to talk to Aaron. He tried to rationalize the many reasons Aaron likely had for not discussing any of this with him. _You’ve learned more on the Internet in two hours than you have from Aaron in almost a month,_ his inner voice taunted. Nevertheless, the woman who had asked Aaron about The Reaper after his first lecture had attended Aaron’s lecture again last night, prompting Spencer’s research spree. She had actually slipped out before the Q &A session, but Spencer found her behavior suspicious given Foyet’s Boston connection. He wanted to know who she was and why she was interested in Aaron. He checked his phone - no new messages - but it was just after 8 a.m. Aaron would be back home from walking Jack to school by the time Spencer arrived.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer found Aaron in Ms. Josephine’s yard, raking and bagging leaves. Aaron smiled warmly in greeting.

Spencer raised a hand and found another rake in her garage. This was the Aaron he was coming to know - more open and trusting. Of course Aaron was an intensely private person, but Spencer was sure there had been a shift in their weeks together. _You're not being logical, Spencer, _he told himself. _Aaron is entitled to secrets, just as you are_. Spencer thought that perhaps some physical labor would help him gather his scattered thoughts and make sense of his growing unease and irrational anger.__

Nearly an hour later, when they finally took a break, Aaron surveyed the yard, counting twenty bags of leaves, but he was hard-pressed to tell the yard had been raked at all. “What brings you over so early this morning?” Aaron asked. “I thought you were at the observatory all night.”

“Not all night - I need to know about George Foyet, Aaron.” _Well, that was more abrupt and confrontational than I intended,_ Spencer grimaced. However, he’d been stewing now for hours, ruminating over all that he’d learned from the book and the papers, more still that Aaron surely knew but hadn’t shared. His active mind kept devising more elaborate theories and conspiracies to explain Aaron’s reticence.

Aaron went unnaturally still and considered Spencer quietly. The pain was clear in eyes that were working hard to betray nothing. Spencer recognized the man he had first encountered several weeks ago. He hated himself for putting that haunted look back into Aaron’s eyes.

Aaron turned and walked across the street to his house, expecting that Spencer would follow. They left their rakes by the door on the porch, but Aaron didn’t stop downstairs. He led Spencer to the master bedroom and locked the door behind them.

“What happened to _‘Take as long as you need,’_ Spencer?” Aaron finally turned to face him, his anger palpable.

“You’re right. I did say that,” Spencer agreed, but tried to appeal to Aaron's reason. “But Aaron, something has changed. You could be in danger - you need to know … ”

“No, _you_ need to know,” Aaron’s interrupted, his voice sounding hostile even to himself. He hadn’t wanted Spencer to have to deal with this. _You didn’t want to deal with this,_ his inner voice was compelled to correct him. Surely Spencer was beginning to wonder why Aaron had yet to take his shirt off when they’d gone to bed. It was inevitable that Spencer would eventually see the scars, but Aaron wanted more time. _Foyet be damned_ , he thought. _If Spencer was going to leave, sooner was better than later,_ he supposed. The pain that idea caused surprised Aaron with its intensity. _Let’s get this over with._

Aaron crossed his arms and grasped the bottom of his university t-shirt, molded to his body from the sweat of his morning exertions. He pulled off the t-shirt and tossed it to the corner of the room with one smooth motion.

Spencer’s initial thought was to wonder why Aaron wanted to be undressed for this conversation, then his brain began to process what he was seeing. Numerous scars marred Aaron’s smooth, muscular abdomen. He could see others along Aaron’s rib cage, better hidden in the thicker, darker chest hair. “Aaron, my God,” he breathed. He reached out to touch one, but Aaron backed up a step, avoiding his touch. They were still pink, not the angry red of new scars, but neither were they old scar tissue turned white. They bore the look of sutures, surgical in appearance, but no combination of surgeries of which Spencer could conceive would result in such damage.

“Foyet did this.” It wasn’t a question. Spencer’s mind quickly processed all he’d read as he attempted to assimilate this new information with what he had read. The timeline he’d constructed in his mind didn't fit. “When? How?”

Aaron watched Spencer’s reaction as he debated how to answer or even if he wanted to answer. _If there were a Cult of Knowledge, then Spencer was its acolyte,_ Aaron mused ironically. He had somehow connected the serial killer Aaron had mentioned with Foyet, and he wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew everything. Aaron remembered the Q &A session from his first lecture and the woman who had asked about Foyet’s dormant period. _That’s how Spencer made the connection,_ he decided. Aaron thought he had seen her again last night, but if so, she left before he could find her afterward. Spencer had seen her, Aaron concluded, and she was likely the source of his concerns, whoever she was.

As Spencer saw Aaron try out various responses and discard them, he ached to reach out to the man again. But he did not think he could handle another rebuff. “I’m sorry, Aaron, but …,” he began.

“If you want to leave, I understand,” Aaron managed.

“Leave?” Spencer didn’t understand. “Why? Of course I don’t want to leave.”

Aaron could tell that the thought of leaving had never entered Spencer’s mind, and he felt himself take his first easy breath since Spencer had asked him directly about Foyet. He sat, or more accurately, collapsed, on the edge of the bed, and Spencer came to him. This time he allowed Spencer’s hand on his leg, and he put his arm around the other man’s shoulder.

“I’m so glad,” Aaron whispered.

“Why would I?” Spencer genuinely didn’t understand.

“These scars can’t be attractive; there’s no way you could find _this_ sexy.” Aaron tried to get up, but Spencer stopped him with an arm around his own.

Spencer read the uncertainty and insecurity still present in Aaron’s eyes as clearly as if he’d spoken of his fears aloud. “I’m only going to say this once, Aaron,” already knowing that he would say it as many times as it took for Aaron to actually hear him. “You are attractive to me in every way. I find you incredibly hot. Everything we do together is beyond amazing. And it has very little to do with your physical appearance.” Spencer paused, thinking of the unique combination of qualities that made Aaron irresistible to him, but there was no denying that the man is gorgeous as well. He continued, “You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. Certainly these scars in no way detract from your appeal.”

“You’re not turned off then?”

“Do you really believe I am that shallow, so superficial as to … ?”

Aaron cut him off with a kiss. He brushed the back of his fingers against Spencer’s prominent cheekbone, now flushed, “You’re so young. You’re beautiful and you’re brilliant - you could have anyone … ”

“I cannot even remember a time when I wasn't old enough to know my own mind. And I am exactly where I want to be. I am with the man I choose.” Spencer pushed Aaron down onto the bed with him climbed on top of him. _And I’m falling in love with you,_ but he did not dare say it. _Aaron already seemed so skittish, who knew what he might do with emotional pressure like that?_

Spencer proceeded to make love to Aaron with his mouth. Aaron was tense underneath him, but eventually Spencer's persistence began to yield results. He felt Aaron gradually relax into his kisses. He began to respond to Spencer, kissing him back and bringing his large hands up to hold Spencer’s head in place. When Spencer thought Aaron would be receptive, he moved his kisses lower, spending a lot of time on Aaron’s neck, wanting to take the time for Aaron's arousal to build. Finally, he moved lower to Aaron’s chest, where he used lips, tongue, and light fingers to worship Aaron’s torso. He traced the scars, but he didn’t spend any more time on them than on unblemished skin. Aaron seemed to especially like it when Spencer reached the sensitive skin along his sides and under his arms. Spencer sought to replace at least a few of the ugly memories he had inadvertently resurrected with pleasurable ones. He mouthed the skin beneath each arm, inhaling Aaron’s musky scent, and Aaron groaned his approval. Spencer’s subconscious mind registered a count of nine. The physical pain Aaron must have suffered at Foyet’s hand was inconceivable to him. When Aaron began to mindlessly thrust his hips upward seeking more contact, Spencer unzipped Aaron’s jeans and pulled his cock out. He took Aaron into his mouth, laving him with the same care he had taken everywhere else. His hands wandered up to stroke Aaron’s sides tenderly and he splayed his fingers through the luxurious hair on Aaron’s chest. When he found a stiff nipple protruding, he lightly pinched it between his thumb and middle finger, and Aaron bucked one last time and came in Spencer’s mouth. Spencer swallowed around Aaron’s cock and gentled his mouth and tongue, but he didn’t pull away until Aaron’s orgasm had completely subsided and he had milked every last drop of Aaron’s pleasure from him.

When Aaron came back to himself, he felt completely raw and entirely vulnerable. He decided he needed a minute. “Go ahead and get into the shower,” he told Spencer. “I’ll be right back.” He went downstairs to retrieve some bottles of water from the refrigerator and hopefully to regain some of his composure. Spencer had seen the worst of the damage now, and he certainly hadn’t left. He’d been insulted that Aaron thought he might even consider it. _Maybe he is stronger than he looks,_ Aaron thought.

Aaron joined Spencer in the shower, using his hands to soap Spencer’s body, even when Spencer protested he’d already washed. Aaron loved having his hands on him. He washed Spencer’s hair, working the herbal shampoo into a lather and massaging his scalp, taking care to keep soap out of his eyes, wanting to show the man how much he appreciated him. When they were rinsed, he knelt in front of Spencer and tried his skills again at oral sex. Judging from Spencer’s enthusiastic response, Aaron’s skills were coming along nicely. All too soon, Spencer's cock was buried in Aaron's throat and he released. Aaron swallowed and swallowed again, but Spencer was too deep for him to taste even as he sought to manage everything Spencer had to offer. He pulled off a little as the pulses abated so he could better taste the flavor that was uniquely Spencer.

Spencer stroked Aaron’s burgeoning erection to full hardness, then knelt in front of him, encouraging Aaron to fuck his face. When Aaron would have tried to be gentle, Spencer guided Aaron's hands to his head, urging him to take his pleasure. Spencer used soapy fingers to caress Aaron’s ass, dipping into the cleft splitting his gorgeous ass. Aaron saw stars when Spencer’s fingers lightly passed over Aaron’s pucker, then pressed more insistently on his perineum. With just a few more thrusts, Aaron came in Spencer’s throat, and Spencer swallowed around him, gently tonguing his cock until they were both finally completely spent.

Spencer rose to his feet and kissed Aaron, and Aaron loved tasting himself on Spencer’s tongue, their flavors intermingled. Aaron couldn’t say how long they kissed, cocks soft, but he decided he really liked sex in the shower. When the water started to cool, their skin was beginning to prune, and Aaron decided they could continue this in bed. Turning off the water, he reached for a large white bath sheet, and he carefully dried Spencer. Then he made quick work of drying himself and led Spencer back to his bed.

Aaron stripped the bedspread off and pulled a quilt up over them, as they settled in, Aaron holding Spencer from behind, stroking his chest. Aaron’s soft cock was cushioned against Spencer’s gorgeous ass. Aaron pulled his thoughts away from as-yet unexplored possibilities. He wouldn’t be good for another round for awhile anyhow.

Spencer hadn’t slept, and he loved the way Aaron was holding him, securely, protectively. It would be so easy to fall asleep here in his arms and hope his concerns were gone when he awoke. That wasn’t realistic, though, but before he could say anything, Aaron began to speak.

“After Foyet’s escape, he attacked me in my apartment. Haley and Jack lived in the house,” Aaron explained. He told Spencer about the deal Foyet had made with Shaunessy and how he had turned down the same deal. “He wanted me to survive the attack; he even took me to the hospital himself. He left me alive intentionally because he wanted to see me suffer. The best way to do that was to take Jack away from me. Jack and Haley were in witness protection when Foyet found them. I hadn’t seen or spoken to either of them in months.”

Spencer was quiet, listening intently, hearing the anguish of those months in Aaron’s voice.

“When Foyet found them, Haley was on the phone with me.” He explained how he’d managed to get Jack to hide by using their inside joke of ‘working the case,’ Jack climbing into the bench next to the desk Aaron had used when he worked from home.

Aaron was silent for long moments, and Spencer wasn't sure he was going to continue.

“The bastard shot her while I was on the phone.”

Aaron felt Spencer flinch, but when he didn’t comment, only hugged Aaron’s arms more closely around him, Aaron continued, his voice raw. “I killed him, Spencer. When I got there and found Haley’s body … When I found Foyet hiding, wearing a vest ... Spencer, I beat him to death with my bare hands.”

A part of Aaron felt detached from the conversation; as if he were observing himself from a distance, noting his behavior clinically, the inflections of his voice. _Shock, still, after all this time,_ he concluded. At the same time, Aaron felt as if a weight had been removed from his chest. He had never said it in so many words. Of course, Morgan knew. Dave knew. His entire team knew. But they had insulated him. He had taken the retirement Erin Strauss had offered, and there had been no serious investigation of his actions that day. He had never confessed his own sins to anyone, perhaps not even to himself.

“I think I can understand that, Aaron,” Spencer tried to soothe him.

“It wasn’t my place. My job was … ” Aaron protested.

“This wasn’t about your job,” Spencer interrupted, more forcefully this time. “The way I see it, this was about you and your family. Foyet brutalized you. He killed your wife, and he would have killed Jack.”

“You can still be with me, knowing that I killed a man? You can forgive what I’ve done?”

Aaron sounded lost, and it broke Spencer’s heart a little. It also angered him anew to think that this brave, noble, confident man - a leader of men - was in a place of penitence, seeking Spencer's forgiveness, as if perhaps he couldn't be worthy of Spencer's love without it.

Spencer turned in Aaron’s arms and ran his hands across his strong, beautiful face. Holding him still, he kissed him, forehead, each eye, smoothing the lines, on his lips, now set and tight, unresponsive. “I understand, Aaron. You’re a father, and like a father should - not that I have any direct experience with it - you put Jack’s well-being above everything else, even your own moral code.” Spencer paused. He wanted to get this right. “One of the many reasons I … care … about you is because of the way you are committed to your son.” Spencer softly added, “You don’t need me to forgive you, Aaron. You need to forgive yourself.”

Aaron thought about it. Spencer was right, as usual. Perhaps it would be easier if he had the excuse of a blind fury. No, he remembered every detail. Time had actually seemed to slow, and Aaron had known exactly what he was doing while he was doing it. It had been Foyet's intention to push Aaron to his limit. Foyet had found Aaron's limit and paid the ultimate price for it. It was really as simple and as complicated as that.

Spencer nuzzled his head more comfortably into Aaron’s shoulder. He used his free arm to pull Aaron closer to him, their naked bodies fitting together as if they were two halves of a whole. He struggled to stay awake for another minute. There was just one more thing before he could sleep. “Aaron, that woman …”

Aaron brushed a kiss across his temple. “I know the one you mean, Spencer. If she turns up again, I’ll have Morgan or Dave check her out,” Aaron promised. “Don’t worry.”

Aaron held Spencer while he slept, eventually following into slumber for a little while.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_


	9. interstellar medium

**interstellar medium**

_the gas and dust that exist in open space between the stars_

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer awoke slowly in Aaron’s bed, a bit disappointed that he was alone, but not overly concerned. He could hear Aaron and Jack downstairs, laughing.  _They_ _’re in the media room_ , he guessed.  _Maybe they_ _’re playing a video game._ Spencer thought he heard other voices too. He pulled on his clothes and tried to make himself presentable as best he could. He was overdue a haircut or something. It wasn’t really long enough to pull back, but it was too long to look neat.  _Aaron seems to like my hair,_ he mused.  _Maybe I won_ _’t cut it, but I will have to suffer through this awkward phase._  He pushed it over to one side and tucked the stray pieces behind his ear.

Following the voices, Spencer was greeted by the sight of Aaron and Jack hovering over the computer, with Melissa and Marc on one screen and a flamboyant blonde woman on the other. Jack was telling the twins goodnight - they were already in their pajamas. Spencer checked the time - it was nearly four! He couldn’t recall the last time he’d slept so long. He waved goodnight to the kids when he realized they could see him too. He anxiously caught Aaron’s gaze, but Aaron only smiled affectionately and held out his hand. Spencer took it and was surprised when Aaron used it to pull him into a brief, possessive kiss. Aaron chuckled at Spencer’s reaction and kissed him again on the forehead, keeping their hands clasped.

After the twins had signed off, the blonde woman said, “You should be all set, Jack.”

“Thanks, Aunt Penelope!” Jack’s attention was focused on the computer.

Aaron could tell that he and Spencer had captured her attention and she was dying to ask any one of a thousand questions. “I’ve added them to the picture list too, sir,” was all Garcia said, and Aaron could clearly see that she was biting her cheek. He was sure that it was only Jack’s presence that was preventing her from squealing.

Aaron decided to take pity on his friend and introduce her to Spencer. “Penelope, this is Dr. Spencer Reid.” Aaron wasn’t sure what he should call Spencer _. His lover, his friend, his boyfriend? All true enough,_ he supposed, _but none sufficient._  She had seen their kiss. _Good enough,_ he thought. “Spencer, this is Penelope Garcia. She is a technical analyst with the BAU and our good friend. You definitely want her on your side.”

 _Reid?_  Penelope thought. Hotch had asked her to research a Reid family in Las Vegas last week. She had emailed him her findings and hadn’t heard any more about it.  _Was it the same family?_ she wondered. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” she said formally.

Spencer wanted to kick Aaron for using the honorific.  _It_ _’s not as if I’m a medical doctor,_ he thought _._  “Please just call me Spencer,” he smiled warmly, hoping he didn’t look as if he’d just rolled out of bed. “I’ve heard so much about you. This is a terrific media center you’ve created for Aaron and Jack.” He wanted to make a good impression with Aaron’s friends, but he didn’t think he would be meeting them this soon and via video conference of all things.

Rossi popped into the frame. “Hotch! I thought I heard your voice.”

Aaron made introductions once again.

Rossi decided on the spot that he was overdue a trip to Boston.

“I’m glad Garcia has you on the line, Aaron. I’ll be in town on Sunday for a few days. The publisher is re-releasing one of my books and wants to do a signing there.” Rossi did not add that he had already declined the request. He knew his motives were transparent to Aaron, but he thought Aaron would understand all the same.

“I’ve read all of your books, Agent Rossi,” Spencer put in.

Aaron and Rossi both looked surprised, then Aaron realized he shouldn’t be, thinking of the new books in his own office.

“Please call me Dave, Spencer. You’re interested in behavioral analysis?” Rossi asked.

Spencer then realized one of the reasons Aaron introduced him as Dr. Reid. He wanted to ensure his friends saw Spencer as their equal, not as someone younger and inexperienced.

“Only recently,” Spencer smiled affectionately at Aaron, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with Dave. “I’ve been particularly thinking about algorithms for geographic mapping of crime patterns,” Spencer added, then realized he sounded like a complete geek and wished he’d stayed silent. _It_ _’s better than believing I have an unnatural fascination with serial killers,_ he rationalized.

“Very interesting, Spencer. I look forward to hearing more,” Rossi replied.

“I hope you’ll stay here with us instead of getting a hotel, Dave,” Aaron offered.

“Naturally,” Rossi was smug. “Don’t worry about meeting my flight. I’ll take a car from Logan.”

“See you on Sunday.”

“’Bye,” Garcia quickly waved as Dave leaned over her and ended the connection.

Aaron mused that while Penelope wanted to interrogate him, Dave had taken it upon himself to get their answers in person. It was always good to see Dave, and he looked forward to his visit.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

At the BAU offices in DC, Jennifer Jareau shared a look with Emily Prentiss.

It was unusual for anyone to take vacation days, particularly unplanned ones. At their morning meeting, Rossi announced to the team that he would be in Boston for a few days early the following week. He noted that if they had a case, he would take a direct flight from Boston and meet them on-site. Morgan had simply nodded in acknowledgment and moved on to the next topic, leaving the impression that Rossi and Morgan had discussed it. Both women wondered if something was wrong with Hotch.  
  
“Shall we see if Garcia wants to have lunch today?” Emily suggested.

“Great idea,” Jennifer agreed, and the women went in search of their technical analyst.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer spent much of his Sunday shopping for Halloween. He was determined that Jack not be disappointed. - he found non-toxic body paints and hair dyes in fun shades. He had also gone overboard with decorations - eerie lights, jello molds, spray cobwebs. He wondered what Aaron would think of their plans for turning his home into a haunted house.  _No matter,_  Spencer reasoned. He was sure Jack would bring his dad around if he protested. Spencer thought for a moment how much he enjoyed watching father and son together and considered how fortunate he felt that they seemed to welcome him into their family, enjoying his presence and the easy company they shared.  
  
_Family_ , Spencer was reminded that a trip to Vegas was long overdue. He’d take a weekend during one of the upcoming holiday breaks, he decided, with dread. Spencer felt his phone vibrate. He checked the new text message.

_S - Will you come for dinner tonight? Dave should be here by five._

Spencer thought about it carefully. He did want to show Jack his purchases and brainstorm their decorating ideas. Ultimately, though, he decided that Dave probably wanted some time with Aaron alone when he arrived. That would suit his purposes better anyhow. He quickly typed a response.

_Not tonight, Aaron, if that_ _’s OK. Tomorrow instead? Late dinner or drinks after the signing?_

The university bookstore posted several announcements and had stacks of small fliers announcing the book signing for Monday. The graphic art professionally depicted the new cover for the re-release as well as Rossi’s photo from the book jacket. Spencer had the impression of a shrewd but kind man. Rossi must be a popular commodity to be able to command such short notice response from his large publishing house. Although they had not discussed it, Spencer did not believe Aaron bought Dave’s story about the impromptu trip any more than he did. Spencer hoped he could stand up under scrutiny, but in any event, he intended to have some alone time of his own with Agent Rossi. His phone vibrated with Aaron’s response.

_Should be fine. I_ _’ll see if Ms. J. can take Jack._

Now Spencer felt slightly guilty, but not enough to change his plans. He thought Rossi should be looking into the woman who was interested in Aaron and Foyet sooner rather than later.  _Aaron is being cavalier in dismissing her so quickly_ , he thought.  _I_ _’m probably overreacting,_ he contradicted himself. He had read about the psychopathology of followers or ‘groupies’ of serial killers - they wrote letters, collected memorabilia, celebrated significant dates.  _She_ _’s probably twisted, but harmless._  Still he wanted to make absolutely sure that Aaron and Jack stayed safe, and Agent Rossi seemed to be his most likely ally in that endeavor.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

“It’s good to see you, Dave.” Aaron met Dave at the front door, taking his bag and pulling his good friend into a warm embrace. Aaron couldn’t remember hugging the man in such a way and decided that it was a shame it had taken so long. They had seen one another through the worst of times over the years. He spared a thought that spending time with Spencer seemed to be increasing his comfort level with casual touches.

“Hotch, you look terrific,” Rossi commented. Aaron still projected that ineffable presence that accompanied great leaders, but he also seemed easier in some way. Rossi had no doubt that Aaron could still cut you with a look if he chose, but he didn’t sense as much of the reserve Aaron effectively used to distance himself from the rest of them.

“Where’s Jack?” Dave looked around, expecting that the boy should be home from school by now.

“He’s in the command center chatting with his friends in Belgium,” Aaron responded. Before he could explain, Rossi commented, “Right, your neighbor’s grandkids - Garcia told me all about them,” Rossi smiled, thinking of Penelope’s irrepressible humor as she related Jack urgently asking her to help him stay in touch with his new friends who were “ _six time zones and whole the Atlantic Ocean away_ _”_.

“How is Jack?” Rossi asked.

Aaron considered the question carefully. Rossi probably knew more about their past difficulties than anyone else. “Jack is healing,” Aaron finally said. “He still has quiet moments when I can tell he’s hurting, but they’re not as often and don’t last as long. He loves going to school and is making friends.”  
  
“That’s good to hear,” Rossi said with relief, remembering the all-too-serious child who had endured being separated from his father when Aaron was still hospitalized and the withdrawn child clutching his father’s hand desperately over his mother’s grave. “You’ve made a good life for him here,” Rossi added, squeezing Aaron’s shoulder to offer reassurance.  
  
“We’re working on it, Dave. I can’t replace what he lost … ” Aaron subsided, thinking that Jack did seem to be resuming his childhood after too many long months of adult concerns.

Aaron showed Rossi to the upstairs guest suite and invited him to get settled. “Dinner should be done in about an hour, but come on down whenever you’re ready. Jack and I will be around.”

Thirty minutes later, Dave found the Hotchner men in the kitchen. Aaron was putting the finishing touches on a salad, and Jack appeared to be supervising Aaron’s culinary efforts. When the child spotted Dave, he slid off of his stool and ran into his arms. “Uncle Dave! We missed you!”

“Should we order the pizza now or later?” he teased.

Aaron’s mock indignation earned him a giggle from Jack.  
  
“Ms. Josephine brought us dinner,” Jack informed him. “It’s a homemade pot pie. All Dad has to do is heat it in the oven at 350 degrees for 45 minutes and serve.” Jack was clearly parroting the instructions that Aaron had been given. “I hope she forgot the carrots this time,” he added.

“No such luck, buddy, and we have fifteen minutes to go.” Aaron pulled Jack off of Dave and playfully tickled him. “Let your Uncle Dave breathe.”

“Will Spencer be joining us?” Dave inquired innocently.

“Not tonight,” Jack answered for his father and launched into excited descriptions of Halloween costumes and magic tricks and haunted houses.

Aaron smiled indulgently at his son. Halloween was shaping up to be quite the event. “We thought we could have a late dinner together tomorrow, Dave,” Aaron looked at his friend, and added, “I think he wanted us to have some time alone before tossing himself into the fray.”

“Interesting,” was all Dave said, then set about finding a wine on Aaron’s rack that might complement poultry in a heavy cream sauce. In the end, he opened a fresh Beaujolais he remembered telling Aaron about himself.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

After Aaron convinced Jack to go to bed, that Uncle Dave would be visiting them for a few days, Aaron found Dave in his office, perusing his bookshelves. He didn’t have to wonder what Dave profiled from the titles considering the quiet of the past year. His books from law school and those amassed while working for the BAU were on the shelves alongside the literary classics he preferred. He didn't think he'd added any new books since his retirement until meeting Spencer. In the past few weeks, he had picked up a couple of books that were recommended about the origin of the universe and the life cycles of stars. Neither had held his attention in the same way Spencer did just by talking about the subjects. Malory’s _Le Morte d_ _’Arthur_ and _The Poems of Fran_ ç _ois Villon_ were on the table next to one of the reading chairs.

Aaron wondered if Dave had dug deeply enough to understand the significance of these new additions to his library. He didn’t mind for himself, but he considered that Spencer might well see it as an invasion of his privacy. He thought of the reports he’d studied last week from Garcia about Las Vegas and decided he was in no position to talk about respecting privacy. He wondered if, or more likely when, he would talk with Spencer about Garcia’s research.

When Dave saw him in the doorway, he pushed a glass of scotch into his hand and took a deep swallow from his own glass. They made themselves comfortable in the reading chairs.

“Start at the beginning, and don’t leave anything out,” Dave instructed.

Much later when Aaron crawled into his bed to sleep for a few hours before he had to wake Jack for school, he decided that he was glad Dave had manufactured an excuse to visit. He wondered if that had been his subconscious intention all along.  _What was I thinking, coming out, as it were, to Penelope then Dave via their video call?_  It had felt so natural, kissing Spencer when he was still a bit rumpled from sleep. Spencer frequently joined one or both of the Hotchner men as their schedules permitted and seamlessly fit into their lives. Aaron was somewhat surprised with the ease he felt with Spencer. He knew it was early days, but they did not seem to have any difficulties accommodating one another. It felt good to Aaron that he seemed to be enough for Spencer, that Spencer did not seem to have any expectations that Aaron was failing to meet.  
  
In retrospect, the alternative - hiding, denying Spencer, their relationship to his friends - was untenable. That would have confused Jack and hurt Spencer. He knew his team well enough to know that even if they were surprised, they would trust and respect his decisions. If anyone might have an issue with him and Spencer, it would be Morgan. Dave had not said so directly, but he inferred that Aaron should speak with Morgan personally before he heard about Aaron’s new relationship second-hand.

Aaron was grateful for Dave’s unwavering support. Dave appeared to be reserving judgment about Spencer personally until he met the man himself, although he thought ‘the boy showed good sense’ when Aaron had shared Spencer’s thoughts about Foyet’s death. Aaron sincerely hoped Dave didn’t call Spencer a ‘boy’ when they met tomorrow. As for the rest of it, Dave had been philosophical. “The heart wants what the heart wants. You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with,” he’d said. Dave did comment that Jack seemed to be as taken by Spencer as Aaron was, and Aaron could only agree.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Dave had just begun reading the first passage he selected from his book when he noticed the young man standing toward the back of the room. He briefly wondered why Spencer was here at the bookstore for the signing when they’d made plans to meet later at the university club for a late dinner. He didn’t give it much more thought, however, deciding he would find out eventually.

Spencer listened as Dave read, enjoying the way his writing style reflected so much of the man’s personality. Dave then entertained his fans with some humorous anecdotes of life on the road with the BAU. Dave took several questions from the group, intermittently sipping from a bottle of water. Spencer recognized some similarities between Aaron’s style and Dave’s in the ease with which Dave interacted with the public. Spencer decided Dave was likely also a mentor to Aaron as well as a friend. For over an hour, Spencer quietly observed as Dave greeted his readers and signed copies of his book for them, deftly answering or deflecting their questions according to the subject and his mood. He decided he had been correct in his impressions - shrewd and kind.

As the crowd dwindled, Dave nodded to Spencer. He had been aware of the young man waiting patiently for him. He thanked the bookstore manager, who handed him his overcoat, and made his way to Spencer. “It’s good to meet you in person, Spencer. Thank you for coming,” Dave began, offering his hand.

Spencer shook Dave’s hand, “It was my pleasure. You have quite a following,” he commented.

“It’s a popular subject,” Dave observed. “People are fascinated by the macabre and the depths to which mankind can sink.”

Spencer nodded, noncommittally, filing the topic away as a good subject for another time. He was determined to speak with Dave about the woman he believed was stalking Aaron. It was only three blocks to the club where Aaron had arranged for them to meet after he tucked Jack into bed at Ms. Josephine’s. Spencer didn’t want to waste the little time he had with small talk. “Shall we walk over together?”

“What’s on your mind, Spencer?” Dave asked pointedly when the men were clear of the people milling about the square in front of the store.

Refusing to be intimidated, Spencer quickly and succinctly outlined his concerns to Dave, repeating the woman’s question to Aaron about Foyet and describing her appearance in detail. Spencer added that after the second lecture she attended, she left quickly before anyone could speak with her. Spencer had already decided to take a photo of her with his phone when he saw her again and said as much to Dave.

Dave reviewed the women he knew to be in Foyet’s sphere of influence. As best he could recall, they were all dead - mother, stepmother, girlfriend - but it never hurt to be cautious. “I’ll see what I can find out, Spencer. I appreciate you letting me know.”

Dave noted the intelligence and warmth mixed with the concern sparking in dancing hazel eyes. Objectively, Spencer Reid was an incredibly beautiful man. Aside from the facts of his education and career, Dave had not been able to pry any additional information from Garcia. And he had no doubts that she knew more than she had shared.

Some of his concerns had been laid to rest after speaking with Aaron last night. Both Aaron and Jack were clearly enamored with the young man. He thought Spencer likely the cause of some of the newfound ease in Aaron’s posture. From Jack’s chatter, it seemed clear that the man took as much interest in the son as in the father.

Dave was impressed with the young man’s maturity and demeanor, but the sixteen years between Aaron and Spencer was a significant age difference. Although the men were quite different superficially, Dave could see that Spencer’s personality seemed to be on par with the force that was Aaron Hotchner. Just as with his selection of teammates, Aaron needed a partner who was strong enough to stand beside him and to challenge him. Dave decided that Aaron may well have found his match. Aloud he said, “I’m glad Aaron has someone here to look out for him.” He clapped Spencer on the shoulder and changed the subject as they approached the club. “Jack tells me that the two of you are planning tricks for Halloween.”

If Aaron thought it odd that Spencer and his best friend walked into the club together laughing and chatting companionably, he didn’t mention it.


	10. jet

**jet**

_a narrow stream of gas or particles ejected from an accretion disk surrounding a star or black hole_

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

The pale light of early morning filtered through the bedroom window, casting an ethereal glow over Aaron’s bed where Spencer slept peacefully. Spencer always looked youthful to Aaron, but in sleep, he could pass for a teenager. Remembering the passion in this bed last night, Aaron’s cock stirred, and he was grateful that Spencer was very much an adult man and his lover. Shifting as quietly as possible so as not to disturb him, Aaron made himself comfortable so he could enjoy watching him sleep for as long as possible before they needed to start the day.

Their absolutely over-the-top Halloween celebration the previous night had left Aaron with an overload of feelings. He thought his chest might burst as he tried to sort through them all. He wasn’t sure when all of the planning had occurred, but Spencer arrived mid-morning with several young people in a van - Aaron assumed they were students - who delivered bales of hay, coolers of dry ice, pumpkins, and assorted boxes. Spencer himself, laden with bags, greeted an anxiously-awaiting Jack to ‘get the house ready’. Aaron tried to sequester himself in his office with lecture notes, but before long, Spencer and Jack pulled him away, insisting that his help was required with lights and extension cords. 

Spencer had a plan and a timetable - most investigations Aaron had run had not been this well-orchestrated. Before the first trick-or-treaters arrived near dusk, his home was transformed. There were delicate white and orange lights (tastefully, he hoped) decorating the two trees nearest the street because as Jack said, “People need to know which house, Dad.” The front porch morphed into a passable haunted house and the kitchen and dining area, an open house. There was something for everyone. Spencer, in a long striped scarf and floppy hat, and Jack, as Captain America, greeted each person as they arrived. Before long the children were savvy enough to choose ‘Trick!’ when they were asked ‘Trick or Treat?’ in return. Spencer and Jack had magic tricks at the ready. _When did Spencer show Jack how to perform magic tricks?_ Aaron wondered.

The smallest ones and their parents were directed into the kitchen where they were treated to hot apple cider or hot chocolate (with or without rum) and pumpkin or banana cream pie provided by Ms. Josephine. Jack and Spencer had made ‘dirt’ and ‘brains’ for the children, who were morbidly fascinated by trying the orange, red, and green gelatin molds. Earlier, Spencer and Jack had giggled uncontrollably while mixing fruit-flavored gummy worms throughout a melange of crumbled cookies and chocolate pudding, which they dumped from the bowl into a bucket, adding a small plastic shovel for serving.

Older children were sent down a winding path the length of the porch, illuminated by eerie orange lights and strobes. Strategically-placed dry ice created spooky mists and effigies of vampires and zombies perched atop bales of hay in ghoulish poses. A soundtrack of shrieks, groans, screams, and demonic laughter provided a creepy background to increase tension. Spencer had engineered several buttons at different points along the path that, when stepped on, resulted in menacing skeletons dropping down or ghouls sweeping past.

Aaron slipped back into his office early during the preparations to retrieve his camera. He tried to be unobtrusive but took countless photos and short videos throughout the day and evening of the event, especially of Jack and of Jack and Spencer. Jack was positively thrilled with the entire day, and Aaron loved seeing his son so happy. Jack and Spencer’s exuberance had extended to include him, and he could not remember having more fun. Aaron had felt Haley’s presence, her words echoing throughout the day. _He needs to know that you weren_ _’t always so serious, Aaron._ Spencer had taken so much time and care to truly create a memory with his son, for the three of them really. And Aaron adored him for it.

By eight o’clock, the van returned. This time, Aaron learned that they were indeed Spencer’s students and their friends. Spencer introduced everyone and especially thanked his graduate assistant, Maria, who he credited with ‘strategy and logistics, not only on Halloween but throughout the year’. The students cheerfully managed the bulk of the cleanup, and by nine, the house was nearly restored to its former state. The lights remained in the trees and the hay bales on the porch. Pumpkins had been rearranged with some other gourds and flint corn. Aaron noticed a wreath fashioned by entwining short, autumn branches with colored leaves. He motioned Spencer over and together they hung it on the front door.

It took some time for Jack to wind down from all of the excitement. During his bath, Jack filled in a few blanks for his dad.

 _"_ Captain America saves people like you do, Dad, but I’m still not sure that he would know any card tricks. Spencer said … .” Aaron was too focused on _like you do_ to process the rest.

 _“_ Tom Baker was the very best Doctor - he and Sara Jane Smith and K-9 had adventures in space and time in a TARDIS. That stands for … .” Because Aaron did actually listen to Penelope, even if he had not seen a single episode, he identified the _Doctor Who_ references. He wondered if he’d be watching them with Spencer and his son over the winter and surprisingly did not find the idea unappealing.

 _“_ You were a great lumberjack, Dad, but next year you need an ax or maybe an ox. Paul Bunyan had a blue ox named Babe who … .” Aaron considered his red plaid flannel shirt, jeans, and boots and smiled at his son’s imagination. He was sure Spencer had spun the tale to Jack at some point in the day without making Aaron feel uncomfortable. _I need to make an actual effort next year,_ he thought. _Maybe Halloween isn_ _’t as bad as it’s always seemed to me._

Once Jack was in his pajamas and tucked into bed, sleep claimed him mid-sentence. Aaron kissed his forehead and turned on the night light, then realized that Spencer was watching from the hall just outside the doorway, looking uncertain. Aaron waved him in, and Spencer gave Jack his own goodnight kiss.  
  
After Aaron closed and locked his bedroom door behind them, he did his level best to show Spencer exactly how much his efforts were appreciated.

Aaron inhaled sharply as his body clenched with the memory. There were no words for how much he craved having Spencer in his mouth. Last night, he’d brought Spencer to the brink, time and again, until the younger man was incoherently begging. Finally, Aaron allowed him release and Aaron savored it, exulting in the power he could exert over his beautiful lover, but always thirsting for more.

“Aaron?” Spencer’s eyes were open now and looking questioningly at him. “Everything alright?” he asked softly.

“More than,” Aaron responded, unwilling to hold back his smile. 

“You're watching me sleep!” accused Spencer, feeling both self-conscious and aroused.

“What if I am?” Aaron teased. Spencer looked so warm and inviting, Aaron considered pouncing, but he refrained.

“Was I drooling?” Spencer checked his lips with a finger. “I do sometimes. And it’s been said that I talk in my sleep too. I don’t believe I’ve sleepwalked since I was a child, but my mother once told me that - .”

Aaron brushed his lips across Spencer’s, once, twice, then licked to taste him, ending that thought for the moment.

When Aaron pulled back, Spencer looked adorably dazed. “And what was that for?”

“It was to say thank you, Spencer,” Aaron replied.

 “You thanked me last night,” Spencer’s grin was irrepressible. “and I thanked you, then you thanked me - ”

Aaron laughed and kissed him again, deeper. “I am a grateful man,” he murmured.

Spencer smiled, “So this is your plan? If you don’t want to listen to me, you’ll kiss me to keep me quiet?”

Aaron interspersed his words with kisses. “I - always - want - to listen - to you - There’s - this - one - sound - you - make - when -”

Spencer laughed, twisted, pulling the sheet away as he moved down the bed, then licked Aaron slowly, wetly, from base to leaking tip, leaving a glistening trail in his wake.

Aaron shivered at the cool Spencer’s warm tongue left behind. He must have groaned.

Spencer licked again, and again, turning the tables. “We - will - see - who - makes - that - sound - when - .”

Aaron was sure he groaned; he may have pleaded, and there were no more actual words for awhile.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Garcia looked at Rossi, eyes wide with shock behind her large blue frames. “Yes, sir. Of course, sir,” she whispered. Regaining her composure, she asked, “But would you please repeat that one more time? Just to be very certain that I didn’t misunderstand?”

Rossi tried to be patient. For all of her dramatics, Garcia was the best tech he'd ever seen. He’d considered doing nothing for now, but a voice in his ear kept nagging. It sounded more like Spencer Reid than himself. Still, he'd done some more research - the Bureau had a file on Dr. Reid; they had performed a background check on him for the Department of Defense for some work with NASA early in his career. He still held a Top Secret security clearance. The FBI had tried to recruit him; so had the CIA, according to a friend of his there. The young man was one of the most respected astrophysicists in the field, a wunderkind. With three Ph.D.’s in physics, mathematics, and classical languages by 25, he drew a lot of attention to himself. The evidence pointed to fluency in the Indo-European languages, including Russian. Although it didn’t appear that he did translation work himself, several scientific journals and symposia had him on-call to perform final peer reviews of any translated papers submitted.

“I want you to do deep background on every woman who ever crossed George Foyet’s path,” Rossi repeated. “I’ve already verified that the major players are deceased, but I want more about those on the periphery. Focus on women between 30 and 50 now - girlfriends we didn’t discover, sisters of victims, daughters of third cousins of victims. You know the drill. We may be looking for someone 5’5, 130 lbs, with dark brown hair, but I don’t want to eliminate anyone based on those criteria yet.”

Garcia nodded. “Of course, sir. I’ll get right on it.” She paused, then asked, “Are Hotch and Jack … ?”

“Hotch and Jack are doing well, Garcia,” he smiled reassuringly. “We had a good visit. You should get up to Boston yourself.”

Garcia waited, thinking the senior agent had more to say. Finally, “It’s probably nothing, just a niggling feeling.”

 _Garcia doesn_ _’t need to know it isn't his own feeling, or at least it hadn’t begun that way_ , Dave reasoned.

She nodded, then tentatively asked, “Dr. Reid, sir?”

“You should get up to Boston yourself,” Rossi repeated firmly. “And Garcia? This is high-priority, but for now, let’s keep it between you and me.”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered, “I won’t let you down.” So far she had held fast while enduring Emily and Jennifer’s not-so-subtle campaign for information about Rossi’s unplanned trip. After the fruitless lunch, she was now invited for drinks after work - not that they didn’t do that once in awhile. “Just the girls,” Emily had said with J.J. encouraging, smiling, “It’s been too long.” The women obviously had an ulterior motive, double-teaming her the way they were. 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron was brooding. Something was wrong with Spencer. Or with himself. Or with both of them. He watched Spencer over the top of the law journal that was doing a poor job of holding his attention.

On nights that Spencer was at Aaron and Jack’s house, after putting Jack to bed, they had fallen into a routine of sorts. They would spend time in Aaron’s office, reading, writing, working companionably, until either Spencer needed to leave for the observatory or the chemistry thrumming between them crested and they ended up - eventually - wrapped around each other in Aaron’s bed for the duration of the night, sated for the moment. Occasionally, Spencer tried to quietly slip away without disturbing him. Aaron always awoke, though. He was a light sleeper and seemed to have a sixth sense about Spencer’s presence in any case. One goodbye kiss invariably grew completely out-of-proportion until it was actually imperative that Spencer leave. After all, he did have a work schedule that included appointments, phone calls, and meetings, albeit an unconventional one. But Aaron was left fully awake, aroused, and thirsty for more. He much preferred the nights Spencer stayed through breakfast with him and Jack.

Reviewing the past few days, Aaron decided that Spencer hadn’t really been himself since sometime after that memorable All Saints Day, which was when? Over a week ago, now. Spencer had left after dinner and video games with Jack a couple of nights. Another night Ms. Josephine had lightly tapped on the door bringing them _un quelque chose_ , or more precisely, Sanguinello that one of her children had sent from a vacation in Italy. Neither man had really cared for the bitter syrup made from blood oranges, but they’d had a good visit with Ms. Josephine. Spencer volunteered to walk the eccentric neighbor home, leaving Aaron with a lingering kiss and a promise to see him the next day. The other nights Spencer left before morning. It was maddening.

From all appearances, Spencer was preparing to leave yet again. He stood and began to stow the papers he had been marking in his messenger bag when he became aware of Aaron’s gaze. 

He began to explain, “I’m just going to take these back to my office on campus, and - ”

“No.” _Damn,_ Aaron thought, standing himself. _I didn_ _’t mean to sound so confrontational. I want him to be open with me, to tell me what I’ve done or what is wrong so we can get past this._ The irony of the countless times he had used work to evade uncomfortable conversations in the past did not escape him.

“No?” Spencer asked quietly, quirking a brow. His posture was ramrod stiff, and he stood with crossed arms, waiting silently.

 Aaron admired Spencer’s technique. People usually rushed to fill silence given the opportunity. Aaron tried to resist the temptation.

 After what seemed an eternity to Aaron, Spencer turned to go, then turned back.

 “What would you think about … ?” Spencer spoke over Aaron’s, “Why do you feel as if … ?”

 “You first, Spencer.”

 “Aaron, go ahead.”

 They shared a wry grimace; it was a bit ridiculous to behave so awkwardly with one another.

 “Will you stay a little longer if you can?” Aaron finally asked. “Please?”

Spencer retook his chair, but on the edge and keeping his messenger bag in his lap. Aaron watched his elegant fingers that brought him so much pleasure smoothing the already well-worn, soft leather of the strap. When Spencer noticed Aaron’s scrutiny, he stilled, bringing Aaron back to the moment.

Aaron sat again too, deciding it would be up to him to begin. “Spencer, is something wrong?” He didn’t want to sound accusatory, but he couldn’t help himself from adding, “You haven’t stayed over in awhile. I’ve missed you.” Aaron thought of how much _better_ breakfast was when Spencer joined him and Jack. “We both miss you.”

Spencer was on his feet again. He tossed his messenger bag aside and began pacing in the relatively small room. “I should never have begun spending the night. It was poor judgment, and I apologize profusely to both you and Jack. I feel terribly that Jack has begun to count on me. I did not fully realize how involved we had all become until after Halloween. It felt as if we were a family, or at least what I believe a family might feel like.”

Aaron stood and reached for him, but Spencer dodged. He did stop pacing and turned to face him. Aaron could only see utter despair in Spencer’s eyes. “It is not in Jack’s best interest for us to continue. It is not fair to him nor you either, for that matter. Already in his young life, he has suffered more trauma than any child should ever know. He must not be allowed to care for someone who will simply disappear! Do you have any idea how that feels?”

Spencer did not wait for an answer, but he resumed pacing and gesturing with his hands to make each point. “Let me tell you, Aaron. He will become an adult overnight and have far too many responsibilities. He will not have the same options as other children because he has no choices beyond fulfilling his obligations. There will be _no one_ for him to rely upon. He will be lonely. Every time he wants something different for his life, he will feel guilty, and eventually that guilt will destroy him. It just cannot happen, Aaron.”

Spencer turned away, muttering to himself, “Some genius. I should have thought of this the first night. Hell, of course, I did. I never forget anything.”

He turned back to Aaron again, meeting his gaze squarely. “But, Aaron, I was selfish. We were so amazing together, and I wanted you more than I wanted to breathe. I was self-indulgent and allowed us to become far more emotionally involved than is reasonable. And to bring Jack into it is unforgivable. Only children are often selfish, Aaron; I am sure you know that.” His voice softened, “Except Jack. He has the most generous soul. And you are an exemplary father. Please do not ever doubt yourself on that score.”

Spencer seemed to steel himself. “Jack is only six years old, and I will _not_ add to his burden.” Spencer’s hazel eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

Aaron stood now as he tried to make sense of everything Spencer had said. He was glad he’d trusted his instincts and forced the issue tonight because something was definitely very wrong. He wanted to go to Spencer, to hold him, but he was sorely afraid the man wouldn’t allow it. Spencer was trembling from the effort this had cost him and still he held back tears.

 _Where to start?_ Aaron wondered. Perhaps this wasn’t a hostage negotiation, but Spencer was obviously in crisis and at a tipping point. Whatever Aaron said next was vital because he was absolutely certain he risked Spencer leaving them for good.

Aaron asked evenly, “Why do you think you’re going to disappear, Spencer?”

Spencer swallowed and enunciated clearly. “There is at least a ten percent chance. One-in-ten. You cannot take that risk.” Spencer had pushed back the tears for the moment, but he was resolute.

 _At least I know what he_ _’s worried about now,_ Aaron thought. _Where should I step next in this minefield?_ _Spencer is comfortable with science and data. Hopefully, that's a good place to start_ _._ “Have you experienced any symptoms?” he asked aloud.

Spencer was perplexed. “My mother … ,” he began, then stopped.

When Spencer didn’t continue, Aaron gently reminded him, “I know about your mother, Spencer. You told me about her illness our second night together. You were honest with me from the outset,” Aaron emphasized. “I’m asking about _you_. Have _you_ had any symptoms?”

When Spencer remained silent, Aaron’s stomach twisted. _Surely they had spent time together often enough that he would recognize the signs. What would they do if Spencer were indeed ill?_ The answer came to him fully formed. Aaron would take care of him. Somehow. Even if they were no longer lovers, Spencer was much too important to him and to Jack. He would never let Spencer down.

Aaron prompted him gingerly, “Hallucinations? Delusions? Difficulties thinking clearly? Problems with your work? Paranoia?” With each question, Aaron moved a little closer until he was within touching distance.

When Aaron opened his arms, Spencer accepted the hug for a long moment, but then pulled away, brushing away a stray tear impatiently. “How would I know with any level of confidence, Aaron? I do not believe so, but perhaps I would not? I do keep a journal of sorts, and I examine it every so often for skipped days with no explanations or unusual entries. I have not found any irregularities therefore, I do not believe I have displayed any symptoms yet.”

The _yet_ Spencer added broke Aaron’s heart. Spencer was convinced he would develop schizophrenia as his mother had. Taking Spencer’s hand, Aaron led him out of the office, through the kitchen, and into the den. He sat at one end of a deep sofa and pulled Spencer onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around the man. Spencer stiffened, but he did not insist on Aaron letting him go, which Aaron decided to interpret as a good sign. The room was bathed in shadows, and the house was quiet except for their breathing. They might have been the last two people left in the world.

“Do you have any other risk factors?” Aaron quietly asked.

Spencer shook his head in the negative. After a moment, he elaborated, “I don’t think so. I’m physically healthy and have never taken any psychoactive drugs. But Aaron, that does not mean - ”

Aaron cut him off, resting his head against Spencer’s, hoping he was offering comfort. “I heard you Spencer, but it’s my turn now.” 

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

_"_ Wheels up in thirty,” Morgan concluded their briefing. His team scattered to prepare to go to Portland. _This promises to be a bad one,_ Morgan thought, _as if there is ever a good one. BAU cases come in very bad, bad, and not as bad_.

J.J. and Emily followed Garcia as she made her way to her office to begin gathering some of the data she would need to provide her team remote support.

Looking around to verify that they were alone, J.J. commented, “Drinks will have to wait until we’re back.”

Penelope waited to see if there was more.

Emily was frustrated by the pretense. “Penelope, seriously. Why did Rossi go to Boston?”

“Just tell us if Aaron and Jack are alright,” J.J. implored.

Penelope decided she could do that much without betraying Rossi’s confidence. She whispered, “Agent Rossi assures me that both Aaron and Jack are doing well, and he suggested I go to visit them myself.” In a more normal tone, Penelope added, “Good luck in Oregon and stay safe. I’m here for anything you need.”

J.J. and Emily considered one another, each thinking that a personal trip may be the only way to find peace-of-mind.

Morgan was making his way down the corridor, go-bag on his shoulder, to give his Baby-Girl some last minute instructions and say farewell, but he stopped and listened when he heard whispering.

 _What is going on in Boston?_ he wondered. _Aaron seemed great when I was there. But, Baby-Girl is always in the know, which means there_ _’s something to know. Maybe when this case is over, I can sort it out._

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Aaron considered his arguments carefully. Losing Spencer was an option he refused to consider. “Spencer, I want you to know that I understand that this is terrifying for you. Your concerns about your future health are entirely justified.” Aaron could feel Spencer’s chest rising and falling. He was listening, so Aaron continued. “It isn’t fair, but all the research points to there being a genetic component to schizophrenia. A ten-percent likelihood of developing the disorder is a very real possibility.” 

“Surely, then, you can understand why - ,” but Aaron interrupted him with a little squeeze. “My turn,” he repeated gently, then when Spencer was quiet again, he continued.

“That said, Spencer, your situation is considerably different from your mother’s. For instance, you are no longer alone. You are … with … someone who has studied most mental disorders in great detail. Together, you and I can be alert for any sign whatsoever. If the worst should come to pass, we can ensure you receive a quick and accurate diagnosis and proper treatment from the outset. New treatments are being developed all the time. There has been much progress just within the last five or ten years. Your mother didn’t have those advantages at the beginning. If you couple the newest treatments with early diagnosis and support, there’s a very good likelihood that we can control your symptoms.”

“You keep saying _we_.”

“Shh,” Aaron chided. “I’m almost finished.”

“I love that you worry about Jack because it shows you care about him. But Jack will never be left alone entirely. I had a lot of time to consider different scenarios after his mother died. At present, if I couldn’t be here for Jack, he would live with J.J. and Will and be raised with their son, Henry. The other members of my team and his Aunt Jessica will support J.J. and Will or act as backup as needed.”

Aaron pressed his lips to Spencer’s temple, and Spencer turned to him, inviting a light kiss. The relief Aaron felt was heady. Perhaps he had convinced him to stay. “There’s one other thing, Spencer.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s too late to go back. I’m already attached to you, and I’m certain Jack is as well. If you disappeared today, it would not hurt us any less than if you disappeared in five or ten or twenty years.”

Eventually, Spencer nodded quietly. The same was true about his feelings for Aaron and Jack.

“What happened to bring all of this up now?” Aaron wondered.

“Halloween happened, Aaron. It was _too_ good. We hung a wreath together on your door. I kissed Jack goodnight, and we made love. Several times.” Aaron could hear the smile in Spencer’s tone and knew that at least for now, everything was alright.

Spencer continued, “I never celebrated a traditional Thanksgiving with my mom. When she was healthy, she refused because the holiday does not acknowledge the treachery of the early settlers toward Native Americans. I had the idea of asking you - you and Jack - to go with me to visit her over the holiday break. I’ve never been.”

“You’ve never been home for Thanksgiving?” Aaron was surprised.

“I’ve never been to visit at all.”

Spencer's voice was impassive, but after tonight, Aaron knew he was far from sanguine about his mother’s situation. What had he said the second time they were together? _I had her committed when I was 18 years old._ If Aaron had learned anything this evening, it was that Spencer felt deep remorse for that decision and paralyzing guilt for moving on with his life.

Aaron shifted, urging Spencer to turn so he could see him. Stroking Spencer’s cheek lightly with his fingertips, he said, “Then we’ll go.”


	11. Kuiper Belt

**Kuiper Belt**

  
_a large ring of icy, primitive objects beyond the orbit of Neptune, believed to be remnants of the original material that formed the solar system. (Pluto and Charon may be Kuiper Belt objects.)_

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer watched his lover’s face as he spoke on the phone. He’d tried to leave, go outside, upstairs, anywhere else to give Aaron some privacy, but Aaron held his hand up and shook his head. His eyes darkened, and he pressed his lips together more tightly. Spencer wished that he’d never broached the idea of visiting his mother for Thanksgiving. He hadn’t anticipated the difficulties Aaron would have extricating himself from family engagements.

“Mother, Jack and I are both doing well. It’s not that we don’t want to see you. We will see you, but not for Thanksgiving.” Spencer had heard Aaron express that sentiment in some form three times now.

“We’ve had this conversation, and our home is in Cambridge now.”

Aaron had been patient at first, but after fifteen minutes, Spencer could hear that any remaining forbearance was dwindling quickly. The angrier Aaron became, the more controlled his voice, his emotions, Spencer observed. Spencer could easily imagine him in the roles of agent or prosecutor. Those men would be formidable opponents, and he wouldn’t like to cross either of them.

“It’s regretful that you’ve invited others for the holiday, anticipating that we would be in Virginia. I’ve asked you before to refrain from making plans for Jack and me. I will ask him to call his grandmother later when he’s home from school.” Aaron ended the call. He seemed to have forgotten Spencer was there, staring out the window across the yard. Spencer wondered what he was seeing so far away; the gray day and dormant trees could not have held much interest.

Spencer approached from behind, deliberately speaking so as not to startle him. “We can plan to go another time.” Spencer’s arms encircled Aaron’s waist, and he pulled the older man to him. “There’s no reason that it needs to be Thanksgiving.”  
  
Aaron seemed to relax into his embrace, and Spencer felt his mood shift. With a mischievous grin, Aaron asked, “So you _want_ me to let my mother set me up with Henrietta’s daughter, Laura Beth?”  
  
Trying to hold back his smile and failing, Spencer said, “I’m sure she’s a wonderful person.”  
  
Aaron turned in Spencer’s arms, lightly teasing the younger man’s sides with his fingertips. “She comes from an excellent family and has a degree in English literature from Mary Baldwin,” he boasted with an unmistakable Tidewater accent.  
  
Spencer loved it when Aaron shared this playful side with him. “She’s your perfect match,” he acknowledged, decently mimicking Aaron’s tone.

“Indeed. It would be the wedding of the season,” Aaron grinned and continued in his own voice, “except for one or two relevant points.”

Spencer was intent on remaining stoic when it seemed Aaron’s fingertips were skating the edge of full-blown tickling. Repressing the giggles that threatened, he asked, “One or two?”

Aaron licked Spencer’s mouth, urging his lips to admit him, and Spencer’s body responded immediately to the kiss. Spencer had nearly lost the thread of the game, when Aaron turned his attention to his jaw, gently nipping, then a bit further down, along his slender neck. “The bar has been set considerably higher than a single bachelor’s degree from a liberal arts college ….”

Spencer was prepared to launch into a defense of the liberal arts education, including the pertinent facts that physics, mathematics, and languages are _all_ liberal arts, but Aaron’s kisses were becoming rougher, early afternoon stubble abrading sensitive skin where neck meets shoulder. And his fingers, moving teasingly under Spencer’s arms, still menaced.

Aaron lifted his head, returning to Spencer’s lips, “And …”

Aaron’s left hand moved lower, on Spencer’s hip now. “I doubt Laura Beth has … ”

That wandering hand cupped Spencer’s burgeoning erection lightly through his jeans, and Spencer didn’t dare breathe.

Giving him a possessive squeeze, Aaron concluded, “… the anatomy that interests me.” And then Aaron’s fingers were back under his arms in just that way that Spencer couldn’t suppress an indignant yelp. He tried to grab Aaron as he twisted away, but Aaron eluded him and jogged up the stairs, chuckling. Spencer laughed and gave chase, as Aaron had known he would.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

An hour later, Aaron billowed the sheet a couple of times to cool their bodies, shiny with sweat, before tossing it aside and resting his head on Spencer’s shoulder. Aaron imagined the rest of the bedding was scattered around on the floor, but he couldn’t be bothered to look. Spencer’s cock was resting atop dark blond curls but it wasn’t soft. For that matter neither was his. Most people would think two orgasms would be enough for a forty-six-year-old man on a lazy afternoon.

Before Spencer, after one climax, he would have been drifting into sleep or fighting it away, according to where he needed to be next. Aaron wondered if his light schedule made the difference. And he did almost always sleep through the night now or return to sleep quickly on the - thankfully few - nights Spencer left in the early morning hours. Although Spencer had not mentioned it directly, Aaron had the impression that Spencer shuffled as much of his work around as he could since Aaron expressed the desire that he be there for breakfast.

When he did allow Spencer to catch him, Spencer had pushed him onto the bed and landed astride him. They’d quickly undressed one another, managing the feat despite rough kisses with tongue and teeth and hands that evidently couldn’t bear to lose contact with naked skin. Spencer rubbed their bodies together, teasing Aaron’s dick with his own. Aaron thrilled at feeling their cocks sliding alongside one another, driving their arousal higher. By the time Spencer wrapped them both in one hand as best he was able, Aaron was close to madness. He covered Spencer’s hand with his own, and after only a few strokes, he erupted, coating their hands and cocks. With a few more better-lubricated thrusts, Spencer found his release too, and they held one another until the tremors abated.

Lazily they licked one another’s hands clean, and Aaron’s libido not sated, he paid special attention to Spencer’s, giving each finger the same attention he planned for Spencer’s cock. Spencer groaned, tracing his moist fingers over Aaron’s lips, his eyes dark with renewed desire. Aaron applied himself to removing the evidence of their coupling from Spencer’s flat stomach, then balls, and finally cock.

Spencer urged Aaron to lie diagonally to allow him room to do the same. The groan was Aaron’s this time, and he mildly cursed even as he relented. Aaron had learned repeatedly that there was no way he could think clearly with Spencer’s tongue wrapped around his dick. His only strategy was in trying his best to remain focused on Spencer’s pleasure, which was self-defeating, until his body would no longer allow it. His best must have been good enough because long minutes later, Spencer filled Aaron’s mouth, inducing Aaron’s own climax deep in Spencer’s throat.

Aaron was comfortable on Spencer’s shoulder, and he wondered how their bodies decided who rested where. As often as not, he held Spencer much the same way after lovemaking. Aaron’s desire should have been entirely slaked, but his body craved something more. He felt ashamed of himself that he could be so greedy, even after such indescribable pleasure. The inexplicable need for _more_ was becoming overwhelming.

Spencer was more experienced than he, so early on, Aaron thought it was sensible to learn from him. He smiled, remembering his _academic knowledge_. That said, Aaron felt as if he had long since mastered blow jobs. Perhaps he simply needed to ask Spencer directly about his thoughts about their next steps. For all Aaron knew, Spencer might not want anything more. Aaron would be sorely disappointed, but ultimately he would manage. _It_ _’s not as if our sex life isn’t already beyond anything I could have dreamed._  
  
Spencer’s arms came around him, and he pulled Aaron more tightly against him. “What are _you_ smiling about?” he asked. “I caught you and had my way with you. Twice,” Spencer teased. Then more seriously he said softly, “You have the best smile.”

Aaron felt his heart turn over. “Is that how you remember it, genius?” he kissed Spencer’s chin. “I _allowed_ you to catch me, which means I was complicit.”  
  
Spencer’s eyes, now amber, studied him. He hadn’t forgotten his question. _Well, the answer is easy_ , Aaron thought. Aloud he said, “I was thinking about making love with you.”

Spencer beamed, “That’s one of my favorite topics.” When Aaron didn’t elaborate, Spencer prompted, “And?”

“Fishing?” Aaron teased. Aaron still didn’t know how Spencer was usually able to read him so clearly, but he was glad nonetheless.  
  
“Maybe,” Spencer smiled, seductively, but decided a comment about rods and tackle was beneath him.

Aaron followed his line of thought anyway and, smirking, pressed himself suggestively into Spencer. _Here goes,_ Aaron thought, hoping his _academic knowledge_ would not fail him now.

“Some men never engage in penetrative sexual intercourse,” Aaron began, knowing his didactic commentary was completely transparent, but would serve his purposes if it generated discussion. “They are sexually fulfilled without it,” he added.

Spencer shifted and urged Aaron to roll over on top of him. “And what about you, Aaron? Are you sexually fulfilled without engaging in penetrative sexual intercourse?” he asked evenly.

“I don’t believe that I am,” Aaron began, “but …”

“Thank goodness!” Spencer exclaimed and in seconds he’d pulled Aaron’s mouth to his, kissing the other man fervently. Aaron’s already-bruised lips welcomed the onslaught.

When Spencer allowed him to next catch his breath, Aaron asked, “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Why haven’t you?” Spencer retorted.

“Point,” Aaron replied, “but I’m saying something now. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I always seem to want more of you.” Aaron’s lingering need morphed into more undeniable hunger. “How do we do this?” pressing his hips into Spencer’s own, loving the way both of their cocks were again primed and ready, how Spencer’s narrow hips fit between his thighs. Aaron dipped his head, kissing Spencer tenderly, belying his insistent erection that felt altogether too close to a climax from conversation alone.

“How do you imagine it?” Spencer asked. Evidently, he wasn’t finished with the discussion. Aaron was perplexed. His brain had conjured countless images of them together in every possible way and many that were probably physically impossible but still worth trying.

Before he could answer, Spencer grinned, “Permission to dispense with academia, Sir?”  
  
“Granted,” Aaron responded in the best authoritarian voice he could muster, sprawled naked as he was on top of his lover.

Spencer smiled and, trapping one of Aaron’s legs beneath his own, shifted his weight and rolled so that Aaron was now beneath him. He indulged himself with another sip from Aaron’s lips.  
  
“Nice move,” Aaron commented.

“Self-defense,” was Spencer’s pithy reply.

Spencer wanted Aaron to consider his question seriously, though. He had tried very hard to only ask Aaron for what he willingly gave or directly asked. Considering Aaron’s prior heterosexual experience, he might very well be more comfortable on top, and Spencer didn’t want to press either way. He wanted Aaron to come into his own without undue influence. Spencer would be fine with whatever they decided. _It shouldn_ _’t be sustainable,_ Spencer thought. He too felt a yearning to find ways to be closer, which was only amplified by the knowledge that Aaron was having similar feelings. _Aaron should be aware of his options_ , Spencer reasoned. _Maybe if I describe some of the ways I_ _’ve imagined us, he will tell me what he finds most stimulating, or his body will._

Spencer whispered, “Do you imagine fucking me, Aaron, your gorgeous cock hard and buried in me as deeply as possible?” Aaron’s cocked seemed to jerk in response, so Spencer decided to continue. “Or do you envision your body under mine, my cock stretching you wide, fucking you?” Aaron groaned, so Spencer decided he was on the right track. “Or do you see our bodies coming together some other way?” He licked Aaron’s throat and lingered there, suckling on his Adam’s apple, sampling all of the flavors that were _Aaron_ to him now.  
  
Aaron was seconds from losing his mind. Every single time he thought he couldn’t be more turned on, Spencer demonstrated that he was wrong. Aaron swallowed. “Other way?” he managed hoarsely.

“Sure,” Spencer breathed into Aaron’s ear, delighted that Aaron was so responsive to sexy talk. Propping himself with one arm on the bed, he pushed Aaron’s mussed dark hair back and looked deeply into the fathomless eyes he adored. Spencer continued quietly, “You on your knees, ass in the air for me. My wet, slippery fingers - one then two, maybe even three or more - pushing into you, stretching you, holding you open for me. You fucking yourself on my hand until one of my fingertips grazes your prostate just so and you come on the sheet beneath you.”

Aaron tried to focus on simply breathing because he could easily imagine the picture Spencer painted for him and he ached for it. While he was searching for words to tell Spencer that was exactly what he wanted, Spencer went on without him.

“Me on my back with a pillow holding my hips up, my legs spread wide open for you. Your wet tongue pushing into my ass, licking, sucking, tasting, until my hole relaxes completely and I’m wild to have you in me. Your tongue stiff now, fucking me until I come mindlessly all over myself without you ever touching my cock.”

“I get it,” Aaron tried to laugh, but it was truthfully no more than a croak. He was certain he was on the verge of begging. He swallowed. “All of that. I want to try everything,” he finally managed.  
  
“Now?” Spencer teased, loving how open Aaron was being with him. It felt like a precious gift.

The tiny corner of Aaron’s brain that was still functional noted the time. With great difficulty, he forced his body’s demands aside for the moment. He was inordinately pleased that Spencer seemed to be having a similar issue and deservedly so. “Soon,” he countered. “Jack.”

“Let’s go get him,” Spencer agreed.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

Spencer wanted to do something special for Aaron. Aaron had made all of their arrangements for Nevada. Initially Spencer had been miffed that he was barely consulted, but he quickly realized that it was Aaron’s way of protecting him, which defused his anger. And if the preparations had been left to him, he would likely have found any number of reasons to postpone or cancel, as he’d done so often in the past. He suspected Aaron took that into consideration as well.

Jessica had been somewhat disappointed, but Aaron reported that her parents were in poor health. She had her hands full with her father, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, and her mother, who was trying to care for him at home. Seeing one another over Christmas or at the New Year would work just as well for her. If Aaron had any second thoughts about abandoning his own mother’s plans, he gave no indication. The team was on a case, but he said he’d left a message about their upcoming trip with Dave and that Penelope had their itinerary. Spencer smiled to himself, thinking of the exuberant woman he already liked so well. _Most likely, Penelope had made the arrangements for Aaron, and kept a copy_ , he speculated _._

As Spencer finished a letter to his mother, detailing his plan to visit for Thanksgiving, he reviewed his schedule. His seminar students had a paper due after the holiday, but at the moment, they all seemed to be doing well. He liked his role as teacher and advisor. Inevitably everyone had more questions than answers, which is exactly how it should be. They were asking the relevant questions and thinking creatively, and he couldn’t ask for more. The paper detailing the discovery of Hotchner-Brooks, presenting the observational and mathematical evidence, was in review. However, he had allowed himself to fall behind in his reading. He’d take an hour or so to catch up there, he decided, tucking an assortment of journals and neatly labeled folders into his messenger bag. For many publications, he also received digital subscriptions, and although he could appreciate the advantages, he much preferred having hard copies in hand whenever feasible - he simply read faster that way. Checking the calendar, there was nothing to do but wait, Spencer mused. _Well, not nothing,_ he amended with a smile, _if they could ever manage some alone time. Perhaps he should enlist Ms. Josephine_ _’s assistance._

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

When Spencer arrived early in the afternoon, no one was home so he let himself in. The SUV wasn’t in the garage, which usually indicated that Aaron had driven north of the city to a firing range. He seemed to practice on a semimonthly schedule. When Spencer had asked him about it, Aaron explained that as a retired agent, he did not need a state license, but he felt that regular training was the only responsible action as long as firearms were in his home. He’d shown Spencer his safes, office and bedroom, and the different models of Glocks he kept, even offering to teach him if he was interested. Spencer declined, at least for the present time. He had mixed feelings about firearms, primarily because he was concerned for Jack’s safety. Spencer observed that Jack did not appear to take any particular interest when Aaron had the weapons out, cleaning them after the range. Spencer supposed that it was a part of Jack’s tableau and decided to table the issue for now. He trusted Aaron; the man embodied the very definition of _personal responsibility_.

Aaron had given him a set of keys without ceremony - house, garage, SUV. When Spencer had protested, Aaron had simply pressed the key ring into Spencer’s hand and closed his it with his own, kissing him until Spencer decided it wasn’t worth debate. Now as he considered dinner, he rolled his eyes. Maybe this had been Aaron’s plan all along. He liked to cook; it was only chemistry after all. It was just nicer when they were able to cook together.

There hadn’t been any snow yet, but as far as Spencer was concerned, if the temperature was below 50 °F, then warm-weather food was needed. He took a quick inventory of the pantry and refrigerator and sent Aaron a text.  
_  
A - Crusty bread? Sourdough? -S_

Several minutes later, Aaron replied. _Sure - home by 5. Ms. J is getting Jack. -A_

Spencer smiled at that. Ms. Josephine had been eager to help him _have some adult time with Aaron_ , as she phrased it, when he’d fumbled a bit asking if she could take Jack overnight.

Before three o’clock, Spencer had assembled a pot of _monastery stew,_ which Ms. Josephine had actually taught him to make when he was a teenager. Lentils simmered in an herb-tomato base with whatever root vegetables were on hand. Spencer added potatoes, sweet potatoes, leeks, garlic, and only a few of Jack’s dreaded carrots. He grated some swiss cheese to sprinkle on top, then settled down in the den with his reading.

Much later, as he finished making some notes in the margin of the last journal, Spencer realized that he could hear Ms. Josephine’s voice and Jack and Aaron’s laughter. They were in the kitchen, which meant the stew was likely safe. And the kitchen.

Following the voices, Spencer greeted everyone. “How long have you all been home? I completely lost track of the time.”

Jack was at the table doing homework, and Spencer hugged him hello. _Phonics_ , he noticed. _Jack reads well above his grade level. We need to make sure he isn_ _’t bored._

Aaron gave Spencer a light kiss, pressing a mug of coffee into his hands. “I’m just arriving, but I believe these two have been here awhile,” he answered. “How was work?”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled, taking the coffee. He took a small sip to test - perfect temperature and sweetness. He hoped he never became complacent about the many small ways Aaron was attentive, anticipating his needs before he was aware of them.

He was acutely aware that Ms. Josephine was observing the domestic scene with no small amount of smugness. Perhaps he hadn’t exercised his best judgment by involving her in his plan for Aaron. Spencer gave the woman what he hoped was a stern look of warning before realizing she was the reason dinner hadn’t burned. “Thank you for rescuing the stew,” he was sheepish.

She smiled indulgently as if it were her lot in life to save hapless men from themselves. “My own recipe, how could I not?” The _double entendre_ was not lost on him.

“It’s appreciated,” he added, simply.

Aaron was watching their exchange with bemused interest, and Spencer hoped the profiler’s suspicions weren’t already piqued. Remembering his earlier question, Spencer went on, “I was just catching up with reading. They’re designing an interferometer to improve the way we measure gravitational waves on Earth. If we could increase the existing sensitivity by a factor of two, then … ,” Spencer wondered if he’d gone on too long as he was apt to do, “… that would be quite an accomplishment,” he finished and took another sip of his coffee.

“What would an increase in sensitivity mean, Spencer?” Aaron prompted.  
  
And there was yet another reason Aaron deserved something special. Aaron went out of his way to prevent Spencer from censoring himself. He’d commented that Spencer had every right to be excited about his work and that he shouldn’t feel as if he couldn’t talk about it with them. _I may not understand every detail, but I_ _’m sure I can grasp the big picture, especially with your straightforward explanations,_ he’d said.  
  
Spencer decided to review. “Neutron stars are the dense remnants of stars after supernovae that exert powerful gravitational forces. If a neutron star is massive enough, it collapses on itself and forms a black hole. By measuring the effects of the gravitational forces of neutron stars more accurately, we will be able to study their composition and behavior when they collide.” Spencer shrugged, “It’s another step closer to understanding spacetime.”

Aaron nodded thoughtfully and kissed him. “Thank you.”

Jack wanted to know more about stars colliding, so Spencer joined him at the table to sketch the ways it might happen.  
  
Ms. Josephine and Aaron watched the two of them from the kitchen.

“You know, Aaron, I think of him as one of my own,” Ms. Josephine commented. “David did too.”

When Aaron remained silent, she quietly added, “I’m glad you’re going to Vegas with him. It’s been a long time coming.”

Now Spencer and Jack were drawing ocean waves and he overheard the term _interference_ and plans to toss pebbles into the river.

“He needs to go,” Aaron said simply.

“You’re just the man to ensure he gets what he needs.”  
  
Aaron didn’t know how to respond.

“Don’t worry, dear.” She bussed his cheek. “He’ll do the same for you.”

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_

After dinner, Aaron was certain he was being played. He’d wondered earlier in the day when Ms. Josephine had called, volunteering to take Jack shopping for vacation clothes. Given how quickly Jack was growing, however, Aaron decided that it couldn’t hurt to get some new outfits and a swimsuit. If he had not already outgrown his clothes from the previous summer, he soon would.

Now Ms. Josephine urged Jack to get his backpack so he could spend the night with her. She went to great lengths to explain that they hadn’t found anything they liked at the local galleria, but tomorrow they would get an early start with breakfast downtown and perhaps even brave one of the malls in the suburbs if circumstances became dire. If shopping went well, there was even an animated feature they might see. She assured him that they would be in touch.  
  
Meanwhile, Jack was to his room and back in a flash with his backpack obviously already packed for an overnight stay. Aaron almost called a halt to the charade, but then Jack cheerfully kissed first him, then Spencer, goodnight and told them to have a good time. And they were gone. The difference between Jack now and a year ago was astounding. Aaron watched them until they were safely in Josephine’s home, then turned back to Spencer, who was trying for nonchalant but only managed guilty.

“Is there some reason we need the house to ourselves tonight, Spencer?” Aaron asked mildly, hoping his lover wanted to continue their _conversation_ from the other afternoon.

Spencer heard more suggestiveness than irritation in Aaron’s voice, which went a long way toward reassuring him. He shrugged and looked at his lover. “I apologize. I know I should have asked you first.” He put his arms around the man and his lips were drawn to Aaron’s strong jaw. “This way we don’t need to be inhibited and worry about making too much noise.” Now his lips were behind Aaron’ ear, nibbling.

“It’s a good idea, Spencer,” Aaron teased. “Jack might be frightened if he awoke to your screams.”

“ _My screams?_ ” Spencer laughed. “I bet I can make you scream first.”

Aaron didn’t deny it.

_Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer-Aaron-Spencer_


End file.
